Showing posts with label relationship advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship advice. Show all posts

Saturday, 11 March 2017

How To Get A Second Date, When You’ve No Idea What You’re Doing


Be yourself, well mannered and smile !!     .........Susan




GEORGIJEVIC VIA GETTY IMAGES


How To Get A Second Date, When You’ve No Idea What You’re Doing


When it comes to dating, it’s worth knowing that everyone gets it wrong sometimes. No-one is ever taught how to date, it’s just something we’re expected to know and, unfortunately, as much as we’d like it to be, it’s never like it is in the movies!
One of the reasons dating has become so confusing is the massive change in gender roles of the past few years. Years ago, whilst dating still wasn’t perfect, everyone knew where they stood. Men were expected to ask a woman out, hold the door for her, pull out her chair, and pay the bill. But, as more women entered the workplace, increasing their spending power, confidence, and their chance for equality not just at work but at home as well, these traditions began to fall out of fashion. Nowadays it’s not a given that men will cover the bill. And, while I’m sure every woman likes a bit of chivalry once in a while, having your chair pulled out for you in a restaurant can feel awfully archaic.
So, in 2017, who should be doing what? Is it OK for a women to ask out a man? Should the bill be split 50/50 or broken down by what each person had? Add to this the fact that the dating landscape has changed with the introduction of apps and dating quizes and the whole dating game is a bit of a nightmare.
Fortunately, making mistakes when dating is common, so if you feel like you don’t quite know what you’re doing you’re not the only one. People from all over the globe are facing the same dating challenges and dilemmas; no nationality, culture or ethnicity is immune. And, while some mistakes are common everywhere, other mistakes tend to be unique to a specific culture or ethnicity.
There is lots of confusion, angst and turmoil. To add to the confusion, we’re constantly bombarded with conflicting dating advice too.
Despite this, everyone is doing the best they can. Ultimately, we’re all looking for love because we all want to be happy. We’re all seeking that connection with someone. Getting that all-important second date.
Dating is a numbers games and many of your first dates won’t make it to a second date. This is completely normal. That said, here are a couple of things you can do to increase your dating success:

1) Make an effort. Don’t turn up to a date in your work clothes or worse in your gym kit. 
2) Stay away from ‘no go’ topics, for example, don’t talk about politics, religion, sex, or about past relationships. And stay away from anything negative too. Instead, try and stick to light and fun topic areas.
Fish2FishDating.co.uk

Friday, 10 March 2017

Online Sexting: 10 Biggest Sexting Rules You Should Never Ignore

'Sexting is flirty hints of whats to come ! 
 It has be written that new research shows that sending raunchy texts to your partner can ignite things between the sheets. It can boast confidence, strengthen your relationship and be  fun at the same time.
However always be aware of what you say and do and with who, because things can have a habit of coming back and biting you.  ENJOY '    ........... Susan


Online Sexting: 10 Biggest Sexting Rules You Should Never Ignore

There is a fine line that you have to balance if you want to make online sexting effective, yet stay safe at the same time. Here’s how to do it.

