How to Make Him Want You
Sometimes in a long-term relationship you reach a point where it seems like the flame has just burned out, and that wild attraction you first had for each other has fizzled away. You still love each other, but the passion has taken a back seat to more practical priorities and a night of sultry, sizzling love-making is nothing more than a distant memory.
And you miss that feeling. You miss the days when he couldn’t keep his hands off you. You remember what it felt like for your man to reach for you during the night, and now it feels like sleeping with an uninterested stranger. You’re wondering if it’s possible to “bring back that lovin’ feeling.” What can you do to re-ignite the spark? How can you make him want you so bad he can’t wait to be alone with you?
Here are a few tips on how to get your groove back and make him want you all over again:
#1 Let him know that YOU want HIM!
Maybe he doesn’t try to get in your pants all the time anymore because he thinks you don’t want him to. He knows how busy you are with your job and taking care of the kids and making dinner and all that you do, and he’s heard you tell him “I’m too tired” enough times that he just accepts that he’s out of luck. You’ve slipped into a routine that doesn’t include any hanky-panky so now your man is under the impression that you don’t want him that way. He probably thinks the only things you want him for are to take out the trash and fix the leak under the sink.
So the most important step in making him want you is to let him know that you want him. You can do this a few different ways- with subtle hints or with a bold move. Subtle ways to get your message across could include things like this: when you pass by him in the hallway, reach over and squeeze his tush. The bold move is to just come right out and say it: “Baby, I want you.”
The odds are in your favor. If your man realizes you actually want him to make a move he will probably rise to the occasion.
#2 Build anticipation.
Get him to think about you all day long… while he’s at work, while he’s at the gym, while he’s hanging out with his friends. Do something that will get his attention and keep it even while he’s not with you. You could write him a little love note and put it in his lunch box or briefcase. Say something like: “Let’s have some alone time tonight, you sexy thing,” or “I’ve got something to show you when you get home.” (Be prepared to show him a new teddy, or go nude under a trench coat.)
Another way to get yourself on his mind is for you to surprise him out of his ordinary morning routine by turning that quick goodbye peck-on-the-cheek as he leaves for work into a long, wet, passionate kiss. He won’t be able to concentrate on anything all day for thinking about you and that kiss.
#3 Make an effort with your appearance.
I know the sweat pants are really comfortable, and you barely have time to take a shower, much less shave your legs. But if you look like a harried housewife then you don’t look like you want some nooky. So go the extra mile with your appearance. Some would say men don’t notice when you are wearing a new outfit or you’ve done something different with your hair. I say make him notice. Go all the way, over the top, no holds barred.
Start from the skin out. Not only do you want to be clean and smelling great, you want your skin to be soft and smooth. Take time with your grooming, and you know what I mean. Then wear the clothes that make you feelsexy and that show off your best features. First, wear your sexiest bra and panties. You don’t want him to start undressing you and get turned off by the granny panties. If you have a favorite dress, wear that. When he comes in the door and sees you all dressed up, he might ask where you’re going or if you have plans he forgot about. Just say, “No plans to go out, sugarlips, I just wanted to look nice for my man.”
#4 Do something he likes.
You know your man, and you know what makes him happy. Make a special effort to give him something that you know he really enjoys. This could be any number of things, from making his favorite dinner to pole- dancing for him. Go to the video store and pick up his favorite movie, or wear the dress you know he likes. Buy him an item for his collection or something that goes with his hobby.
He’ll love you for it, and showing his appreciation could easily lead to really showing his appreciation, especially if you let him know you are willing.
#5 Give him “The Look.”
You know the one. That look you perfected back in your swinging single days when you could eyeball a hot guy from across the room and have him headed your way in a blink. Pick the right moment, a quiet time when you have his attention and the time to follow through with it. Then just look him right in the eye, with that little smile and the “come hither” expression.
This carries us right back to the first tip, letting him know you want him. Say it with your eyes. If he doesn’t get it at first, then try again. Men are easily led, especially by their nether regions, so just as soon as he realizes that you want him to want you, he’ll be all over you.
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OK, first off - Regardless of how charming, witty and handsome you are, you won't get a girlfriend if you smell or don't keep yourself clean. So hygiene should be something that is well taken care of before you even get to the stage of approaching a girl. The better you look, the more confident and more relaxed you will be. So make sure that personal grooming is high on your agenda. Showering or bathing regularly with some men's toiletries will keep you feeling fresh and smelling gorgeous. Make sure that you brush your teeth and if necessary use a mouthwash to eliminate any bad breath. It's always handy to keep a breath freshener spray or some mints in your pocket, just in case. Many guys have a certain style that makes them look grungy or shabby but regardless of the style you want to portray, make sure your clothes are clean and fresh. If you feel you are overweight or could do with some toning up, it wouldn't hurt to join a gym. Apart from the health benefits, you may just find yourself a girlfriend in process!
