Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts

Friday, 7 August 2015

9 Great Reasons to Love and Cherish Your Body Right Now

People who struggle with weight will always talk of depressing days and other times when they feel less than human being due to a part of their body they aren't happy with.

Weight issues is always one of the most discussed topics among people. People who struggle with weight will always talk of depressing days and other times when they feel less than human being due to a part of their body they aren't happy with.

Jolie Brownell of All Women Stalk lists reasons you shouldn't worry about your weight and love yourself better than anyone else:

Being unhappy with your body isn't going to change it right this minute!: Even if you do want to change your appearance, it’s not going to happen overnight. And while I totally encourage you to meet your goals, constantly harping on how much you hate your current body isn’t going to help. Instead, try accepting what you have and then working towards what you ultimately want.
Big or small, the people who truly love you will continue to love you no matter what you look like!: If someone needs you to look a certain way before they can accept you, drop them. The people who truly matter will love you no matter how many stretch marks line your boobs.
Appearances eventually fade!: Looks are not forever, just like life. Let’s make the best of what we have right now. You will always be beautiful at every age, including the age you are now...so LOVE your beauty!!
Society's standards of beauty are meant to be tested!: As Jes Baker says, “…we are taught as a society that IF we achieve the ideal body that we see in traditional media (and not before) we will then obtain love, worthiness, success and ultimately- happiness.” We should be taking charge of our bodies and changing the impossible standards Hollywood has set for us and creating our own happiness. YOU decide what’s best for you. Don’t let this idea of an “perfect body” trick you into feeling like you’re a lesser person because you don’t have it. Which leads me to number 5….
Everybody is a perfect body!: Is your body alive? Is it allowing you to read this article? Yes? Then you have a perfectly fine body. There is no such thing as one version of a “perfect body.”
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!: If there’s one thing being on the Internet a lot has taught me, it’s that there truly is something out there in the world for everyone. Think no one will find you sexy because you’re a size 24? Wrong. Think no one will ever find you butt cellulite attractive? Wrong again. Think there’s no way on earth that anyone anybody could find your itty bitty titties appealing? Uh-uh. My point is that the definition of what’s beautiful/sexy/hot is different for everyone. Don’t hide yourself because your definition is different than someone else’s. Salma Hayek also explains how though they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, "it is the realization that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places others would dare not look...including inside ourselves!"
Your confidence, sexuality and happiness depends on it:When you love yourself, it shows – your confidence will radiate, and you’ll be an all-around happier person. Life goes by really fast; don’t spend all of it being unhappy about what you look like.
You'll miss out on some of the best moments of your life:If you spend so much time obsessing over what swimsuit makes you look the best that you miss out on going to the beach, what’s the point? Don’t let your fear of what others think about your body dictate your life.
You are more than what you look like!: When you die, no one will stand up to eulogize you and say, “Her thin thighs and perky tits will be forever missed.” They will talk about what kind of person you were – your kindness, your warmth, your generosity and tenacity. They will talk about your accomplishments and your drive and how they’ll miss your laugh. Remember that the next time you’re in the dressing room, staring at those swimsuits. You’re more than just a body.

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Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Women Don’t Wear Makeup To Impress Men

by Chelsea Fagan

Amongst the various comments I receive on my gender-centric articles — aside from my personal favorites, “What a cunt” and “You just need to find a good man” — I am often told (with what I like to imagine are good intentions) that I should just stop caring what men think when it comes to dressing up. The idea, it seems, is that women are mostly keeping a man’s opinion in mind when they put on their makeup, style their hair, or wear an attractive outfit. And beyond all of the women who aren’t even interested in men sexually in the first place (or is dressing for another woman’s eye an equal sin?), few assertions about women’s inner workings could be further from the truth.

