How to Be Not Terrible to Your Significant Other’s Roommate, as Told by Cats
How to Be Not Terrible to Your Significant Other’s Roommate
Congratulations! You are in a relationship and having lots of passionate love-sex now. You spend every night together. You can’t stand to be apart. Which is great — for you two. But for your roommates, it is not great. Here’s how to be the best possible semi-permanent overnight guest.
It’s awkward because you’re there largely for the sex-having, the roommate knows it, you know they know it, and they know you know they know it. But they are still a person, with opinions about things like the weather, Game of Thrones, and drone strikes, so talk to them.
Living in a place costs money. You aren’t paying that money, so you don’t get to live in that place. Presumably, you are living in a different place, and you guys should go there sometimes, and annoy that roommate. Alternately, do move in, and pay rent.
Most things are forgiven if you occasionally show up with a case of beer and pasta primavera for everyone. Cherry tomatoes, cereal, grapefruits, tofu, and beef are also appreciated. Also, Scotch. Also, toilet paper.
We’ve all done it, but that doesn’t make it right. You and your boo share food and that is fine and adorable. Stealing their roommate’s food is not fine and not adorable, even if you are real hungry. If you can’t control yourself, at least replace it.