Sunday, 30 June 2013

The Five Worst Questions You Can Ask On A First Date

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The Five Worst Questions You Can Ask On A First Date

On a first date everyone is nervous about how the conversation will go, especially if it’s the first time you’re seeing each other face to face after meeting on a site such as eHarmony.
You want the conversation to flow nicely and be a good balance of each of you speaking about yourself, asking questions about the other and listening and showing interest. To get this balance right, it’s important to know what kind of questions and topics to avoid. Here are the top five worst date questions:
What was your last relationship like?
1Steer clear of any questions related to previous partners or break-ups – though you may be curious or genuinely interested, this is really not first date territory. You don’t want to be too intrusive.
Do you believe in God?
Don’t ask questions that are very personal such as how much money they make or what their religion or beliefs are. These kinds of questions are ones that you might go into after you’ve met up a few times. Getting into a debate or heated conversation could easily topple into disagreement or, worse, an argument.
Do you like me?

Do not ask him or her what they think of you, if they are attracted to you, or if they like you as a person. This will immediately make you appear insecure and needy. Besides, you can often gauge whether someone is having a good time from their body language or eye contact.

Nor is it a good idea to ask how you compare to previous partners of theirs – this is a question that will make them feel uncomfortable and put on the spot.
How many people have you slept with?
Again, this is too personal and far too soon. Asking about sexual partners could make the person feel incredibly awkward. A first date is all about flirting and as soon as you start talking directly about sex, your allure will disappear.
You don’t want to come across as somebody who is just looking for a casual encounter if you are actually looking for something long-term.
Do you have any pets?
Questions like this are unimaginative and boring, and to be honest, it will seem like you’re really scraping the barrel. Try to think of more open, creative questions that will engage your date and make them want to speak about themselves.
Instead of asking ‘do you listen to music?’, for example, you could say ‘what’s the best gig you’ve ever been to?’
What do I ask?

Stick to questions that your date will feel comfortable and happy to talk about, such as what they do for a living, their friends and family and their interests.
Remember not to bombard them with questions – this is not an interview. Just relax, speak confidently about yourself and listen and show interest in them. By handling the first date well and knowing what to say, you won’t scare away potential partners with whom you could have something serious.
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