12 ways to be romantic
By Christine Webber, psychotherapist, and Dr David Delvin, GP
Whenever we conduct surveys on sex and relationships, people tell us that they want more romance. Of course, sometimes they are desperate for more love and frequently they’d like more sex too.
But romance is something that adults seem to crave. Women tend to want to be romanced to get into a sexy mood. And men are often deeply romantic – all too often they regret the fact that romance is disappearing from a long-term relationship.
Here are our top tips for keeping romance alive.
Whenever we conduct surveys on sex and relationships, people tell us that they want more romance. Of course, sometimes they are desperate for more love and frequently they’d like more sex too.
But romance is something that adults seem to crave. Women tend to want to be romanced to get into a sexy mood. And men are often deeply romantic – all too often they regret the fact that romance is disappearing from a long-term relationship.
Here are our top tips for keeping romance alive.
Celebrations
These can be great romance-boosters, but they can also be difficult. At times such as Valentine’s and Christmas, restaurants tend to be full - and our high expectations are often dashed by poor service or overcrowding. As for birthdays, we hope they’ll be perfect, but they often disappoint us.
One way to get round this problem is to celebrate the night before a big day. So, go out on February 13 or have a candlelit dinner the evening before a birthday. This means the celebration is well under way by midnight and can set a happy, romantic tone for the whole day ahead.
One way to get round this problem is to celebrate the night before a big day. So, go out on February 13 or have a candlelit dinner the evening before a birthday. This means the celebration is well under way by midnight and can set a happy, romantic tone for the whole day ahead.
Flowers delivered to the office
Most women not only long for romance, but want romantic gestures to be visible to other people – especially their friends and colleagues. So if you’re sending a large bouquet for Valentine’s, a birthday, Christmas or just to say ‘I adore you’, send it to your beloved’s place of work. She will love you for it!
Surprise your man
Men often say they would like to be on the receiving end of romantic gestures, instead of always having create them.
Many guys would doubtless appreciate a large bouquet. But what is more guaranteed to hit the spot is a single red rose that he can either wear as a buttonhole or put in water by his bed.
Many florists will send single roses. And there are plenty of companies who will send a single rose of any colour in a presentation case.
Many guys would doubtless appreciate a large bouquet. But what is more guaranteed to hit the spot is a single red rose that he can either wear as a buttonhole or put in water by his bed.
Many florists will send single roses. And there are plenty of companies who will send a single rose of any colour in a presentation case.
Tea and sympathy
We all have tough days, whether we work outside the home or in it. And that’s when we need a bit of kindness and understanding from our partner.
A kiss, a cup of tea and a listening ear when the computer is going wrong or you’ve just had a nightmare day with the boss from Hades can feel more romantic than all the candlelit dinners and flowers in the world.
A kiss, a cup of tea and a listening ear when the computer is going wrong or you’ve just had a nightmare day with the boss from Hades can feel more romantic than all the candlelit dinners and flowers in the world.
Carry a photo
Keep a photo of your beloved on your mobile phone. Also, put a photo that he or she likes in your wallet. A photo by the bed or at a work desk signifies commitment and love.
Most of us feel more romantic if we know our partner loves to be able to view us at every opportunity. It’s very affirming.
Most of us feel more romantic if we know our partner loves to be able to view us at every opportunity. It’s very affirming.
Back rub
Often busy couples are too tired for full sex. But the offer of a back rub or neck and shoulder massage is usually welcome.
When we feel tense and anxious, it is very therapeutic to feel the hands of our loved one easing and stroking our body.
Take it in turns to spoil each other in this way. You may even find that it leads to sex and you weren’t quite as tired as you thought you were!
When we feel tense and anxious, it is very therapeutic to feel the hands of our loved one easing and stroking our body.
Take it in turns to spoil each other in this way. You may even find that it leads to sex and you weren’t quite as tired as you thought you were!
Romantic weekend at home
To do this properly, let everyone you know believe that you’ve gone away. You also need to shop for romantic food on Thursday.
Then when you come home from work on Friday, switch on the answerphone and dedicate yourselves to having a relaxing and romantic time together for the whole weekend.
This is like being away - except that you can watch your own DVDs, sleep in your own bed and eat the kind of food you really like. Light some candles, play great music and just chill.
Then when you come home from work on Friday, switch on the answerphone and dedicate yourselves to having a relaxing and romantic time together for the whole weekend.
This is like being away - except that you can watch your own DVDs, sleep in your own bed and eat the kind of food you really like. Light some candles, play great music and just chill.
Take your man away
Women love to be swept off their feet and taken to a romantic destination, but men often cherish a dream to be surprised too.
Trains are now seen as a greener and more romantic option than planes. Also, most guys love them. So why not take the Eurostar to Paris for a weekend? Better still, travel on to other European destinations.
Look at the website The Man in Seat 61 for inspiration.
Trains are now seen as a greener and more romantic option than planes. Also, most guys love them. So why not take the Eurostar to Paris for a weekend? Better still, travel on to other European destinations.
Look at the website The Man in Seat 61 for inspiration.
A day at a health and beauty spa
Women love the idea of being pampered. If you’re looking for a romantic gift for a wife or partner, you’re almost certain to please if you give her a voucher for a health spa or even her local beauty salon.
She should come home after her visit feeling great about herself – and pleased with you. If you don’t know what she’d like, ask her best friend.
She should come home after her visit feeling great about herself – and pleased with you. If you don’t know what she’d like, ask her best friend.
Fill the bedroom with flowers
This is a gesture that either gender can make for the other. Obviously, there are some times in the year such as Valentine’s Day when flowers are too expensive to do this.
But in late spring, you can buy loads of bunches of daffodils quite inexpensively. And in the summer, all sorts of flowers are plentiful.
Don’t put them in vases. Just scatter them on the bed and the floor. If things go well, you’ll end up making love on the flowers - so the blooms don’t have to be perfect or long lasting.
For obvious reasons, avoid anything with thorns - ouch!
But in late spring, you can buy loads of bunches of daffodils quite inexpensively. And in the summer, all sorts of flowers are plentiful.
Don’t put them in vases. Just scatter them on the bed and the floor. If things go well, you’ll end up making love on the flowers - so the blooms don’t have to be perfect or long lasting.
For obvious reasons, avoid anything with thorns - ouch!
Watch a romantic film together
Some cinemas put on classic movies for Christmas or Valentine’s or to celebrate mid-summer. But as virtually every great film is now on DVD, you can create your own romantic viewing whenever you like.
If you need some ideas, there are numerous websites listing romantic films and you’ll find you are spoiled for choice. Then open a bottle of wine and a box of tissues, cuddle up on the sofa and enjoy.
If you need some ideas, there are numerous websites listing romantic films and you’ll find you are spoiled for choice. Then open a bottle of wine and a box of tissues, cuddle up on the sofa and enjoy.
Keep special places unique
All our other tips are about things you could or should do, but this one is a warning.
Never, ever take your beloved to a location – especially a hotel – where you once went with a previous partner. It’s madness. Each couple should have their own special places that are unique to them.
Never, ever take your beloved to a location – especially a hotel – where you once went with a previous partner. It’s madness. Each couple should have their own special places that are unique to them.
No comments:
Post a Comment