A Simple Trick Successful Online Daters Know
I'm surprised no one's refreshed a certain classic '80s hit with a modern update. "Online Dating Is a Battlefield" would do well on iTunes, don't you think? Here's one secret that can make online dating easier: Put way less effort into your messages, says OkCupid cofounder Christian Rudder in Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One’s Looking.
I picture successful online dating and think of well-crafted messages a few paragraphs long that prove you've read a guy's profile. Surprisingly, the average message users fire off only comes in at 100 characters. The ones that garner the most responses are even more bite-size, racking up only 40 to 60. I'd be terrible at this since I struggle to keep my tweeting within limits! Even though short messages say less, it can actually be harder to make them seem effortless. Rudder has some advice on that front: Don't overthink it!
"I’m a smoker too. I picked it up when backpacking in May. It used to be a drinking thing, but now I wake up and fuck, I want a cigarette. I sometimes wish that I worked in a Mad Men office. Have you seen the Le Corbusier exhibit at MoMA? It sounds pretty interesting. I just saw a Frank Gehry (sp?) display last week in Montreal, and how he used computer modelling to design a crazy house in Ohio."
This gentleman sent the above to 42 women who were into cigarettes and art. If I received that, it would never cross my mind that he was sending the same exact thing to lots of women. It's a far cry from the suspicious "hey girl u cute" variety that's obviously one of many. This guy got five responses, which doesn't seem impressive until you think about the fact that those replies were from the exact kind of person he was looking for. He got five great matches with relatively little effort and a few strokes of his keyboard. Makes this tactic kind of tempting!
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