Online sexting is something many couples use to stay connected when they can’t actually be together. And truth be told, it’s very useful. It can help forge that bond of intimacy that you wouldn’t otherwise get when you’re forced to be apart for a while.
However, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t come without some hardships here and there. First, while most couples use online sexting, there are people out there who use sexting as a means of growing closer with someone new and bringing out that flirty vibe. As you can imagine, this can come with some issues.
The dangers of sexting
While sexting should be done with someone you fully trust, there are still risks you take every time you send a naughty text. You can’t make those risks disappear completely, but you can do things to limit them.
The truth about online sexting is that it’s a little dangerous to be so vulnerable on the internet nowadays. People can hack devices, steal pictures, and even take conversations and post them for others to see. For that reason, you have to be safe about the way you sext, while still making your sexts just as effective. 
Rules for effective and safe online texting
As you can imagine, being safe while making your sexts hot and erotic can be a bit of a challenge. However, there are ways you can still sext your lover while ensuring you’re being completely safe with yourself and protecting your privacy.
No matter who you’re sexting, always use these rules, because even if you want to send something to your husband or wife, there are still people out there who could get a hold of those sexts and violate your privacy. In order to make online sexting effective while keeping yourself safe, follow these rules.
#1 Trust your partner. This should be the most obvious thing when it comes to online sexting, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t truly trust their partner but still send them sexts anyways.
The truth is that when you sext someone, you’re giving them full power to violate your privacy and show a ton of people. So, make sure you truly trust your significant other to NOT show all their friends your sext before sending it in the first place.
#2 Use code names. Don’t use your real names when sexting your partners. In fact, keep them in your phone under a completely different name if you want to add to the safety of your sexts.
Not only can this be really fun foreplay, but it’ll also make it really difficult for people to know it’s you if any information does get leaked. As long as they’re completely random, they should work.
#3 Don’t show your face. Online sexting usually means sending your lover naughty pictures of yourself in order to get them in the mood. While this is perfectly fine, you’ll want to use precautions to ensure people can’t actually tell it’s you in the photo.
That being said, don’t put your face in any naughty pictures. Your significant other will get just as much pleasure out of it whether or not your face is visible, and you can rest easy knowing there isn’t really a way for anyone to tell it’s actually you. 
#4 Use your own code words for activities. If you really want to take safety up another notch, you can use a code word for more than just each other’s names. You can use code words for your naughty activities you want to sext about so no one will know what you really mean.
By doing this, it’ll look like you’re having a regular conversation, but to the both of you, it’ll be secretly really sexy and fun. This can even add to the excitement knowing nobody else knows just what you’re saying to each other.
#5 Avoid doing so when drinking. Drinking and online sexting is never a good idea. Although you may be tempted to have a few before online sexting to calm the nerves, it’ll always end in disaster. Why?
Because when you’re drinking, you’re just not thinking clearly. This means you’ll be sloppier in your safety, and you’ll probably do something that can compromise your privacy. Like sending an online sext to the wrong person. 
#6 Delete the photos after. If you do end up taking photos of yourself and sending them to your lover, you should delete them afterwards. That way, the images won’t remain on your phone for others to accidentally come across or for hackers to steal.
You should always make sure to delete them from your iCloud and any other device that may have saved them internally. Deleting them from every source is vital to keeping your online sexting life private and safe.
#7 Don’t do online sexting at work. This is just a rule that everyone should follow for their own benefit. Sure, work can be a really boring place, and it might be fun to keep yourself entertained by online sexting your significant other.
However, you’re at work. You’re in a professional environment, and there are just far too many things that can go wrong. You can send it to the wrong person. You could be caught by your boss. You could even be fired for doing “personal work” while at your job. Just avoid it. 
#8 Only use your personal, secure devices. This won’t stop every perv from hacking your device and trying to steal your sexts, but using a device that’s not secure will make it a hell of a lot easier for someone to take your information.
For that reason, only use devices that will always stay in your possession. Don’t even use a family computer or tablet that you know others in the family will use. Stick to your cell phone, your personal tablet, or your laptop for online sexting.
#9 Hide the background. As much as you should hide your face in a sexting photo, you should also try to hide the background of the image, too. That being said, when you send a sext, try your best to make the majority of the photo all the good stuff and less background space.
Not only will your lover like how upfront and close it is, you’ll also reduce the risk of others finding out who you are by the things in your apartment or house. Believe it or not, you can tell a lot about a person by what’s in the background.
#10 Use an alternative app. Instead of using texting or emailing directly, try an app developed specifically for online sexting. There are quite a few out there that use extra security encryptions that protect your information, photos, and conversations better than your normal system can.
However, always practice the same type of caution in the apps as you would anywhere else because you never know what could happen. Safety should be first when it comes to online sexting.
Fish2FishDating.co.uk

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

'Golden trio' of sex moves to help women orgasm discovered by scientists

Hmm Interesting !

