Online Date with Fish2Fish: Bella Pope

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Saturday, 28 May 2016

What to Text a Guy When You Want to Make the First Move

"A text is both personal and impersonal and unlike letters of love it’s instant and once it’s sent you can’t go chasing the messenger to try and get it back. So think carefully before you press that SEND button" - Susan

What to Text a Guy When You Want to Make the First Move

Making the first move for a girl can be scary! If you want to know what to text a guy you like, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s all you need.

Gone are the days of waiting for a man to approach you and make a move. Women are becoming more and more confident in their abilities to ask a man out when they want to. Women are the ones making all the first moves nowadays and I have to say, it rocks!

However, even if you’re a confident woman that has the guts to make the first move, it can still be kind of scary. Something that makes this a lot easier is doing it over a text message. While some people may be against this, I’m not.

What to text a guy you have your sights set on

With texting becoming the primary means of conversing with someone, it only makes sense for you to make your move via texting – especially if the two of you already have a nice dynamic going. But the trouble is finding just what to say so he knows how you feel without scaring him away.

I have a lot of experience texting guys when I like them and making the first move and I have a lot of male friends who have divulged exactly what they’d like to get over a text. Before we get to what to text a guy when you want to make the first move, we should first go over some texting ground rules.

Rules of texting

It might seem like you should be able to just text them whatever you want whenever you want, but there are some unspoken rules of texting a guy that you should know about before diving in for the first move.

#1 Never send multiple unanswered texts. Nothing screams “CLINGY” like sending text after text when he hasn’t even replied yet. I get that you’re eager to talk to him because you like him, but this makes you look desperate.

#2 Never text him after 12am. Some people may know of these other unspoken rules, but this one might be new to you. I say you should never text a guy after 12am because most guys take that as a booty call sign – something you most definitely don’t want to be seen as if you’re looking to date him.

#3 No sex-talk. You can most definitely be flirty and fun without having to talk about sex with a guy. While you may get his attention this way, it will be the wrong type of attention overall and you won’t have a good chance of actually dating him.

#4 When he says he has to go, don’t text him. This is a big mistake that most girls make and it comes off super clingy in the eyes of a guy. When he says he has to do something and can’t talk anymore, don’t send him texts while he’s away. If he has his phone on him, it’ll be really annoying and if he doesn’t, it’ll be overwhelming when he finally does look at his phone.

#5 Don’t let the conversation die. Conversations that go flat quickly never result in a good relationship. In order to text a guy when you want to make the first move, you have to keep the conversation lively, but never forced. Think of topics to talk about and if you find something he seems chatty about, stick to it for a while.

Now, WHAT to text a guy

Now that you know what to avoid when texting a guy, we can get to the good stuff. When you want to make the first move over a text, here’s what to text a guy and why it works.

#1 I’ve got a bottle of wine, a great movie, and no one to keep me company. What are you up to tonight?This text would be perfectly placed when he asks you what you’re doing tonight. It’s perfect because you’re not being too blunt, but you’re also letting him know that you don’t have company and want some, and that you’re ready for a relaxing evening.

#2 I’ve got two tickets to this amazing concert. Are you busy this weekend? If you really want to go for a fun first date and feel pretty good about your chances of him saying yes, then go with this text. You don’t have to say that you specifically bought the tickets for the two of you, but just saying that you have two and asking if he’s free during the concert time makes him aware of the fact that you like him.

#3 Hey, what do you say you and I go out tonight? This text is particularly useful when he says he doesn’t have any plans for the night or even if he says his plans fell through. It might be last minute, but if he already planned on going out, he should be up for it.

#4 I like you. Let’s get coffee sometime. Straight and to the point. A direct approach is never a bad idea when texting a guy when you want to make the first move. Honestly, I think most guys like it better this way – or so they’ve all told me. It takes the guesswork out of the whole thing and flatters them, too.

#5 You know, I think we would have a lot of fun together. This one is a little more vague and works especially well for shy people who feel confident that the guy also likes them. It’s not outright asking him on a date, but it is putting the notion out there that you’d like to go on a date given the opportunity. The ball is now in his court.

#6 You’re a lot of fun through texting, but how much fun are you in person? Guys are competitive creatures. If you hit him with this text, it’ll seem like that much more of a challenge for him. He’ll definitely want to prove to you that he IS just as fun in person and you’ll get a date!

#7 There really isn’t anyone else that I like talking to this much. This is a really sweet text that will definitely make him smile. Not only will he be flattered, but he’ll also get the hint that you’re into him. Hopefully he’ll feel the same way and this text gives him the opportunity he needs to ask you out.

#8 So, there’s this party I got invited to but I think it’s going to be pretty lame. Do you want to come with me so at least there’s one fun person to hang out with? It may seem counterproductive to ask someone to go with you to a “lame” party, however, this really does work. You’re flattering this guy by not only inviting him, but also saying that he’ll be the only fun person at a lame party. It gives him incentive to go and you’re also revealing how much you like him.

#9 What do you say we take this great conversation out to eat? If you two are having a really great conversation and you’d rather be in person, just send him this text. As long as he’s not busy and you could be ready pretty quickly, this is a perfect way to go from texting to in person easily and without too much hassle.

#10 You know what, let’s go out sometime. I think it would be a blast. Another very direct approach that doesn’t put too much pressure on a guy. When you’re having a fun conversation with him, just throw this in mid-conversation. You’re clearly stating that you would like to go out with him, but by avoiding the word “date” you’re making it less formal and easier for him to agree to.

