Online Date with Fish2Fish: death

Thursday, 25 February 2016

5 Signs Your Deceased Loved One Is Nearby (And Still With You)

"Grief doesn't magically end at a certain point after a loved one's death. Reminders often bring back the pain of loss.

I can relate to some of these points, how wonderful it is to hear your loved ones voice in a dream. Let us know if you have experienced any of these signs." - Susan

WEHEARIT

5 Signs Your Deceased Loved One Is Nearby (And Still With You)

Spooky. Comforting. A little bit of both.

It's hard coping with the death of someone you were close with. I don't even need to tell you that, I'm sure. We've all lost someone. It's a harsh reality of life. But even though they're physically gone, they can still be near us from time to time. These are signs your deceased relative is still with you.

1. You suddenly smell them.

When the spirit of a loved one is near, it can manifest in a number of ways. One of the more common ways is scent. The way someone smells is often the strongest connection to them. It can be the smell of pipe tobacco or perfume, or even the odour of your favourite food being prepared. Appreciate it. It's a message being sent directly to you.

2. They appear in your dreams.

Our subconscious minds are more open to the spirit world, often allowing them to come in. Dreams involving spirits tend to be incredibly realistic and not very dreamlike. Pay close attention to what they might mean. It could be a message from beyond the grave.

3. Your items randomly go missing.

It can feel like you've lost your mind when you find items have been moved from the place you know you left them. It could be a dead relative or friend playing a joke on you. It sounds silly, but just because they're dead doesn't mean they've lost their desire to screw with you. Laugh it off.

4. You have unusual thoughts that aren't your own.

You may experience having thoughts that don't feel like they're yours, almost like your internal monologue has been co-opted. If you feel like you've had a foreign thought, take some time to think about it. Especially when your inner monologue starts talking to you as if it isn't you.

5. They show a presence at their own funeral.

According to James Van Praagh, a renowned psychic, our spirits attend our own funerals. They roam the room, trying to comfort their loved ones and give them signs that everything is OK. Often, because people are so absorbed in their grief, these signs go unseen. When attending a funeral, stay open to the signs they offer.

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Wednesday, 26 August 2015

How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex, Death and Everything in Between

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com

How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex, Death and Everything in Between

While some topics are hard to discuss and might make you uncomfortable, that doesn’t mean your children need to be sheltered.

I lie to my kid constantly. I tell her the store is closed in the middle of the day, when I don’t want to go. I will say, “I have no idea where that chocolate cookie went,” when I know exactly where it went — in my mouth. I’ve even been known to suggest that there are magic green beans, and if she eats enough of them, she might grow into a giant with fairy wings.

Knowledge is empowerment. Even though some topics are hard to discuss and might make you uncomfortable, that doesn’t mean your children need to be sheltered. When kids express curiosity in a subject, there is a way to talk about these issues in an appropriate and upfront way, yet not crush their innocence in the process.

When my 3-year-old asked me how babies are made, I told her. I didn’t go into graphic detail, but I answered her questions honestly. After hearing the information she took a minute then asked, “So you know Sally that goes to my school? So her dad put his penis in her mom’s vagina? Then sperm came out, and got all scrambled with her mom’s eggs, and Sally lived in her mom’s tummy until she was born from her vagina? That’s happened with all my friends?”

Did I consider that maybe my daughter would tell little Sally about her dad putting his penis in her mom’s vagina? Not until that moment. Sally’s mom and dad might have frowned upon me, but guess what? It didn't happen, so I can still go to PTA meetings with my head held high.

Same-sex marriage was a 30-second conversation that went like this. “So boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls? That means some kids get to have TWO MOMMIES!? They are so lucky!” Now all her My Little Ponies are gay-married.

Death is a huge part of life, and if we hide it from our kids, we set them up for a major existential crisis. The more you fear death, the more tortured you will be by the inevitable fate of us all. I live on a farm, so we have a lot of firsthand familiarity. First off, I have a cat who is most likely part of a cult. She brings us mice after ceremoniously eviscerating them, and then strews their body parts across the house creating a variety of mandalas. This has ignited many talks about the circle of life, and how all creatures eventually die; that death is nothing to fear, but a reminder to appreciate life. My now 5-year-old will peacefully play next to a mouse head, and wait patiently for me to find rubber gloves to cart away the carcass.

Every year we house baby turkeys who eventually become Thanksgiving dinner. After a few years of holding the tiny birds, my daughter decided she didn't want to eat turkey anymore. She is making her own informed decisions about consumption through her actual experiences. I am not enforcing any value system, but rather exposing her to the reality, and she is free to make her own choices.

We have talked at length about drugs and addiction, because I think any parent who doesn’t exclusively feed their child bark, deals with the obsession with sugar. What does it mean to crave sugar? Why does she always want ice cream when she is bored? What is it she is trying to fill with that kind of stimulus? We have conscious conversations about these issues, because many of us spend our grownup lives looking for outside substances to fill the void. How do we find balance between enjoyment and excess? Sugar is the first drug kids experiment with, and for most of them, it won’t be the last. The earlier we start asking these questions, the sooner we can dissect and understand our own motivations. I’m not saying she can never indulge, but it’s important to have awareness of what’s driving that desire.

My daughter and I talk about politics, police brutality, racism, global warming, the extinction of animals, and more. She is forming her own opinions of the world through my disclosures of reality. She believes humans who hunt endangered animals should go to jail, Wall Street should be less greedy and learn to share, and policemen need to remember their job is to protect people and not hurt them. Her solution for discrimination is to remember that we are all one family of people, and she is perplexed by sexism — although she is kind of sexist herself because she believes boys are yucky. The most socially aware and active adults are the ones wh o are knowledgeable and have a clear understanding of their worldview. Why not start when they’re young? You’d be surprised by how wise your kid is. Like mine, who has unequivocally concluded that sex is just plain silly.

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