Showing posts with label love yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love yourself. Show all posts

Sunday, 5 March 2017

Low Self Worth – 5 Steps to See Yourself in Better Light

Nobody should have low self worth but the sad thing is many of us do.  How are we expected to get out there and meet new people and possibly life partners when we don't see ourselves as the worthy unique human beings that we are?  The crazy thing is that even the most confident, intelligent,  beautiful people you know all have had low self esteem doubts at some point in their lives.
                   So all you people out there with low self worth try this exercise:  Next time you walk past somebody make  a point of smiling at them.  Yes I know 'its hard' I hear you say, after all they might not smile back! and if they don't big deal are you likely to see them again? look at it this way, they might just be having a bad day and are just not feeling sociable.  
But trust me when they do smile back you will feel good, and that feel good factor is FREE and you can get it anytime you want.  TRY IT !!!!...........   Susan





Low Self Worth – 5 Steps to See Yourself in Better Light


It’s hard to see the good in yourself when you have low self worth, but the truth is, you’re so much better than you think, and it’s time you realise it!

In a world where how you feel about yourself is so important, it is disheartening that there are so many ways that your self worth can be reduced down to nothing.

If you look at the magazines while you are in the grocery store, you are bombarded with mixed messages. Some magazines plaster their covers with why you should love yourself and how to build confidence, while the magazine right next to it tells you how to lose 10 pounds quickly or how to pleasure your man. Some magazines even have the audacity to put both of these headlines on the same cover!

While the media may be a large contributor when it comes to low self worth, it isn’t the only culprit – nor are females the only victims. Guys suffer from low self worth too. It’s just that guys are taught that you cannot show any sign of weakness and more often than not, that cockiness some guys exude is just a show.

What can cause low self worth?

There are many factors that can harm your self worth, things that happened in your childhood like bullying, punishments, neglect, and even abuse. These factors can be detrimental to a child’s growth, but the effects can be felt all the way into adulthood. Just think of instances where you didn’t live up to your parents’ expectations as a child, and every now and then, you catch yourself doubting your choices as you go through life.

Like many people, you may have had a very good childhood and didn’t experience the typical troubles that could damage your esteem. But as we grow up, we still can face other factors that can hurt our self esteem and self worth.

These factors could be anything from comparing yourself to others your age, financial and social situation, unemployed *or having a job you do not like*, or coming out of a bad relationship where you were abused, either mentally, emotionally, or physically.

No matter the situation or experience, if it leaves you questioning your worth and your purpose in the world, it is damaging your self-esteem and making you feel inferior to others. 

Why is low self-esteem harmful?

Self-esteem is as important to our well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness. -Louise Hart

Dr. Louise Hart, a psychologist who specializes in parenting techniques to help improve the social, emotional, and mental health in children, couldn’t have said it better. You wouldn’t go to Ikea and purchase a table that had crooked legs, so why should you go through life with a sub-par sense of well-being?

Low self-esteem can wreak havoc on your physical health as well as your mental health, as these two go hand in hand. For example, how many times have you started a diet and you do well for a few days, but when you cave in and have that milkshake or a decadent piece of chocolate cake, you feel guilty. Instead of forgiving yourself and understanding that weight loss is a difficult journey, you beat yourself up so much that you just give up because you feel that you cannot do it *this is coming from personal experience*. When you give up eating right, you may also give up exercising and this only makes things worse.

When you have low self-esteem, it makes everything feel so much more difficult. You don’t believe in yourself and you cannot see yourself the same way others see you. How many times have you been out somewhere and had someone approach you with something nice to say, only for you to be skeptical and dismissive? 

If you have low self worth and self esteem, it’s hard to see the good in yourself and you do not believe *or understand* the compliments you may receive. Who knows how many opportunities you may have missed out on, all because you don’t see yourself in a positive light! Sadly, if this consistently happens, people may begin to see you in that negative light, too.

5 Steps to change how you see yourself

One of hardest parts of changing the way you see yourself is admitting that you do experience low self-worth and recognising that you are worth the effort that is necessary to change it. More often than not, people with low self worth have grown so complacent that they are afraid to change because they may think it will be too difficult.