Knowing what to text a guy can be one of the hardest things. Luckily, we have all the texts you’ll need if you want to make the first move.

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Saturday, 23 January 2016

15 Reasons Why Your Ex Still Texts You and Stays in Touch

"There is nothing wrong with staying friends with an ex, but it depends on the situation, if an ex continues to contact you, either hear them out or block them. If the ex finished the relationship to go after another relationship then I would suggest you ignore them, chances are they are only contacting you because the relationship they left you for has finished. However if you finished on mutual terms and are happy with the relationship then hear them out". - Susan

15 Reasons Why Your Ex Still Texts You and Stays in Touch

Getting over someone is hard and confusing without their continuous stream of texts. Here’s why your ex just won’t stop texting you.

When someone says they don’t want to date you any longer, that should be it, right? So why is your ex always texting you out of the blue just for some small talk? Honestly, it’s annoying and can make getting over them and moving on that much harder.

Even if you were the one to break things off, it’s still not easy to move on. Maybe it was difficult to end things with them, maybe you have someone new who isn’t okay with your ex always texting, or maybe you just find it really annoying.

The truth is, there are a lot of reasons your ex could be continuously texting you, and there’s no way to absolutely know why for sure without being able to read minds. However, these reasons are usually common amongst the masses of over-texting exes and that is where we come in.

Why your ex just won’t put down their cell phone

Although it can be really annoying having an ex’s name pop up in your inbox, you should be aware of why they’re texting you in the first place. Even if they text you just to say hi, there’s a deeper meaning behind every message you receive.

Being someone who has had their fair share of exes, I’ve noticed many of their messages have different meanings entirely. I, along with many others who suffer from frequent texts from their ex, have put together all the reasons why they won’t stop texting you.

#1 They do it out of habit. Sometimes, just waking up and texting you a “good morning” is a habit for them they just can’t shake. It’s part of their routine, and they’re not ready to let it go even if they had to let you go.

#2 They miss you. If this isn’t the most obvious reason, I’m not sure what is. Honestly, if your ex is texting you in any capacity–other than to arrange dropping off belongings, etc.–then they miss you. They want to talk to you and get a reply out of you because they miss the conversation.

#3 They heard you have someone new. Am I the only one who gets a new boyfriend and all my exes immediately text me as if some sort of signal goes off, and they have to jump in and mess things up right away? If your ex hears you’re with someone new, they might text you just to scope them out and compare themselves to your new lover.

#4 Something reminded them of you. From time to time, if I see something that reminds me of an inside joke with my ex, I might snap a picture and send it to them. This is an innocent reason to text an ex that doesn’t always have a deeper meaning.

However, if it’s frequent and stirs up a lot of conversation on their part, then they may be trying to rekindle some feelings by sending you things that remind them of the two of you.

#5 Winter is coming and they don’t have a cuddle buddy. Many studies have proven the majority of people enter into relationships in the winter months so they have someone to bear the cold with. AKA: someone to snuggle up next to the fire and whisper sweet nothings in their ear.

If it’s around the winter months and holiday season, you could be in danger of your ex texting you because they’re looking for someone to share body heat with this winter.

#6 They still have feelings for you. If you’re getting random texts here and there asking about your day and making small talk in general, then your ex is probably texting you because they still have feelings for you and need to talk to you.

#7 They want to win you back. This goes hand in hand with the previous reason. They could be texting you to spark up a conversation that may lead to them trying to win you back. This reason can be blatantly obvious because they’ll ask you out on dates and compliment you like crazy.

#8 They want to annoy you. If you dumped this ex, they could be texting you just to spite you. They could be really upset, angry, and frustrated with your decision to end things and want to annoy you with their babble as much as possible.

#9 For reassurance. If you ended on good terms with your ex, there’s a good chance they’re going to text you for some positive reassurance in their life sometimes. If the two of you are still friends, they could text to ask you advice, reassure themselves if their ego has been shot, or just to get your opinion on certain things.

#10 They have problems letting go. Some people have a lot of issues with accepting things are over. They have problems with letting someone important to them go and are trying to hold on for dear life.

#11 For explanations–for the 100th time. If you dumped them and they’re still texting you, it could be because they’re still looking for explanations as to why. No matter how many times you tell them why things didn’t work out, they might keep coming back, because to them that reason isn’t good enough.

#12 They’re still holding onto hope. They could also be texting you because they’re holding on to a thread of hope you’ll want to get back together with them, and they’re just waiting for that one message to get through to you.

#13 Their friends are all in relationships, and they’re feeling lonely. Let’s be real, when your friends are all coupled up, it makes you want to couple up with someone too. And if you don’t have anyone, who would you turn to? Probably your ex.

This could be their mindset when they text you. They’re feeling lonely, and seeing all their friends in relationships stirred up some old hopes and desires within them, and they’re hoping you can satiate them.

#14 Just to check in. I’ll be honest, I still like and respect some of my exes in a completely platonic way. I care about them and just want to see how their life is going sometimes. I want to know if their career is going well, if they’ve run that marathon they always wanted to, and just to check up on them from time to time.

This could be exactly what your ex is doing, too. If there isn’t any notion that they’re looking for anything more than just a check-up with you, then that’s all they want–to make sure you’re okay.

#15 To leave the connection open. If your ex is that texter sending a few messages a week and then you don’t hear from them the rest of the time, chances are they’re trying to keep that connection open for when they find it convenient. They don’t want to go too long without contacting you for fear you’ll completely move on.

Exes blowing up your text inbox with messages can be one of the most frustrating things. But if you have these reasons as to why they’re hitting you up, it can make things a bit easier.

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