I’ve been taking Salsa lessons for about a year now, and the thus far the experience has been as enriching and as it has been humbling.
In addition to teaching me a lot about my strengths and weaknesses, it’s inadvertently (re)opened the eyes of the 40-something singleton to some truisms (if only in my mind) about dating. Specifically…
1. Sometimes You Need to Let the Leader Lead:
If you’ve ever taken any salsa or any type of ballroom dance for that matter, you know there are leaders (males) and followers (females). For many women, especially us independent single lady types, learning to follow can be the toughest part of mastering salsa.
On the dance floor failing to let your lead take control is always a bad thing. Fortunately, things on the dating scene are a little more nuanced. Still, stepping back, especially at the beginning of a new romance, to allow your guy to set the pace of how fast or slow (FML!) your connection builds is generally a good idea for at least two reasons. 1) It gives you insight into how into you he is; and 2) sets you apart – in the most alluring of ways, trust – from the ‘Insert-any-man-here-who’ll-put-a-ring-on-it-STAT’ types, clamoring to get the attention of any and every eligible man within a hundred mile radius. That’s a win for you on both counts.
2. Finding the Right Lead Takes Time and Effort:
+Sadly, all leads are not created equal, and few of us are lucky to find an exceptional partner the first time we step onto the dance floor. Any salsa dancing woman worth her salt knows cutting a rug with a variety of leads – however good or ‘m’eh’ they might be – will not only help to make you a better follower, but also a better dancer in your own right. And it’s much the same with dating. While you wait for your prince to finally show up, spending a fair bit of time hanging out with some frogs is likely to make you a better and decidedly more discerning dater.
3. Dress for Success:
Though it may be more practical to show up in your jeans, a t-shirt and your snazzy new flats to dance the night away, donning a hot outfit and some heels will definitely get you more attention from any potential dance partners. Of course, more attention means more dances, or in the case of dating, more dates. And more dates = more chances you’ll meet your very own Mr. Right – sooner than later. BONUS!
4. Wallflowers Stay Losing:
Sitting on the sidelines has never made anyone a better dancer, or I’m guessing, gotten anyone a date. So, get in the game folks! Whether we’re talking dating or dancing, if you don’t put yourself out there – there being anyplace where your perfect match may show up (be it the dance floor, local bar or on an online dating site) – you’ll never, ever win.
5. If at First You Don’t Succeed Try and Try Again:
Great dancers are built not born. As with dating, every salsa newbie committed to achieving greatness knows the old Japanese proverb, fall seven times and stand up eight, is a rule to live by. Well, the same goes for all you single ladies out there, looking to meet a great guy. So, once you’re in the game, you need to stay in it – over the short (if there is a God) or long haul – to find the man of your dreams.
Now go out and ‘break a leg’ in the dating (and dancing) trenches, ladies!