While it is true that it the road to having good self worth and knowing your worth is paved with challenges and setbacks, it is not impossible! Here are a few ways to begin the transformation and recognizing that you are someone who deserves happiness.

Step #1 Accept yourself for who you are. As a human, we have flaws and weaknesses. There is no one person that is perfect, and it does no one any good to compare themselves to someone else. When you are trying to improve your self worth, it is important that you recognise this and accept it. You have to come to terms with things that may have hurt you in the past and your flaws, without beating yourself in the process. 

Step #2 Say “bye-bye” to the voice in your head. It is easy to call yourself names when you do something stupid. How many times have you called yourself an idiot because you forgot something or you did poorly on an assignment?

While we may not think that this is harmful, it actually is. It makes you feel bad about yourself and it reinforces low self worth. Instead of calling yourself stupid, change your thinking to remind yourself not to make the same mistake twice. They don’t say you are your own worst critic for nothing, after all.

Step #3 Use positivity instead of negativity as motivation. Too often, we’ve been conditioned to respond to negative criticisms to give us the motivation to change. For example, let’s go back to those magazines that tell you how to lose weight. Those articles are usually accompanied by gorgeous people, and while it may not be the intent of these magazines to make you feel bad, it never fails to when we read these articles to compare ourselves to those models. Instead of comparing yourself to those models, tell yourself of the benefits of the exercise regimes and the healthier meal options.

You need to focus on the good things that will come from being healthy, like having more energy, feeling more comfortable in your own skin, etc. These positive comments to yourself will help you feel more confident and boost your self worth because you are recognising that you are worth the effort to change.

Step #4 Appreciate who you are and where you come from. This is a simple exercise that you can do anywhere. Once a day, close your eyes and ask yourself, “What are three things I like about myself?” The way you answer this question is entirely up to you.

It can be as something as simple as the choice of the outfit you are wearing that day, or it can be that you donated some time to a social cause. It can be anything.You could go one step further and write these down every day in a journal, and then periodically go back and read through them.

It will help you realise that you are a good person and that you do good things. The more things you can write down, the better you will feel when you go back and read through the journal. 

Step #5 Be kind and generous toward others. Perhaps one of the easiest ways to raise your self worth is by being kind toward others. When you do nice things for others, especially when it is unexpected, their gratitude can make you feel amazing.

For myself, I always hold the door for others or if they have only a few items to purchase, I let them go in front of me at the checkout. While these are very small things, they make me feel good because the person is *usually* grateful, and it’s always nice to be rewarded with a genuine smile. There are so many ways that you can be kind to other people. You will find that it is a rewarding experience and it’ll make you feel incredible about yourself!

When you believe that you can make people happy or that you control your own life and future, your self worth will grow with each new day, and you will start to believe that you’re more deserving of your own love and respect. 


View original article here:


Previous articles:



Fish2FishDating.co.uk

Friday, 27 November 2015

You Don't REALLY Know Yourself Until You've Gone Through Hard Sh*t


"Do you know the real you?  I don't think I know the real me.  I have been trying to work this out over the past sex years and still don't know. I find its so easy to keep comparing the now to the past, should I still be that person? Life is scary, our parents, teachers, culture, society and the media provide us with a narrow band of ‘acceptable’ ways of how we should be, and when that doesn't conform it our mind, we panic and hide behind the mask of the person we think society will accept.  Showing our flaws and even to some extent  what we class as our  good points can be a terrifying thought.  We seem to  believe that if we came out as our true self we may not be liked, loved or well thought and its the idea of losing these precious things that keeps our masks firmly in place.
Who said life was easy?   TAKE OFF THAT MASK!!!!!"   -  Susan





You Don't REALLY Know Yourself Until You've Gone Through Hard Sh*t


Think you know who you are? Your future self disagrees.



Whether it's divorce, quittin' the hooch, or something as scary as cancer, it's these life-altering curve balls that help you come to a place of truly understanding your sense of self.