Good news for all you women out there, apparently any woman can climax - and indeed have multiple climaxes - if the circumstances of her life are right .......... Susan 



'Golden trio' of sex moves to help women orgasm discovered by scientists

“Explicit and direct communication with one’s partner is key”





Studies have shown that heterosexual women have fewer orgasms during sex than any other demographic, which substantiates the myth of the elusive female orgasm.
That said, it’s also been proven that lesbian women reach orgasm significantly more - in one study, 86 per cent of lesbian women reported they always or usually orgasm when sexually intimate compared to just 65 per cent of straight women.
But that proves that the female orgasm is not in fact as elusive as many people think, and scientists have now revealed a ‘golden trio’ of sex moves designed to increase the chances of a woman reaching orgasm.
Researchers from Chapman University, Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute studied over 52,000 Americans of different genders and sexual orientations to look into how often people orgasm.
The participants were aged between 18 and 65 and all said they were in a relationship with one person.
So, what need to happen in the bedroom for women to orgasm?
The ‘golden trio’:
  • Genital stimulation
  • Deep kissing 
  • Oral sex
“About 30% of men actually think that intercourse is the best way for women to have orgasm, and that is sort of a tragic figure because it couldn’t be more incorrect,” said study co-author Elisabeth Lloyd, who has written a book called The Case of the Female Orgasm.
She adds that: “To say that there needs to be some education I think is an understatement.
The researchers also found that women who do orgasm with their partners are more likely to feel satisfied with the relationship as a whole.
Whilst the ‘golden trio’ could provide some help, the study authors admit that there’s no ‘one size fits all’ approach to orgasming.
“Women really are tremendously variable in how readily they orgasm and what makes one woman orgasm can be quite different than what makes another woman orgasm,” said David Frederick, lead author of the research from Chapman University. 
“Explicit and direct communication with one’s partner is key.”
Fish2FishDating.co.uk

Sunday, 5 March 2017

Low Self Worth – 5 Steps to See Yourself in Better Light

Nobody should have low self worth but the sad thing is many of us do.  How are we expected to get out there and meet new people and possibly life partners when we don't see ourselves as the worthy unique human beings that we are?  The crazy thing is that even the most confident, intelligent,  beautiful people you know all have had low self esteem doubts at some point in their lives.
                   So all you people out there with low self worth try this exercise:  Next time you walk past somebody make  a point of smiling at them.  Yes I know 'its hard' I hear you say, after all they might not smile back! and if they don't big deal are you likely to see them again? look at it this way, they might just be having a bad day and are just not feeling sociable.  
But trust me when they do smile back you will feel good, and that feel good factor is FREE and you can get it anytime you want.  TRY IT !!!!...........   Susan





Low Self Worth – 5 Steps to See Yourself in Better Light


It’s hard to see the good in yourself when you have low self worth, but the truth is, you’re so much better than you think, and it’s time you realise it!

In a world where how you feel about yourself is so important, it is disheartening that there are so many ways that your self worth can be reduced down to nothing.

If you look at the magazines while you are in the grocery store, you are bombarded with mixed messages. Some magazines plaster their covers with why you should love yourself and how to build confidence, while the magazine right next to it tells you how to lose 10 pounds quickly or how to pleasure your man. Some magazines even have the audacity to put both of these headlines on the same cover!

While the media may be a large contributor when it comes to low self worth, it isn’t the only culprit – nor are females the only victims. Guys suffer from low self worth too. It’s just that guys are taught that you cannot show any sign of weakness and more often than not, that cockiness some guys exude is just a show.

What can cause low self worth?

There are many factors that can harm your self worth, things that happened in your childhood like bullying, punishments, neglect, and even abuse. These factors can be detrimental to a child’s growth, but the effects can be felt all the way into adulthood. Just think of instances where you didn’t live up to your parents’ expectations as a child, and every now and then, you catch yourself doubting your choices as you go through life.

Like many people, you may have had a very good childhood and didn’t experience the typical troubles that could damage your esteem. But as we grow up, we still can face other factors that can hurt our self esteem and self worth.

These factors could be anything from comparing yourself to others your age, financial and social situation, unemployed *or having a job you do not like*, or coming out of a bad relationship where you were abused, either mentally, emotionally, or physically.

No matter the situation or experience, if it leaves you questioning your worth and your purpose in the world, it is damaging your self-esteem and making you feel inferior to others. 

Why is low self-esteem harmful?