I recently addressed the idea that there is a firm reward system in place for women who put themselves together in a feminine, clean, well-styled way. And while there are certainly positives in terms of male sexual or romantic attention, the encouragement we face to look more “put together” extends far beyond how we are perceived in the dating market. Going to work with natural hair, a bare face, and simple clothes is often perceived as inherently unprofessional, and part of our preparation for the workplace includes transforming ourselves to fit a more strictly defined standard of beauty. Our voices are palpably dismissed or passed over when they are not accompanied by the kind of face that people are eager to look at, or the kind of style which is just the right level of palatably feminine.

Image result for professional woman dressed for the office

There are clear pressures to be beautiful in a way that could easily be interpreted as catering to the male gaze, which actually have nothing to do with attracting a mate. Many of our beauty ideals were indeed formed in the interest of being sexually attractive, but now are deeply reinforced everywhere from strangers’ reactions on the street to opportunities at the workplace. Often, the act of “dressing up” for a woman is merely an act of assimilation and resignation to the idea that she has to do so to get ahead.She cannot go into a boardroom, or a meeting at her bank, or an open house to purchase some property unless she is looking aesthetically pleasing in just the right way. Many of them would choose to be far more natural if they had the option, but they know that the way they are perceived hinges enormously on how much effort they put into their appearance.

Of course, there are also women who, like myself, simply enjoy getting dolled up. I rarely leave the house without styled hair, a little strategic makeup, and a relatively coordinated outfit. However, I work at home, I rarely have important meetings that require looking a certain way, and I am not in the market for finding a date. (Hate to disappoint you, sexist commenters, but my beliefs about my gender have nothing to do with the boyfriend I’ve had for years now. I am not simply waiting for that one good penis to convert me from all of my whiny, dick-needing ideas.) I would likely face no immediate repercussions from being more casual. And no matter how many partners have told me that they are either completely neutral about how dressed-up I am, or even prefer me more natural, I will never give up on wanting to look like a Pretty Pretty Princess just for myself.

Why do I do it? Why put in the effort if it’s not going to immediately benefit me in some tangible way? Because it makes me feel fucking awesome! I literally feel like a Princess, and enjoy it just as much as I did when I was a little girl putting on my mom’s dresses and lipstick and bouncing on her bed in front of the mirror. I like experimenting with different looks, trying new things, and making myself feel like a new person with a few simple changes of style. It’s fun, and a great way to express myself. Sure, it’s nice hearing people compliment me on something, but I still feel just as good about it even when I don’t run into anyone. I sometimes get dressed up when I’m staying home — it’s raining out, and I’m feeling kind of down, why not put a fun outfit together as a quick pick-me-up?

And that might be what is most threatening of all in all of this. Whether it is the woman who gets dressed nicely to go out because she knows that her career options might be hindered if she were perceived as “less professional,” or it’s the woman who puts on beautiful clothes and makeup simply because it makes her feel good about herself, none of this has to do with what a man thinks about her body. It is so much more simple to say, “Stop caring what a man thinks, ladies, you’re beautiful as you are,” than to address all of the myriad reasons why that likely doesn’t apply to her. It allows you to still wield that important role of “Telling a woman what to do with herself because you assume to know the reasoning behind her actions,” and allows you to feel like a savior without actually having to address any of the real societal structures that are causing the problem in the first place.

Assuming that a woman is fretting over a man when she gets dressed in the morning is condescending at best, dangerously sexist at worst. And it ascribes a huge part of her autonomy to the passing interest of an imaginary man that she likely doesn’t care about in the least. But it’s easy to do, because it perpetuates the perception of us as flighty, desperate girls who are simply breathless over a man’s approval on her appearance. To accept the idea that makeup might never have been about a man in the first place — that means you actually have to address femininity as something owned wholly by the woman herself, and that is far more unpleasantly complicated.

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Saturday, 10 August 2013

How to Stack the Deck in Your Favour When Dating Online

How to Stack the Deck in Your Favour When Dating Online with Fish2FishDating

In a couple of previous blogs I got some very interesting comments extolling the dangers of online dating and how dating online couldn't be trusted and how wrong it was...also what was more interesting was the response to another blog which I posted suggesting approaching dating with the right attitude, where a particular commenter argued why there was any need to change.