And if you've never experienced anything catastrophic, well, you may not know who you are.
Recently, I left my wife of eight years and found myself trying to figure out how to go about life in a very unfamiliar way. After sharing a life with someone for a number of years, so many of my daily routines, belief systems and stress relievers were suddenly thrown into the air like a deck of cards in the wind. 
My once placid days quickly turned into me arduously chasing after these shambled, scattered cards to try and make the deck complete again. The small things came easy; the bigger issues that took a bit more time.
I really had to stop and think: What do I want for my life now that I don't have to plan it around another person? 
Decisions like, "I want to start a business!" (I do? Yes, I do!) "I want children!" (holy shit, I do?!) and "I want to be with someone again."
That last one was big considering I had just come out of an eight-year marriage. But I woke up one morning and decided that I wanted to love and be loved. Call me a p*ssy, but it really was as simple as that. A conscious decision was made; a redefinition of self through hardship.

Right then and there, I became different. And the funny and unexpected thing? I finally felt like I was becoming more myself then I'd ever been before.
The loss of a spouse is just one of a billion things that can force you to redefine yourself. Just a few weeks ago, an old high school friend came to visit me in Nashville and filled me in that he'd quit drinking after 12 years. He divulged to me that his addiction had become so bad that he hadn't gone 12 hours without a drink in over eight years.
"How are you handling it?" I asked.
"I simply started to teach myself how to do everyday things, sober," he replied.
With most of his days starting after the fourth or fifth drink, he felt as if he was re-learning how to be himself. In fact, this re-learning phase morphed into a redefinition of his current identity. He was forced to ask himself: Who will I be once I've learned to live sober?

Then take my friend Jess. In her early 20s, Jess was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. Overnight, she went from a healthy, vivacious woman to facing her own mortality. 
Although I was across the country when she started chemo, I was (and still am) an avid reader of her blog, cheering her on to remission. Little by little, I could see her change almost week by week. It seemed the things she once valued to be "important" became trivial as her battle with cancer progressed. 
Jess's priorities completely changed and she became Jess with Cancer instead of the fun loving, carefree Jess I knew. I'd like to think that this journey she's on is only just a stage, and that soon she'll have her chance to reshuffle that f*cking deck, again. Only this time, the cancer card won't be included.

In the end, having the courage to walk away from something —or maybe having the courage to face it head-on —is just the first step in a journey of self-exploration and self-definition. 
We humans pride ourselves on our identity, but what I've learned is when faced with things like addiction, sickness, or a wounded, bleeding heart, these evolving and unpleasant truths truly unravel your sense of self. 

Who you will become is not who are you now.

Previous articles:
Fish2FishDating.co.uk

Friday, 30 August 2013

10 Easy Ways to Gain More Confidence

dating advice

BUCK UP, SISTER!

10 Easy Ways to Gain More Confidence


SIT WITH YOUR THOUGHTS

Andrew Appel, creative director for Beyond Success Consulting, says it's easy to gain confidence. Sometimes it's as simple as daily silence and meditation. "Find a technique that works for you," he says. "Take some time each day to quiet your mind and senses so that you can develop more control over your thoughts and interactions." Sitting with your thoughts will help you gain clarity -- that way, you won't be so stir-crazed and your self-esteem will rise.

FIND YOURSELF

Knowing who you are and what you stand for can also help give you more confidence. "Identify your unique creative expression," Appel suggests. "Ask yourself, are you working in a job that truly represents what you feel you are here to do in this world?" If not, perhaps it's time to start thinking about how you could move towards your true passions in life, Appel points out.

DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

As you focus on the passion in your life -- the things that inspire you and give you happiness -- it's also important to stay focused on you, says Lloyd Princeton, a motivational speaker, business coach and author of Marketing Interior Design. "Do not compare yourself to other people," he adds. "Set the bar for yourself based on your abilities and desires and constantly strive to improve based on that bar."

ROLE PLAY

"One can also literally work on non-verbal behaviors, such as body posturing, facial expression and eye contact in order to improve the feeling of confidence," Rego says. He often instructs his patients to take a confident walk around town, using the non-verbal behaviors mentioned, and see how they feel and how people respond to them, compared to how they normally would walk around. "I also have them imagine someone they already see as confident, and act like that person for an hour or so, and then see the results." It's like practice!

STAND TALL

"Stand straight. Shoulders back. Head up," instructs Pamela Gilchrist, author, speaker and president of Gilchrist Group, an international award-winning business and communications firm. "This immediately increases your presence in any setting." Gilchrist also reminds people not to shuffle or slouch. "Walk and sit with authority. If others think you have it, you do."