Self-esteem is as important to our well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness. -Louise Hart

Dr. Louise Hart, a psychologist who specializes in parenting techniques to help improve the social, emotional, and mental health in children, couldn’t have said it better. You wouldn’t go to Ikea and purchase a table that had crooked legs, so why should you go through life with a sub-par sense of well-being?

Low self-esteem can wreak havoc on your physical health as well as your mental health, as these two go hand in hand. For example, how many times have you started a diet and you do well for a few days, but when you cave in and have that milkshake or a decadent piece of chocolate cake, you feel guilty. Instead of forgiving yourself and understanding that weight loss is a difficult journey, you beat yourself up so much that you just give up because you feel that you cannot do it *this is coming from personal experience*. When you give up eating right, you may also give up exercising and this only makes things worse.

When you have low self-esteem, it makes everything feel so much more difficult. You don’t believe in yourself and you cannot see yourself the same way others see you. How many times have you been out somewhere and had someone approach you with something nice to say, only for you to be skeptical and dismissive? 

If you have low self worth and self esteem, it’s hard to see the good in yourself and you do not believe *or understand* the compliments you may receive. Who knows how many opportunities you may have missed out on, all because you don’t see yourself in a positive light! Sadly, if this consistently happens, people may begin to see you in that negative light, too.

5 Steps to change how you see yourself

One of hardest parts of changing the way you see yourself is admitting that you do experience low self-worth and recognising that you are worth the effort that is necessary to change it. More often than not, people with low self worth have grown so complacent that they are afraid to change because they may think it will be too difficult.

While it is true that it the road to having good self worth and knowing your worth is paved with challenges and setbacks, it is not impossible! Here are a few ways to begin the transformation and recognizing that you are someone who deserves happiness.

Step #1 Accept yourself for who you are. As a human, we have flaws and weaknesses. There is no one person that is perfect, and it does no one any good to compare themselves to someone else. When you are trying to improve your self worth, it is important that you recognise this and accept it. You have to come to terms with things that may have hurt you in the past and your flaws, without beating yourself in the process. 

Step #2 Say “bye-bye” to the voice in your head. It is easy to call yourself names when you do something stupid. How many times have you called yourself an idiot because you forgot something or you did poorly on an assignment?

While we may not think that this is harmful, it actually is. It makes you feel bad about yourself and it reinforces low self worth. Instead of calling yourself stupid, change your thinking to remind yourself not to make the same mistake twice. They don’t say you are your own worst critic for nothing, after all.

Step #3 Use positivity instead of negativity as motivation. Too often, we’ve been conditioned to respond to negative criticisms to give us the motivation to change. For example, let’s go back to those magazines that tell you how to lose weight. Those articles are usually accompanied by gorgeous people, and while it may not be the intent of these magazines to make you feel bad, it never fails to when we read these articles to compare ourselves to those models. Instead of comparing yourself to those models, tell yourself of the benefits of the exercise regimes and the healthier meal options.

You need to focus on the good things that will come from being healthy, like having more energy, feeling more comfortable in your own skin, etc. These positive comments to yourself will help you feel more confident and boost your self worth because you are recognising that you are worth the effort to change.

Step #4 Appreciate who you are and where you come from. This is a simple exercise that you can do anywhere. Once a day, close your eyes and ask yourself, “What are three things I like about myself?” The way you answer this question is entirely up to you.

It can be as something as simple as the choice of the outfit you are wearing that day, or it can be that you donated some time to a social cause. It can be anything.You could go one step further and write these down every day in a journal, and then periodically go back and read through them.

It will help you realise that you are a good person and that you do good things. The more things you can write down, the better you will feel when you go back and read through the journal. 

Step #5 Be kind and generous toward others. Perhaps one of the easiest ways to raise your self worth is by being kind toward others. When you do nice things for others, especially when it is unexpected, their gratitude can make you feel amazing.

For myself, I always hold the door for others or if they have only a few items to purchase, I let them go in front of me at the checkout. While these are very small things, they make me feel good because the person is *usually* grateful, and it’s always nice to be rewarded with a genuine smile. There are so many ways that you can be kind to other people. You will find that it is a rewarding experience and it’ll make you feel incredible about yourself!