This is interesting to me because one of the things that I have a strong interest in is "personal development". I have learned from books, course, common sense and personal experience that attitude is everything. In otherwords if you want to something to change then you have to do something different than before. In fact there are 2 statements that were told to me and that is:

you can't solve a problem with the same thinking that got you into the problem in the first place
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Now to some of you the above statements are obvious but please still remember them as you go about your day or when you think about an issue you have in front of you. Not just to do with dating either.

My story is I started dating again 18 months ago last year, I was a little surprised by how simple dating sites now were. Also I was surprised at how little help there was on these sites to help people use them effectively to get dates. I had previously been under the impression it was all "done for you" and that you just told them what you wanted and they delivered a list to you and you just got the girls on a chat or emailed them and did your thing. Well that was my experience with the site I'd selected anyway.

New Approach

I was excited but I also knew from bitter experience from the relationship that had just ended (interracial) what I didn't want. I believe that angle of approach worked out to be an advantage because as long as the connection I made didn't "feel" like it was x, y and z or going in that direction then it was a good start. On the list of what I didn't wants wasn't anything to do with beauty, or size or skin colour to give you some idea, it was all do with the attitude and respect and values they had in relating to me. I knew that looks would come into it but as you'll see from the 3 states or outcomes from making a connection that wasn't something to worry about.

I used the ideas here and they worked. Yes, within 3 month after signing up with a dating site I met a girl and after 1 year we were living together, enjoying and appreciating one another. She was physically the opposite of me. Starting with the fact I'm black and she is Irish and white. I'm slim she's not so slim, I'm 1.75m and she is about 1.5m tall but we communicated beautifully and it just worked. Although we aren’t together now, that initial connection did mean something as we still continue to text and communicate to this day.

Right let’s get down to what I believe is an effective angle of approach in dating, as I said earlier the date site I was on was not very helpful at all, they just kind of left you to it and you had to figure it out for yourself. I know some people found this frustrating and even quit the site looking for greener pastures on another date site that was better and more expensive. They got frustrated there too. I believe the reason was is that their attitude never changed and so they did the same thing that they did on the first site, on the second site and got the same results...sound familiar?

Here's what I learned

All dating sites are pretty much the same. In fact a lot of them use the same databases hence my girlfriend wasn't actually on my dating site at all but was obviously fishing in the same lake or database when we met.

You have to be honest and positive in everything you post on the site, which includes your profile, your correspondence with others as well as your "dating diary" entries. Yes, our site had somewhere you could post things for others to read.

There is No Try

What you give is what you get. If you sat round the outside and waited for a night on a white horse to arrive that’s all you would ever do...wait! Those that had the most fun acted and did something. I saw people older than myself having a great time sharing funny stories and jokes everyday on the dating diaries. I also saw a few people simply moaning every day and that's all they ever did. Crazy really as they diary could only be read by guys and not fellow girls so they just came across as difficult and to be avoided - Which is probably exactly what happened to them until they quit.

The big idea of a dating site is to arrange face to face meetings with people that you felt you might have a good connection with. Again this probably sounds obvious. But I was out having fun with almost a date a week (no it wasn't me, I was always asked by girls) I would be asked by girls if I'd like to meet them after they'd chatted and even talked on the phone to me for a time.

Here's the thing though, I would more often than not say yes, and the other thing which I think was smart, was that I always showed up and as best I could, on-time too. Because my attitude was good and positive in all the correspondence I’d had with all girls, in the end I would was building friendships with lots of women I considered friends. Some would ask my opinion on their situation.

