Jealousy in Relationships: Facing your Inner Demons
Questioning social aspects is healthy in any relationship in order to start building trust among both of you. Within time, this factor disappears as true emotional bond settles. However, some individuals pursue this questioning even further and invade their mate's personal life.
The predominant assessment of such action is insecurity. It is the lack of trust upon someone else to respond up to your standards and imagining the worst of every circumstances.
How is this triggered you may ask yourself?
This insecurity is triggered first and foremost by several components of the heart such as the death of a loved one, a failed relationship or a reflection of guilt, all of which reside within the integrity of self-esteem.
These situations often alter how we interpret and respond to any situation in our daily lives. It affects the outcome of our every step we and ultimately our final destination. In this journey whom we acknowledge as life, our surroundings seems to be missing something of importance: an emotional and trustworthy bond with someone we love.
To many, in relationships, jealousy is the chosen emotion to reflect their insecurity that relies within. At first, this perception is a solution that may result as a harmless method but in reality, several individuals have fallen deeper into this dark state of mind.
In today's society, jealousy is indeed a survival instinct and a necessity to any healthy and sane relationship. It reminds partners that they must appreciate one another and integrate themselves in their lifestyle rather than imposing change. It takes efforts of both parties to fully participate in a loving and equal relationship.
However, when jealousy is a predominant factor in your everyday lives, our mental state is affected and irrational and illogical thinking may take over the happiness that resides between this couple. No longer are these individuals overcoming their struggles with efficacity, but rather altering their route to avoid a confrontation from their biggest fears. Trust issues, communication methods and anger management are all elements whom are deeply affected by this insecurity.
''Jealousy is not a single, simple emotion,'' Dr. White said. He defines jealousy as ''a complex of thoughts, feelings and actions which follows threats to the relationship, when those threats are generated by the perception of a real or potential attraction between one's partner and a (perhaps imaginary) rival.'' mentioned Dr.Wright to a source of NY Times.
This problem has become recurrent in our society and causes an enormous impact on the victim . Furthermore, their families, families and their spouses are also greatly affected by this component. It may even become physically and emotionally harmful to their mate.
"According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 49 percent of nearly 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members between 1998 and 2002 were committed against spouses." wrote Christa Miller.
A relationship is solely based on the ability to communicate with one another. Interpretation and listening are critical components to gain knowledge on someone's true identity. Rather than complying with their means, they have hidden their true emotions, consequently the fear of loss, sadness or grief to their loved one remain concealed as what may be perceived as jealousy.
''Clearly, people feel unpleasant when they feel jealous,'' the psychologist Dr.Wright said. ''But in many cases it is natural - it is a safety signal that there are problems in the relationship or with the individual.'' Joel Greenberg wrote.
In the last few years, jealousy has become more and more significant. Consequently, technology and media has seen a greater evolution than ever before. With more resources at hand to monitor information, doubts are easily imposed as the interaction with the opposite sex has become more evident. Facebook, Twitter and texting leave room to a wide range of interpretation and may lead to an unconscious search for factors that may reveal infidelity
"Certain personalities have a tougher time trusting significant others. The technology is simply an enabler of his or her personality issues. Obsessive types will still check someone's phone or accuse others of cheating. " states a source on mashable.com
It has become harder to trust your significant other and to truly acknowledge whether they are telling the truth or not. The media is portraying jealousy and infidelity as acceptable factors in society and within our everyday lives. In fact, such behaviour still ultimately resides as an immoral and a heartless act in the eyes of every partner.
Changing your beliefs and reactions is very difficult but is does not remain an impossible task nevertheless. To address your jealousy, you must not only want to distress yourself from these emotions, but rather face the reality of addressing and imposing changes to your beliefs.
"By practicing a few simple exercises you can step back from the story your mind is projecting and refrain from the emotional reaction. If you really have the desire to change your emotions and behaviour you can do it. It just takes the willingness to learn effective skills" wrote a source from pathway to happiness.
Without doubt will it be a difficult process where hope may not reside in our hearts, but unlike our fears predicted, someone will be there to lend you a helping hand when you fall.
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