When you believe that you can make people happy or that you control your own life and future, your self worth will grow with each new day, and you will start to believe that you’re more deserving of your own love and respect. 


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Sunday, 26 February 2017

The 5 Things You Should Really Look for in a Partner

The 5 Things You Should Really Look for in a Partner

What are the most important qualities for a happy relationship?
Posted Feb 25, 2017
Wyatt Fisher at flickr.com | CC0 license



In our search for a romantic partner, most of us have a long list of attributes that describe our perfect mate. These preferences go from general traits (e.g., smart, kind, funny, adventurous, understanding) to specific skills and interests (e.g., good cook, loves baseball, politically active, likes to travel). But we realize that we can’t find everything in one person — We’ll have to make some compromises. What are the most important things you should look for if you want to have a happy and successful relationship? Decades of research examining relationship satisfaction and longevity points to several qualities that you may be able to spot early on that make someone a better partner.

1. Focus on kindness, loyalty and understanding, not looks, status, and excitement.
When people are asked to list the most important qualities in a potential partner, kindness, physical attractiveness, an exciting personality, and income/earning potential tend to top the list.1 But some of these traits are more important than others once people actually get involved in relationships. Research I described in detail in an earlier post found that those whose partners meet their ideals in terms of warmth and loyalty are more satisfied with their relationships. Whereas meeting ideals in terms of physical attractiveness, excitement, status, and wealth is much less correlated with overall satisfaction. This research also found that having a having a partner who fell short on attractiveness, status, and excitement did not affect satisfaction if that partner was highly warm, kind, and loyal. So those more "superficial traits" were not important at all, for those whose partners were kind, understanding, and loyal.
2. Similarity
You should look for someone who is similar to you. A large body of research shows that we are attracted to people who are similar to us, especially those who share our attitudes and values. And in fact, similar couples are happier. Research has shown that couples who share tastes, interests and expectations tend to encounter fewer conflicts.3,4 When you like the same kinds of food, movies, or hobbies and have the same attitudes toward work-leisure balance, child-rearing, and handling social obligations there is just a lot less to fight about. There is also evidence that spouses that start out more similar in terms of educational attainment, age, and desired number of children are less likely to get divorced.5  
In addition, seeking a mate who is similar to you may sometimes have you searching for traits that are more idiosyncratic — improving your chances of landing someone who has those qualities. Almost everyone wants a mate who is kind and good-looking, so kind and good-looking people are going to be in high demand on the dating market. But if you really want someone who shares your passion for ballroom dancing and your obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the competition is likely to be less intense.
You should find someone who is reliable. Conscientiousness is about being practical, reliable, rule-following, and organized. This may not sound like the sexiest package of traits, but it’s a good package in a long-term mate. People who are conscientious tend to bring that trait into their relationships and are more dependable and trustworthy.6 People who are less conscientious are more difficult to deal with in a relationship – They cancel plans, they don’t fulfill their obligations around the house, they act carelessly, and they fall through on their promises. So that unpopular kid in high school who always got his or her homework done early and followed all the rules could make a trustworthy, and dependable spouse in the future. 
4. Emotional stability.
The one personality trait that affects our relationships the most is emotional stability — In the psychological literature, it’s often referred to by its opposite: Neuroticism.7 Those who lack emotional stability tend to be moody, touchy, anxious, and quicker to anger. All of this makes them more difficult to live with. Those high in neuroticism are much more likely to have negative and argumentative interactions with other people, including their romantic partners.8,9 They also tend to be more jealous and less forgiving.10,11 Not surprisingly then, those high in neuroticism are more likely to end up divorced.12 So in the early stages of dating, watch out for someone who seems excessively touchy and anxious, as it could be a sign that a relationship with them will be rocky.
5. The belief that relationships take work.
When you’re just starting a relationship with someone, it’s hard to anticipate how things will change after months or years together and how this person will deal with the inevitable bumps along the road. But you can get a sense of how hard they will work to maintain a happy a relationship and resolve conflicts. How? You need to understand their general philosophy about relationships.
Researchers have identified two sets of beliefs about relationships: Growth beliefs and destiny beliefs.13 Those with destiny beliefs think that relationships are either meant to be or not. They believe that once two soulmates unite, everything will be great. If a relationship is meant to be, then everything will just work out. If there are problems, that’s just a sign that you’re with the wrong person. In contrast, those with growth beliefs think that relationships take hard work and that a strong relationship is something that you develop over time. They believe that all relationships will encounter problems and that having a stronger relationship means working hard to cope with difficulties that arise.
These different attitudes toward relationships have major implications for how people cope with relationship difficulties. When people with destiny beliefs hit a bump, they assume it’s a sign that the relationship is doomed. So they tend to avoid conflicts and become angry if they must acknowledge their partner’s faults (because that would mean the relationship is not meant to be). And when the going gets tough, they give up, rather than working to repair damage to the relationship. In contrast, those with growth beliefs are more open to discussing problems, and respond positively to challenges in the relationship by working to resolve them.
So on an early date, ask your date about their attitudes toward relationships – If they have a fatalistic attitude, that could be a bad sign.
These are just a few qualities that you can look out for early in a relationship. Of course this is not an exhaustive list, as there are other qualities also associated with relationship success. And many important factors won’t show up until later in your relationship (the way they deal with conflicts, how they get along with your family).  Is your relationship doomed if your partner doesn’t have all of these qualities? — Certainly not (that sort of thinking is a destiny belief!). But all of these factors have been shown to be associated with having happier relationships. And they are things that you can figure out pretty quickly as you get to know a new partner. So keep these 5 qualities in mind the next time you're starting a new relationship.
Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D. is an associate professor of psychology at Albright College, who studies relationships and cyberpsychology. Follow her on Twitter for updates about social psychology, relationships, and online behavior. Read more more articles by Dr. Seidman on Close Encounters.