Release Your Inner Goddess

One woman I recall had been chatting with a younger guy for months but never got to have a date with him for one reason or another. I told her carefully that I get the feeling that she didn't join the dating site for "SEXting" she joined because she wanted to go on a “good to honest date” with a guy the way it should be. After I said those words I could almost feel a relieving sigh come from her. I advised her that she should contact him and do the alternative close of "I think that we kind of know a fair bit about each other now and so I think would be good if we get together and meet up. I'm free on <this date> and <that date> which day is good for you?

I told her that if he then does a “porky pig” impression and it sounds like he's making excuses then give up, move on and talk to someone else. In fact she should have been talking to lots of people anyway. Get some self-respect back and engage with the world. A few days later she told me she had been a bit scared but she did what I asked and he had "hummed and hared" so she blew him out and went fishing again, found someone else to talk to but now with the new confidence. She then using the alternative close in a natural manner, to booked a date and was excited, not at all anxious about meeting this new guy, as now she had reveal her inner goddess!

Online dating is not where it starts and finishes. It is merely a way to market yourself and others to market themselves to a bigger pond or lake with more fishes. I know "market" sounds a bit cold or clinical but isn't nature like that sometimes in the animal kingdom?!

You can fish in a pool with more fishes than just your neighbourhood dance, local nightclub or bar. Besides if you don't want in a few years to be complaining that your husband or wife is always hanging around in bars, maybe an idea to look for a partner in less artificial environment.

You Are in Control

You are in control and the same as in the offline life you can have three situations - you like them and chat and arrange a date, or you become friends and maybe meet anyway as friends, or if it's not clicking you ignore them. Absolutely no different to people you meet in everyday life and before there was anything like online dating in the first place.

People can get so hung up with the idea of online dating but all it is a way to filter out the people you have no connection with or interest in, so you can possibly choose to meet the good you are interested in. As the pool is pretty large and because of marketing to a "targeted" audience, in other words they are looking for people to meet, it's a great place to start to filter.

Never worry about dropping someone that doesn’t appeal to you. They're going to be lots of others if you keep up the positive message output. Again remember "some are going to be friends, others dates and others ignore. That's it - PERIOD!

Stressing over again, do put up honest profiles and photos and don't be scared to talk about the things you enjoy. Also don't do the daters shopping list approach where you putting down huge shopping list of what you want in a guy or girl. If you do you ain't gonna get a very good response. Most people have a lower self-image than the reality. Check it yourself...if someone stated they wanted a "pretty, highly attractive girl" would you know what they meant or if you qualified? If you say you want someone with a good sense of humour and the terribly clichéd line "enjoys the finer things in life" (what the hell does that mean) you will get lukewarm responses, and for the same reason if you say you want someone handsome like Brad Pitt then there are not that many guys that think they measure up. However if they thought they did then they would also be looking for an Angelina Jolie so that is no help to you (unless you are like Angelina of course). Put down what you enjoy and you what you like doing. If you have a certain type of humour try to include it in the profile text or dating diary if you can, therefore if that doesn't put them off you can be sure they're likely to be attracted by your profile or diary and all your you-ness!

Repeat the above over and over with a positive attitude. Don't get hung up on looking for the ONE. From experience there are lots of ones. The pool is huge it's up to you now to filter out who are friends, dates and people to ignore.

Fish2Fish Founder - Colin Robergtson
Dating tips and concepts that work

That's basically it for now. After I found my ONE I decided to pass on my experiences (and knowledge) with others and eventually created Fish2Fish Dating to allow people to put things into practice with my help being available for them everyday to get positive results where previously they'd had been dating for months without any success. With what we teach at Fish2Fish is how to put fun and excitement in to corresponding and connecting with prospective dates then actually going on a date.

Please feel free get in touch if you have any questions about the info here.

All the best...

Colin J Robertson - Founder of Fish2Fish Dating

Friday, 7 August 2015

9 Great Reasons to Love and Cherish Your Body Right Now

9 Great Reasons to Love and Cherish Your Body Right Now

Related articles:

Amazing body confidence inspiration to remind you that you’re gorgeous

5 Scientific Reasons Why You Should Sleep In Your Birthday Suit

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