When to Have Sex with the Man You're Dating?

Most men spend all of our lives trying to enter back into the place from which we came. There is no place like home base.

It really depends on the woman’s objective. If she just wants to have sex, then it doesn’t matter. But if she is interested in a potential relationship, she needs to wait until she knows him, and he knows her. Time, in this case, is not a determining factor. It could take months before you determine his character and he yours, or it could take as little as one day of long conversation. It depends on how simple or complex the person is. Some people, usually of the older generation, recommend a 90 day waiting period. These days, however, with the advancement of technology and information, it has become much easier to get to know someone more quickly.

So how do you know if you know someone well enough to sleep with him? Do the 7/10 checklist. Make a list of 10 attributes you are looking for in the man of your dreams. If he meets 7 out of these 10 requirements, you have a sleeper. Finding a man who meets 8, 9, or 10 of the requirements on your checklist is not impossible, but unrealistic. However long it takes you to determine if he meets 7 out of 10 of your requirements should be the amount of time you should wait to sleep with him. Keep in mind, however, that if he does not fulfill 7 out of your 10 requirements, he may fulfill them at a later date. If this is the case, wait until that date to sleep with him.

Equally as important, you need to take the time to determine if you fulfill 7 out of his 10 requirements. Ask him what his 10 requirements are (though not on the first date), and see how you measure up. But don’t ask him about his 10 requirements before you confirm that he meets 7 out of your 10. You also don’t need to tell him about your checklist. It’s okay if he doesn’t have 10 requirements – but do remember that ultimately, he is going to be happy with what he really wants, so it’s important to know his requirements.

Another part of this screening process is to make a list of your three dealbreakers – things that you would not tolerate in the man of your dreams. These could include things like drug use, his stance on children, or anything else that you are not willing to compromise on. If he fulfills any of your dealbreakers, do not sleep with him! You will only be disappointed later. Again, this needs to be done both ways. Ask him what his three dealbreakers are. If you fulfill any of them, don’t sleep with him, unless you want to be disappointed later.

A woman has the time between meeting a man until the point they have sex for the man to get to know everything she wants him to know about her. After you have sex, the man’s interest (in your character) is not going to be as great. Your job is to find the equilibrium point between him losing interest and looking at you as a sex object. If you have sex with a man before confirming if he meets your 7/10 checklist, and that you meet his, it is more than likely that the less he knows about you, the more the graph will lean towards him looking at you with sexual desires as opposed to looking at you as a potential long-term mate. The graph will only continue going in a downward direction, to never recover.

If you are looking to find the man of your dreams, follow the 7/10 checklist and don’t sleep with a man before you confirm the 7/10 checklist on both of your ends, or the 3 dealbreakers. Remember, it’s a two way street.

All pilots use a checklist before taking off. It is strongly advised that you use one as well.

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