          Wednesday, 31 August 2016

          Are You Flirting More Than You Realise?


          The danger arises from misreading the context and the other person’s perspective.   -Susan



          fish2fishdating

          Are You Flirting More Than You Realise?


          The signals you send can make things complicated

          You may regard yourself as a loyal, faithful partner who would never ever cheat. However, stop and think: Is it possible that you engage in unintentional "innocent" flirtations? Maybe you engage in occasional teasing with co-workers, neighbours, or even a sister- or brother-in-law. Are you communicating, unintentionally, that you’re sexually available? That teasing, when it involves certain nonverbal messages, can get you into trouble, even though you believe it to be harmless. Without realising it, you’ve led the person you’ve been exchanging knowing glances with to assume that you mean business. Taken aback, you deny having sent any sexual signals, and an embarrassing silence follows.

          Flirtation is a fact of life in many social interactions, even (or especially) among people who don’t know each other. A waiter offers you a glass of sparkling water and you think you spot a wink. You’re waiting in line at airport security, and a good-looking fellow traveler offers to put your shoes in the bin. As you offer your thanks, you could swear that your shoes are being handled with extra special attention. Five minutes later, you forget the whole thing ever happened, but for that fleeting moment, it seems like the chance meeting could go in any direction at all.
          With a person who you see on a frequent basis, flirting is far more complicated. You’re very happy in your primary close relationship, but it’s kind of fun to play around with the idea that you could play around with this other person. It would be highly inappropriate, you know, but you can almost imagine giving this person a little pat where you shouldn’t or wouldn’t dare to. During a ceremonial hugging opportunity (such as at a birthday party or holiday) you want to linger just a little bit longer, though, again, you know this would be a wicked thing to do.
          Flirting in your head could inadvertently turn to flirting for real if the other person picks up on the cues you believed to be ever so subtle. Finding yourself alone with this person (or in the adjoining seat on the plane), you’re now at that point I referred to earlier where you’re being taken far more seriously than you ever intended. Faced with the prospect of turning those mental images into reality, you’re thrown into a chaotic mental state of fear and temptation.
          Jeffrey Hall and Chong Xing (2015), communications Studies at the University of Kansas, examined the verbal and nonverbal behaviours associated with what they define as the 5 basic flirting styles. According to Hall and Xing, people differ in the style of flirting they typically prefer, or what they call a “unique dispositional manner of communicating romantic interest” (p. 42). In other words, your personality in part determines how you let other people know you’re sexually attracted to them. If you’re typically comfortable in the idea of having sex outside a relationship, you’ll flirt one way; if not, you’ll flirt in other ways. Everyone flirts, but in slightly different manners.
          In previous research, Hall and his associates developed a self-report measure of flirting style that correlated with other self-report measures of a person’s interest in sex outside of relationships. Hall and Xing decided it would be perhaps even more revealing to rate flirting styles not on what people said about themselves—not necessarily all that accurate—but on how they behaved in an interaction with a stranger. They asked 51 pairs of single (not in a relationship) male and female undergraduates to talk to each other in a lab setting for a 10-minute period. To make sure the conversation never reached a lull, the researchers gave participants sample questions to discuss over the course of the interaction. At the end, each participant indicated how physically attracted they were to their conversation partner.

