Sunday 25 August 2013

10 Reasons Why You Don't Have A Girlfriend

10 Reasons Why You Don't Have A Girlfriend

10 Reasons Why You Don't Have A Girlfriend

If you're single by choice, and doing your thing, that's awesome. We're all for it. But if you've been on the prowl and perpetually come up short and come home alone, it might be time to face some hard truths. 
The dating game is survival of the fittest, and if you're barely scraping by and about to embark on yet another cuffing season solo, you need to evolve. Here's a good place to start: 10 Reasons Why You Don't Have A Girlfriend.

10. You have no ambition.
Making money is nice, and there is a select group of women who place inordinate emphasis on that. We're not talking about those women. 
This is less about how much cash you're pulling in, and more about being an intelligent human being who has dreams and goals. It's sexy when a man is passionate about something, and ruthlessly pursues it. 
If you're complacent, working a dead-end job and being unmotivated to reach higher, it's not just your career that will suffer. Your game will suffer, too.

9. You're a misogynist.
If you're the type of guy who takes a girl out to dinner, and casually drops sexist jokes about how she should be in the kitchen making you dinner instead, you're probably single.
Likewise, if you're the type of guy who begins every date with a sob story about how your ex burned you, and launches into a lengthy monologue about how women are inherently untrustworthy, you'll probably be solo well into the new year.
Women may have reluctantly retired their hopes of chivalry, but they're not willing to give up on finding a man who genuinely respects the opposite sex, and most importantly, actually likes them. So if this is an issue you have, you should work on it. Probably with a professional.

8. You don't take girls on real dates.
A date is a building block toward a relationship. If your building blocks consist of lame dates that inevitably center around alcohol and sex, you're not exactly sending commitment-ready signals.
Wooing a woman is important. It demonstrates that you're the type of guy who will put effort into a relationship, and it expresses that you think she's worth putting thought into. 
Go on sober dates to prove you're charming sans whiskey. Take her on dates during the daytime to show her that sex isn't the goal, it's getting to know her that you're interested in. And while you're at it, introduce her to your friends. These are the things that silently signal you're long-term-material and convince her that you think she is, too.

7. You still drink like a frat boy, and hang with guys who do the same.
In college, it may have been cool to drink on school nights to the point of slurring, but at some point, you need to evolve. If you're still bragging about how many shots you can consume in an hour, your boys may think you're the man, but the women around you will be less than impressed.
If you're on the prowl and three sheets to the wind, you're sabotaging your chances of finding what you want. Women will see you as the perpetual party animal, not the guy she wants to cuddle with on the couch.

6. You reek of desperation.
When women say that they can't get hot for "nice guys," who they really mean is guys who try too hard. If you come on too strong, too fast and inundate her inbox with emoji heavy text messages, you need to dial down the thirst.
Wanting a girlfriend is a perfectly acceptable desire, but it should never dominate your life. Women can sense when you're desperate to wife someone—anyone!—because you emit fear and anxiety, neither of which are a turn-on. It also indicates that you're the type of dude who would revolve his entire universe around someone, which is an independent woman's greatest fear.
Focus on doing you and pursue your hobbies and interests. Build a life that any woman would want to be a part of, instead of trying to build your life around a woman.

5. You're bad in bed.
We hate to say it, but if your game out of bed is strong, you might need to look toward what's happening between the sheets. 
Sex is an important way to connect with a woman. You might have good chemistry with your clothes on, but if you’re missing the mark with them off, it's unlikely she'll want to sign up for a monogamous relationship with you. If she's going to have sex with one person, it better be explosive.
If you've been under the false impression that showing up for sex is enough to satisfy a woman, get your mind right. Put your selfishness in check, and really ask yourself if you focus on her pleasure enough. From her end, the answer is probably no.

4. You have confidence issues.
It all comes back to the way you feel about yourself. If you think your swag is lacking, it is. Women don't want a man with self-esteem issues who needs to be reassured of his worth; they want a man who is fully aware of what he brings to the table and how desirable it is. 
When you linger in singledom against your will, and feel your confidence start to sway, take a step back and reassess the situation. You're a cool guy, and if you're not connecting with someone, it doesn't change how awesome you are. It just means you didn't have chemistry with that particular woman. Shake it off, and move on to the next one!

3. You’re self-absorbed.
The men whom women invariably settle down with all have one thing in common: they make her feel special. If you're failing to inspire this feeling in her, it's probably because you're more focused on your feelings than hers.
Sometimes men are so caught up in impressing their date, they come off as uninterested in the person in front of them. By the time the first date ends, they've rattled off their list of brag-worthy accomplishments, but never took the time to understand what she's about. Take a breather, and let the poor woman speak!
The easiest way to set yourself apart from the self-absorbed schmucks taking her out is to ask her questions and actually listen. She'll feel more connected to you, and you'll actually make it to date number two. It's a win-win situation.

2. You’re looking for girls in all the wrong places.
We're not going to say meeting your next girlfriend at a bar is impossible, because it's not. But, if you keep hitting up the same haunt night after night and it yields no results, or regularly ends in a one-night-stand, your stomping grounds might be to blame.
Think outside of the tired-and-true box. Force yourself beyond your comfort zone. Say "YOLO" and sign up for online dating. Swallow your pride, and ask your friends to set you up with a few eligible bachelorettes. Spend time in bookstores, take a class or join a group to meet women with similar interests. 
Putting yourself out there is the key element here. A bar is the second worst place to meet a woman, after your couch.

1. You don't seem like you're looking for a relationship.
If you've made it to the end of the list and are convinced that none of the above apply to you, it's possible women are interested, and assume you are not. You could be a supremely smooth, very datable dude. But if you're inadvertently signaling you're not interested in commitment, no sane, smart woman will pursue you.
Without even realizing it, men drop subtle hints that indicate their interest and readiness in commitment. But, sometimes miscommunication can happen. Signals get crossed. You think you're playing it nonchalant by not putting too much effort in, and she backs off, assuming you're involved with someone else, or just not looking for the same thing she is.
Sometimes, in an attempt to date defensively, you say you're not looking for a relationship or you're not ready for commitment, when in actuality, you are. Get real with yourself about what it is your seeking, and you won't send the kind of mixed signals that scare her off.

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