Your Mental Health

Your Mental Health

Good mental health is one of the most important aspects of general wellbeing. It should not be ignored or thought of as a taboo subject. At some point in life most people will face a challenge with their mental health and it is important to have the right information and tools to help deal with these, whether it be stress, anxiety, depression, a pre-existing problem, a medical condition, grief or family disruption. This is an overview of the most common conditions affecting mental wellbeing.

 Tips for good mental wellbeing

• Learn how to minimise and manage stress and anxiety.
• Talk about feelings. Don’t be afraid to admit something is wrong.
• Know where help and support is available.
• Notice signs and symptoms early.

How do hormones fit in?

Hormones have an effect on all women’s lives. They influence all aspects of life from puberty, pregnancy and birth to the menopause. Hormones are thought to have a role in PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome). Also the change in levels of hormones as women get older due to the menopause can also affect the way women feel about life and influence mood and emotion.

Stress and anxiety

Stress and anxiety are often interlinked and two of the most common factors affecting mental health. It is important to be aware of how to manage these if they occur. Left unresolved they can lead to further problems and possibly depression.

Anxiety is a described as a general feeling of unease. Stress is described as the body’s response to events or demands that cause tension, concern and in some cases anxiety. It is normal to feel anxious or stressed from time to time especially if faced with a stressful or frightening situation. However, if this lasts for a long period of time and interferes with ‘normal’ life then this is considered as severe.

Symptoms of stress and anxiety:

• Lack of concentration
• Change in appetite
• Sleeping problems (insomnia)
• Loose stools or diarrhoea
• Dry mouth
• Palpitations or fast heart rate
• Shortness of breath
• Difficulty swallowing
• Shaking
• Headaches or muscle pain
• Feeling irritable or angry
• A feeling of being out of control or being detached from surroundings

• Feeling anxious about everyday tasks or functions and needing to control these
• Dependence on alcohol, drugs or any other substances or actions in order to function
• Lack of libido- sex drive

Tips for self help and treatment

• Identify the cause. By doing this strategies can be put in place to try and reduce and manage the stress or anxiety.
• Talk about it. Sharing these feelings can often help
• Try and make changes
• Excercise regularly
• Make time for sleep and relaxation
• Have a regular balanced diet
• Minimise caffeine, drugs, cigarettes and alcohol
• Try and have time away from the trigger

Seek help from a GP or healthcare professional who can assess and offer advice and will refer on to a specialist for counselling and management tips if needed. In certain circumstances medication maybe also be considered.

Depression

Depression can be devastating for women and their families it is a genuine illness, but with the right support and treatment most people make a full recovery. More women suffer than many people imagine. It is more than just a feeling of being sad for a few days. It is a persistent feeling for weeks or months, even years. There can be many triggers such as: severe stress and anxiety, grief, relationship difficulty, illness or a significant change in circumstance. One of the most common life events that can trigger it in women is pregnancy and birth.

Symptoms of any type of depression can include:

• Persistently low mood
• Sadness
• Feeling of inadequacy
• Feeling in a ‘dark’ mood
• Feeling alone
• Guilt
• Lack of energy/fatigue
• Insomnia- not sleeping
• Change in appetite
• Weight loss/gain
• Reduced ability to concentrate
• Anxiety- feeling anxious
• Irritability
• Loss of connection with society or family
• Anger
• Suicidal thoughts

Tips for Self-help and treatment

• Exercise regularly
• Make time for sleep and relaxation
• Have a regular balanced diet
• Minimise caffeine, drugs, cigarettes and alcohol
• Family/friend support- if possible, try to engage socially with an extended network
• Think about a new hobby or activity
• Talking about feelings to a partner, family or friends
• Cut out or minimise caffeine, drugs, cigarettes and alcohol

Seek help from a GP or healthcare professional who can assess and offer advice and refer on to a specialist for counselling and management tips. If needed, medication maybe considered.

Other mental health conditions

There are many more mental health conditions that can affect women like Bi-polar disorder and schizophrenia. These are also more common than many people imagine and there are many misconceptions about these conditions. With the correct treatment and support many people with these conditions can live stable lives. 

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Acceptance Provides Foundation for Love

By Carol Secord 

With the encouragement of St. Valentine, during February I often focus more on relationships and love than during other months.
 I believe acceptance is the foundation of love. Only if and/or when we can accept others, as they are, with all their pluses and minuses can we truly love them and relate lovingly with them.
 This applies to spouses, children, friends, co-workers and even humanity in general.

Therefore, I was very interested to read of “acceptance therapy,” in the book, “Reconcilable Differences,” by Andrew Chistensen and Neil S. Jacobson. The psychologist/authors describe how couples can use “integrative couples therapy” to resolve their differences.

It is a self-help approach which boils down to learning to truly accept one another as we are, without the struggle to change the other.

Basic to this concept is the fact that we cannot actually change another person.

Certainly, change can take place for individuals and in relationships, but not through criticism and coercion by another. Yet many of us go through internal as well as external conflict in our desire to change others.

The expectation that they should change is the opposite of acceptance.

Applying the acceptance concept within a relationship can result in giving up expectations and conflicts based on non-acceptance.

In the process, the relationship can be greatly improved as the stress of conflict is decreased.

I was counseling a couple who were considering divorce.

When I asked what the problem was, they each enumerated a list of petty criticisms of the other.

Taken individually, each of the points mentioned was minute.

As I jotted down their complaints, one by one, I could see that not one of them was worth the stress they had been experiencing within the relationship. The problem was that they had each piled new non-acceptance upon previous ones, until their marriage was truly endangered.

A stress management book, entitled, “Is It Worth Dying For?” suggests that as individuals we may be killing ourselves as a result of the little things we allow to stress us.

This principle is just as valid when applied to relationships. So I asked the couple if their list of little irritants was worth allowing the relationship to die.

Deciding to accept one another as we are, without the expectation of change, can relieve the stress of conflict, allowing respect and love to thrive, rather than to die.

It would be ideal if all relationships started out with the basic attitude of acceptance and then maintained that as little faults and irritants are revealed.

However, too many people observe differences in others which they interpret as faults and erroneously believe they can change them. When that doesn’t work and additional differences are observed, the lists of petty details may indeed kill the relationship.

Perhaps this is most clearly seen in coupleships, but the concept is just as valid in family relationships and friendships.

How often do we allow little criticisms to get in the way of respect and love?

Turn off the criticism, through acceptance, and you’ll experience non-judgmental love.

Instead of expecting or forcing change, we can accept each other’s differences and appreciate our individuality.

And that acceptance can make all the difference!

Why don’t we all make this a focus for February?

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