Wednesday 12 February 2014

5 Steps to Freedom | How to get over someone

How to Get Over Someone You Love | 5 Steps to Freedom

There's no sugar coating it, being in love with someone when they no-longer love you back is one of the worst feelings in the world.

Ideally when you break up with someone you will both feel that the relationship has come to a natural end but that doesn't always mean letting go is easy.

Holding onto something that can only hurt you and stop you from moving on just isn't worth it and although how to get over someone you love might seem like the impossible question, there are answers.

We've asked eHarmony’s relationship advice expert Jules Filsell to give us her five steps to getting over true heartache.

Step 1. Lady sings the blues

The feeling that you experience after a break up is horrendous, no question.

But don't think that you're being ridiculous, those feelings of anger, sadness, denial and grief are all totally normal.

However, instead of trying to ignore them or beating yourself up about feeling sad, the best thing you can do is to just go with them...

Don't be afraid to cry hysterically, make your way through five tubs of Ben and Jerry's or consume a few too many bottles of wine - whatever works for you, just don’t bottle your feelings.

Step 2. Don't torture yourself

The problem with a messy break-up is that you’ll never find the answers you’re really looking for.

You fantasise a million different situations as to why he has broken your heart like this.

Maybe he's just too stressed with work? Maybe he just needs some space to breathe?

Don’t waste your time soul searching over why the
relationship ended, texting him for his thoughts and wondering "was it something I did?"

Face up that it’s over, and look to the future.


Step 3. Cut it out
The only way to get over someone is to try and live your life normally without constant reminders of them around.

That means a bit of a cleanse (it's tough
love time):

          Cut all ties with him - no phone, no Facebook, no communication, no excuses!

          Stop reliving your relationship with your friends on the phone. Thinking about the ‘good ol’ days’ won’t help.

          Removing all reminders of them from your home, car, and work space. That includes the little passport photo of him you keep in your wallet.

If you can’t bear to throw things away, put them in a box, tape it up and hide it somewhere hard to get to - preferably guarded by three headed dogs.

Step 4. Rediscover your single side

It’s a cliché, but it’s true - when you enter into a relationship you leave behind bits of your single life.

Although some aspects might be best left in the past, there will be some things that you will want to reclaim.

Time to get that
haircut you always wanted but he didn't like, blow a shed-load of cash on outrageous shopping sprees and get back to doing the things that you put on hold for him.

Start saying 'yes' to every opportunity that comes your way - if you used to turn down work
drinks to be with your other half, now is the time to get out there and mingle.

This will
help on two levels - you’ll be reminded that being single can actually be a really great thing, plus you’ll be so busy that all thoughts of “him” will disappear.

Step 5. Take your time

It’s been said that the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone, but frankly, we disagree.

The quickest way to feel even more miserable is to sleep with someone you’re not really interested in.

Ignore your friends and their “helpful” advice, and make sure that you move on at your own pace.

If you want to take a break from the opposite
sex for a year then so be it. And equally if you want to get right back out there you have to do what feels right for you.

No one should judge you or push you into meeting someone new sooner than you’d like. The only person who can make you feel better is you!

View the original article here

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