Dating the Older Man
Ever wonder why you see more couples of younger women with older men than vice-versa? There is a pretty simple explanation.
Older men are a lot more interesting than younger men. It seems like an overly simplistic answer, but sometimes things just are what they are. It’s really not hard to quantify when you think about it. An older man means more experience and thus more interesting conversation, outlook on life, and a breadth of knowledge that can only be assimilated through real life experience.
Older men exude more confidence, are more respectful towards women, generally speaking, and have a more long-term outlook on life overall. And, if you find the right one, you can expect they will be more amenable to establishing a long-term relationship. The reason for all of this is they have already been through the crap associated with the building of an individual life. Being better established in terms of their education, jobs, and personal growth means they can spend more time working on relationships. On top of that, their life experience gives them the ability to know what they want in life and can make educated choices towards those goals.
Now this is kind of creepy and it bears a little caveat – don’t think about it too long or too hard, but have it in the back of your head and understand it: Older men are indeed “father figures”. There is no getting around it, but it is a valuable notion and can lead to a healthy, balanced long-term relationship. As we mentioned, don’t get too in-depth with the psychology of it, just go with it. There is nothing wrong with dating outside your age range – we love whom we love.
You can expect a lot of the same things dating an older man that you would in dating a younger man. There is no reason to think an older man is going to be any less stylish, lack physical prowess or energy, or will suck in bed. These days men of all ages are steadfastly committed to being healthy in all aspects of their lives, staying fit, and remaining virile well into old age.
There is another very good benefit to dating an older man; almost NEVER will you be a partner and a mother. Older men are not looking for mother types; they are looking for a mate. Unlike younger men who may need a little extra coddling, older men are more interested in sharing experiences.
Older men also tend to be more interested in your individuality and will be less likely to try and stifle it. You can expect fewer battles over nights you may want to spend out with the girls. This is because older men tend to not only just be confident in themselves, but in their relationships and commitments as well.
All men have a wandering eye. That is just fact. However, most times it really is innocent with all ages of men. With older men though, it is even more so. While an older man will indeed check out the goods of other females, they are more likely to appreciate what they have and respect the boundaries of the relationship. Again, it is the experience factor. If they have chosen to be with you, it has been a deliberated and well-thought-out choice and your security in the relationship is almost always assured.
If the man of your dreams is years older than yourself, there can be more to overcome than just a cultural gap between the two of you. And if you want the relationship to work out, you’ll need some help in considering the topics below.
Type of man (high energy / low energy)
Does your man’s energy level match yours? Does he have a motor that is non-stop or does he need an afternoon nap? Realizing what type of physical activity the older man of your dreams has can make the relationship flow more smoothly. You don’t want to make your man feel as if he can’t keep up or that you will tire of his lack of energy and look for someone younger one day.
Sex: what’s in it for you?
Now if you are dating a man who is in his 60s and you are in your 30s, what is in it for you sexually? Are you merely dating a wealthy older man because it’s convenient, or are you truly attracted to him? Let him know what makes him so attractive to you. Perhaps it’s an older man fetish you have, or the idea of being secure and taken care of by a distinguished older gentleman. Whatever it is, let him know. This will alleviate the self-doubt that you are only with him because of his financial status and not because you truly find him attractive.
This is huge. If you want to date an older man without appearing like you are only doing it for the security that comes with dating someone already established in life, then make yourself an asset. Be sure to have your own job, your own career path, and can contribute 50% to the relationship. Now, if you are a housewife or if he has children from a previous relationship that you are going to care for, then that is fine, but try to gain some independence from the older man of your dreams, otherwise relying on him for everything will surely derail the relationship at some point.
Some older men will most likely be very responsible, and as the younger woman you may want to up your responsibility level as well, so he doesn’t feel as if you are just some young toy he can discard once you start acting out. On the other hand, just because he is older doesn’t mean he isn’t fun and spontaneous. Make sure you aren’t aging yourself in order to be more like women in his age range, which isn’t what he’s looking for if he is dating younger. Just be yourself.
Being a looker, not a trophy
This is a tough one, but men who have significantly younger wives may be showing them off as a trophy. You are not a trophy; you are looking for a quality relationship that can give you everything you’ve ever wanted and allow you to give back the same to your partner. Being gorgeous and with a man who loves the fact that his wife or girlfriend turns heads is one thing – being his latest show-and-tell trophy is another.
Merging the cultural gap
Most men love technology, but some men that are older may feel embarrassed with their lack of knowledge when it comes to the latest gadgets younger women may be using like an iPhone or Kindle. This can sometimes lead to a communication disconnect or may harbor self-doubt and jealousy with the older man. Teaching the man of your dreams about the things that you love is a big part in building a lasting relationship.
Keep your options open. Older men: they aren’t just for other women anymore, they just may be for you!