          This brief interaction gave the researchers plenty of verbal and nonverbal data which they subsequently rated (from videos) along 38 dimensions. The behavioural ratings included non-sexual bodily movements such as arm and leg crossing, moving closer or farther apart, gesturing, and head nodding. Additionally, raters assessed more sexual behaviours such as flirtatious glancing, licking the lips, and taking a suggestive pose. Conversational ratings included raising one’s vocal pitch, speaking animatedly, teasing, and engaging in self-disclosure.

          After crunching the wealth of data obtained from these ratings, Hall and Xing were able to identify behavioural differences among the 5 self-acknowledged flirting types using as their basis for categorisation the self-report questionnaires that participants also completed.
          Here’s how your behaviour might look for each of the flirting styles. (Where men and women differed, these are broken apart.)

          1. Physical. If you’re a physical type of flirt, you touch the people to whom you're physically attracted, even if only so subtly. In the Hall and Xing study, women who described themselves as physical flirters indeed tended to “open up” their bodies by moving their hands out and away from their torsos, and nodding their heads often during conversation. Surprisingly, men who described themselves as physical flirts and felt attracted to their partners looked at them less and rarely gave them compliments. 
          2. Traditional. If you’re a traditional flirt, you believe that men should make the first move. Accordingly, as shown in the study, men who saw themselves as fitting this type were more likely to lean toward their partner while traditionally flirtatious women used verbal teasing as their means of communication.
          3. Sincere. You appear to have a true interest in the other person if you’re a sincere flirt, and before long, you’ll find that other people are revealing their deepest truths to you. Behaviourally, as shown in this study, you’ll be less likely to tease (especially if you’re a man) and more likely to exchange flirtatious gazes early in your meetings with strangers.
          4. Polite. If you don’t really like flirting per se, but prefer to take your time to get to know someone, your interactions with a new person will take on a more formal or polite quality. As shown by Hall and Xing, even if you’re physically attracted to someone, you won’t make a move to get closer, you won’t engage in teasing, and (if you’re a woman) you won’t even ask too many questions.
          5. Playful. A playful flirt enjoys the game, but isn’t really in it for the relationship. If you fit this profile, you’re not really sincere about getting to know the other person and you may even be using the flirtation as the means to another end, such as getting someone to do you a favor. Without even realising it, you may be sending physical signals such as protruding your chest (whether male or female) but if you’re a woman, you’ll flash the flirtatious gaze especially once the interaction gets going.
          Some behaviours in this study emerged as related to physical attraction to the partner regardless of flirting style. If you’re really attracted to someone, as observations revealed, you’ll touch your own body less frequently, give out plenty of compliments, give more flirtatious glances (especially early in the interaction), and not do any teasing as the interaction winds down. Women smile and laugh with the people they’re interested in and open up their bodily gestures. Men look at their partners more and tend to sit still.
          In summary, this study of behavioural differences revealed that people who regard themselves as one particular type of flirt do interact differently when they’re engaged in talking to a stranger who they find attractive. Because flirtations can have consequences that you might not intend, it’s helpful to know what message you’re communicating to your interaction partners, no matter how brief or seemingly random. It’s also possible for those brief encounters to turn into ones that last, allowing you to experience the fulfilment that comes from a mutually rewarding intimate relationship over the long-term.
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