NEVER LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF

"Eliminate negative self-talk," Gilchrist stresses. "Replace with themes such as, 'I am good enough, I am successful, I am loved.' Gilchrist recommends reading Melody Beattie's book, The Language of Letting Go. If you believe in yourself, others will, too.

CALM YOURSELF

UCLA psychiatrist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Judith Orloff stresses you should calm down your stress hormones in order to stay confident. "Eliminate or avoid people and situations that induce the stress response in your body, which speeds up your pulse and mimics the feeling of fear, lowering your confidence," she suggests. "These include caffeine, sugar and other stimulants, as well as emotional vampires or people who drain your energy and make you tense to be around, traffic jams and arguments." Keep the negativity out of the way and your positive energy will radiate.

HYPNOTIZE YOURSELF

OK, that sounds a little strange, but Michael Ellner, a certified medical hypnotherapist, believes it will work. "Self-hypnosis is easily learned, rapidly effective, and, once learned, is always available for use," Ellner says. "Imagine a slice of lemon; see it, smell it and imagine picking it up and hearing yourself tasting it -- I bet your imaginings produced a sour taste and digestive juices. In the same way you can easily learn how to use your memories of soothing sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches to signal your mind and brain to produce a sense of ease and confidence." All you have to do is imagine and/or remember the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches that are associated with a past experience in which you were feeling at ease and very self-assured. "Apply those feelings of ease and confidence to new social situations by simply thinking, 'This is going to be fun,'" Ellner instructs.

Feeling free

LET GO

"After all this is said and done, let go and trust life's process," Appel advises. "Life is what is happening while you are making other plans. Things will never unfold exactly as you intend, so be willing to be flexible and adapt to changes and circumstances as they come about." Your ability to go with the flow and be comfortable with changes will give you more confidence, too.



LOVE YOURSELF

It's as easy as that. Gilchrist urges, confidence comes from within -- loving yourself will give your personality the wow factor. Okay, so don't be overly confident and love yourself so much that you become a narcissist. Keep it to a healthy minimum. "Know that you are worthy, special and one of a kind," she concludes.

View the original article here

Fulltime income from home

Other related articles:

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Meet The Most Important Person In Your Relationship

Meet The Most Important Person In Your Relationship

We'd walked the walk in our previous relationships and now we get to talk the talk in our next one together.

This maybe complete baloney, but possibly we have to see things as they can be and maybe not how our lives appear to be or might be interpreted as right now. Lift your faces up. Walk tall. After all “What you give is what you get”. Give love. But first start with YOU! Fall head over heels in love with yourself!

Why?

Cos’ you are the most important person in your world. Not your kids, not your grandkids, not even you new boyfriend!
It all starts with YOU!

How does that work?

Simple when you think of it logically "Why should anyone else love you if you can't even see that you're worth to love even yourself?


It would be like you owning a horse and entering it into a race and wondering why nobody else actually puts any money on it, after seeing that you hadn't put any money on it yourself. Well in relationships it’s the same. People will put the same amount of value on you as you give yourself.

I’m not talking about pretending to be a big shot and looking down on everyone (that is quite the opposite if you think about it). I have tried to explain that it's like having your own special, magic water well of love inside of you. You feel you are abundant and special and want others to feel the same so you find it is your calling and duty to easily give love away without fear or care of it ever running dry. You can then “give of yourself” and keep giving. But what also happens is that what you give is what you receive. So it just goes on and on. Also here’s the secret too, you might find that you give to someone and you actually never get anything back. When you feel abundant you have real value and you're not affected. What do you care, you have so much you just keep giving and giving without a negative thought and simply keep giving.

They say “you can’t feed the hungry with an empty cup”! You have to feed/love yourself first. If you’ve ever had to pump water from a well, sometimes it takes a good few cranks to get anything because like some wells it has to have some water in the system in order for it to work. It’s the same for us we have to prime the pump first. We have to have love for ourselves to in order to give it. For some of us it’s not easy and we're cranking away but nothing is coming. Some guys would quit as this point. But it’s in there, within you. Just keep cranking. We all have a fully working well, it hasn't run dry, it just needs to be primed. 

Keep pumping it’s in there and you're worth it.




Colin J Robertson


  

Popular Posts