How To Get A Second Date, When You’ve No Idea What You’re Doing

Be yourself, well mannered and smile !!     .........Susan

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How To Get A Second Date, When You’ve No Idea What You’re Doing

When it comes to dating, it’s worth knowing that everyone gets it wrong sometimes. No-one is ever taught how to date, it’s just something we’re expected to know and, unfortunately, as much as we’d like it to be, it’s never like it is in the movies!

One of the reasons dating has become so confusing is the massive change in gender roles of the past few years. Years ago, whilst dating still wasn’t perfect, everyone knew where they stood. Men were expected to ask a woman out, hold the door for her, pull out her chair, and pay the bill. But, as more women entered the workplace, increasing their spending power, confidence, and their chance for equality not just at work but at home as well, these traditions began to fall out of fashion. Nowadays it’s not a given that men will cover the bill. And, while I’m sure every woman likes a bit of chivalry once in a while, having your chair pulled out for you in a restaurant can feel awfully archaic.

So, in 2017, who should be doing what? Is it OK for a women to ask out a man? Should the bill be split 50/50 or broken down by what each person had? Add to this the fact that the dating landscape has changed with the introduction of apps and dating quizes and the whole dating game is a bit of a nightmare.

Fortunately, making mistakes when dating is common, so if you feel like you don’t quite know what you’re doing you’re not the only one. People from all over the globe are facing the same dating challenges and dilemmas; no nationality, culture or ethnicity is immune. And, while some mistakes are common everywhere, other mistakes tend to be unique to a specific culture or ethnicity.

There is lots of confusion, angst and turmoil. To add to the confusion, we’re constantly bombarded with conflicting dating advice too.

Despite this, everyone is doing the best they can. Ultimately, we’re all looking for love because we all want to be happy. We’re all seeking that connection with someone. Getting that all-important second date.

Dating is a numbers games and many of your first dates won’t make it to a second date. This is completely normal. That said, here are a couple of things you can do to increase your dating success:

1) Make an effort. Don’t turn up to a date in your work clothes or worse in your gym kit. 

2) Stay away from ‘no go’ topics, for example, don’t talk about politics, religion, sex, or about past relationships. And stay away from anything negative too. Instead, try and stick to light and fun topic areas.

In a nutshell aim to make a good first impression. Smiling and staying positive are also great ways to improve your chances.

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10 Fascinating Facts About Modern Relationships

10 Fascinating Facts About Modern Relationships

Announcement: old-fashioned courting is dead! Long live finding love online. (That was quite a mouthful ... That's what she said! ... Sorry.)

Basically, relationships and the rules are a 'changing. The stats about modern love are pretty fascinating, according to a 2014 survey done by MSNBC. Here are 10 cold, hard truths about dating in modern times, starring the beautiful faces of our own E! Online readers! If you want to be featured in a future article, scroll on down to see how to get the chance to see your face on this site!

1. 44% of the American population is single (starring @theblondmess)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

Almost half of the humans walking around this country are unattached and not getting dragged to Farmers Markets on Saturday morning at 7 a.m. Lucky bastards.

2. 40 million Americans use online dating services (starring @tonstr)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

Sometimes opening up your laptop and performing a search is easier (and better) than wandering around the bar scene. But whether you are online or offline, there will be creeps. Be safe in/out there.

RELATED: A way to have a "Very Merry Xmas"

3. 53% of single people say that the smile is the most attractive feature (starring@ninaagha)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

What's that quote everyone used to have in their AIM profiles? "Never frown, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile." So remember that.

4. It takes an average of one hour to make a first impression on a woman (starring @ashlyncoray and @antonioalba13)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

That means you have an episode of Scandal's time worth to impress a lady. Or two episodes of Parks and Recreation, if you will.

5. For men, it only takes 15 minutes to make an impression on them (starring @nicklanchoand @jazzmean_b)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

Apparently men are much quicker to decide if they are into you or not.

6. 63% of married couples say they met their spouse through a friend (starring @ray8611,@lordtifa and @reesetea)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

Hey, maybe your best buddy is hiding the future love of your life! Not like in a basement or anything. That would be weird. And hopefully you wouldn't be friends with someone like that.

Related: Find your idea partner online

7. A whopping 88% of women find money to be "very important" in a relationship (starring@yourfavoritenikki)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

Money isn't everything, people. But if you can't afford to take her out to McDonald's every once in a while, you might not be able to keep her for long.

8. Speaking of cash, the number one argument among couples? Money, obviously (starring @ashasingmusic and @workofsam)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

Get your Amazon spending habit in check if you don't want knock-down, drag-out fights in your future. Sure, you might not to be able to get the Sherlock box set, but at least you'll be able to afford groceries.

9. In the Washington, D.C. area, 70% of the adults are unmarried

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

They liked it, but maybe they didn't need to put a ring on it. Sometimes Beyoncé is wrong, you guys. (Don't tell her we said that!)

10. Only 2% of men said they found relationships from going to bars (starring @bobbyphenomenal, @juanpivargas, @leximendieta, @humbleashecanbe and @ani_reenea)

Amanda Oleander for E! Online

Lower than you expected, right? That would explain the spike in online dating. Science! 

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6 Tips on How to Make a Good First Impression

Most of us would like to believe that we don’t judge others. While this may be somewhat true, we often make assumptions about an individual based on the first impression.Many of us are able to move forward and form a final opinion once we get to know an individual. They either confirm what we assumed or we realize we were wrong.

Knowing that assumptions are made after the first impression, it is natural to want to give our best in that moment. Below are several tips on how to make a great first impression in any situation.

1. Create a great greeting.This takes a little research in cultural competency and knowing who you will be greeting. You want to make sure your smile, words, and handshake are all appropriate. In some cultures bowing may be more appropriate than handshakes, while in other cultures the degree of an appropriate smile varies. Create the perfect greeting for your particular situation
2. Observe how you are dressed.This does not simply include your clothes, but also accessories. People tend to make a lot of assumptions based on your physical presentation. It is important to know the atmosphere you are walking into and to dress accordingly. People may say that looks aren’t everything, but would you really trust a psychologist in their pajamas and sporting bedhead?
3. Research the culture.I can recall interviewing for a job, but I didn’t do my research. I’d relocated to the West Coast to an office where standard office attire was jeans and sweatshirts. On the day of my interview I showed up in a full business suit, hair pulled in a bun, and a briefcase. Thankfully, I got the job, but it sure was interesting later to hear everyone’s first impressions.
4. Avoid new encounters on bad days.If you are not in a good mood, stay at home. In a new situation with new people, they may not be able to recognize you are having a bad day because they don’t know you. Your mood is often expressed through facial expressions and body language. The last thing you want to do is give off the impression that you do not want to be where you are or that you are not interested. If it is a situation you cannot avoid, try some relaxation techniques or find other techniques that may help you change your negative mood before going out.
5. Be aware of your body language.Your body language includes facial expressions, your posture, the way you shake hands. Body language is a vital part of making good first impressions. Simply be aware of your body language and make changes as needed. I often show a lot of my feelings and emotions through my facial expressions. I have to work hard to not let confusion, annoyance, frustration, or lack of interest show. This takes a lot of awareness and a lot of practice.
6. Be genuine.There is nothing worse than having an encounter with a really fake person. In any situation it is important to be yourself. You may not want to loudly belch at the office party even if that’s who you are at home, but if you’re not into politics don’t pretend you are. Genuine people are more likable even if they don’t always “fit in.”

These are just a few tips; you have to find what works for you. Be confident, strong, and prepare to put your best foot forward. As an anonymous sage once said, “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.”

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