"Treasure the love of your life because life has a habit of throwing a curve ball and one day they may no longer be with you". - Susan
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Treasure The Love Of Your Life
We have all had one; that truly amazing love. The love of your life is considered a soul mate, the person who completes you. Unfortunately, most of us don't end up with that person, mostly because of ridiculous mishaps, or because we fail to realise or accept the way we really feel about them.
A lot of people manage to find their true love in high school or college and they grow together, creating an unbreakable bond. Often, we associate our first love with our true love because that person may have been with us during a time in our lives where we experienced the most changes. The time where our own beliefs, opinions, and ideas develop.
We can't help but feel close to that person because those partners had the most important influence during the most crucial development period. Despite the connection we may feel, we inevitably separate from that special someone. Most of the time, it is bad timing.
A lot of my friends always say "If only I had met him when I was in my 20's, I would have been able to handle everything." We meet the right person usually at the wrong time. This isn't always the case though, and those who meet their true love when they are a little older and more mature often end up with them forever. It's funny how we have to sometimes suffer through terrible relationships, to truly appreciate a good one when it comes along.
Why are we so stupid?
But most of the time, we end great relationships prematurely. Are we stupid or do we consciously end a relationship with the person we are supposedly meant for? It's probably a bit of both. It's important for us to make a distinction between a great relationship, and a relationship of habit. Bad relationships are a fact of life, great ones are precious, and are often taken for granted until it is too late.
We all spend our lives looking for love, but rarely finding it. We can love someone, but we are hardly ever in love. Most of the time, we learn to love our partner simply because we are with them for a long period of time. The love most couples have is equivalent to the love we have for someone we care about, not someone we are necessarily passionate about.
We fall madly in love with someone, we revolve our lives around that person, but somehow it never works out. Men (and some women) often break up with loved ones, while they are still in love with because they think there is someone else out there who is perfect for them. Women know that Mr. Right doesn't exist and that no guy is perfect, yet they can't help but always wonder whether their boyfriends are the one . The same applies to men, though men tend to be more blasé about it.
Some of my girlfriends claim that they're in love with their current boyfriends, yet they continuously talk about some other guy that they had a passionate affair with or long to be with. I tell them to follow their heart because there are enough loveless relationships in the world. The genuine love of your life is the one that makes your heart beat a little faster, the person you are constantly trying to impress, the person whose voice you need to hear, the person you do the little things for. But most importantly, it is the person you feel complete with. It's not a Jerry Maguire cliché; it's the truth. You will only realise this when you feel that way about someone, for the first time.
Avoid the checklist
There are a few people who do end up with their soul mates. Those are the lucky ones. The rest of us end up with people that meet enough of our criteria. A few years ago, a male friend of mine was madly in love with his girlfriend, to the point where they were months away from getting married. Then she did something stupid, nothing major, just annoying enough to bother my male friend. He then did something back to her, upsetting her of course.
A week later, it was over. Five years down the drain. The stupid thing is that they are still madly in love with each other. They are both too proud to get back together. In the meantime, each has gone through numerous relationships with no meaning and no love. But their example is an exception to the rule; most people would end the 5 years with each other's picture as a dartboard target.
My advice is simple for all the men out there: if your current girlfriend is the love of your life (and a person can tell if they are or not), then never let them go. Forgive when you have to, stand up for yourself when you must, but don't ever let petty problems end the relationship. Chances are that you will have a very hard time finding someone else like her. Cherish her like a diamond (it's a woman thing), and most importantly tell her how you feel. Men communicate, trust me.
If you are dating someone, but your heart still longs for another woman who is perfect for you, simply tell that perfect woman. She might have mutual feelings. If you don't try, you'll never know. If she doesn't feel the same way about you, you are in the exact same spot you were in before; but if she feels the same way, you will be one of the lucky ones who gets his princess.