Sometimes the pressure of not being able to get a girlfriend becomes overwhelming. The question of "how can I get a girlfriend" takes priority over everything else and before we know it, desperation is setting in. This is the last thing you want, as there is nothing more off putting to a girl than a desperate guy. Girls don't want a guy who 'tries' too hard or smothers them with requests to do things for them, especially when you've only just met. You see, girls need to be able to relax around you, feel comfortable, laugh, giggle and be themselves. How can they possibly be themselves when you are not being yourself? So the first thing to do, is take the pressure off yourself. Stop focussing on "HOW" to get a girlfriend and think more about YOU, Think about what you enjoy and what activities or hobbies you would like to share with a new girlfriend. What sort of conversations do YOU like to have? What sort of things do YOU know a lot about? What would YOU like to know more about? These are the sorts of things that will come up in conversation and will quickly determine not only if the girl thinks you're right for her.... but whether or not that girl is right for you! Once you are comfortable with yourself, you are more likely to make a girl feel comfortable around you, increasing your chances of getting a girlfriend.
Approaching a girl may sound easier said than done depending on who the girl in question is or where you are. What I mean is, if you see the same girl each day at the bus stop, then striking up a conversation is going to be far easier than say, in a club, with loud music and strobe lights. So depending on the environment you find yourself in, will depend on the approach that you use. You don't want to approach her if she is deep in conversation with someone else, is trying to concentrate on something or seems stressed. Try to find a time when she appears relaxed and you can easily gain her attention. In a club setting, asking to dance is a great way of introduction, eye contact and flirting may seem easier in this environment than any other. However, a club is probably where you will get her phone number or set a 'date' for another time. If you are approaching say "the girl at the bus stop" you will want to start a conversation and this can often seem scarier than the nightclub setting. Try to talk about something that she will find interesting.... for example, she may be holding a book, gadget, have a dog etc. Asking a question is a great way to get someone to engage with you. Be sure to use a question that won't warrant a one word answer. You might say "excuse me, is that the new iphone you have there? How are you finding it?".... "Or what a cute dog, what breed is it?"...Or even simpler "what do you think about this weather we're having eh?" There are many different questions to ask to begin a conversation - maintaining the conversation can be a bit trickier. Introduce yourself as an afterthought, like "oh sorry ... by the way I'm Martin!" If you feel confident you can offer a handshake. Hopefully she will respond by introducing herself to you. Whichever way the conversation goes, you should remain interested at all times, nod your head appropriately, keep eye contact and don't be afraid to say you've never heard of something, or to ask for clarification. People often love to talk about themselves or something they know a lot about and if you're nervous, then the more she talks, the less you have to. If things go well through the introductory stage, you may feel confident enough to ask her out or at least exchange phone numbers, so you can ask her out later. At this stage, you may not want it to appear like a "date" even if that is exactly what it will be. So its best to suggest something like, "do you want to grab a coffee?" or " Are you doing anything on Saturday? I'd love to talk some more - say lunch?" Whatever you suggest, make it casual at first, you don't want to scare her off with an intimate dinner for two at a fancy restaurant when she doesn't even know you yet. Suggest somewhere that you can both get to know each other and chat some more in a relaxed environment.
Assuming that you have succeeded in asking her out "casually" and she has accepted, then this 'first date' is usually the make or break as to whether she will become your girlfriend. Everything we have discussed up until now will be coming together in a much more intense way so make sure the first 3 steps are taken care of.
Assuming all went well on your first meet up contrary to what you might think, there is probably even more pressure on date number two. The second date does not necessarily mean she's in love with you, it means she wants to get to know you better or hasn't quite made up her mind about you. Therefore your second date should be exciting! This is your chance to show her how charming and romantic you can be. Perhaps you could greet her with a small bunch of flowers (unless you think that's too cheesy for you). Many girls like to feel that little bit special so make an effort in some way. Even if you buy her a book you thought she might like or the CD of a group you discussed during your first date. Show her you have a thoughtful side and have gone out of your way to impress her. Take her somewhere interesting and new that you think she may enjoy but make sure that afterwards, you take her somewhere romantic for dinner and drinks. She may insist on going dutch but if you can afford it, its nice to offer to pay on the first "romantic" date, if she objects, you can always suggest she pays next time. This also leaves the assumption that there WILL be another date which is always good. Again, as before, make sure to compliment her and try to encourage intimacy by touching her hand or taking her arm. Hopefully you'll both have so much fun together that you'll be arranging your next date half way through this one!