Friday, 15 January 2016

7 Things Your Top Sex Dreams Really Mean

"Dreams can bring back to life the voices of your loved ones who have left this earthly plain, .... lovely".

Why is it that if you wake up during a really good dream you cannot get back into it, but if you wake up during a horrible dream you fall straight back into it? This always happens to me". - Susan

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7 Things Your Top Sex Dreams Really Mean

They can tell you a lot about your life. 

Ever wake up in the A.M. confused about the crazy sex dream you just had? Before you jump to conclusions—like it's a sign that you should get a divorce or your hubby is texting another woman—there's something Ian Wallace, psychologist, dream expert, and author of The Complete A To Z Dictionary Of Dreams: Be Your Own Dream Expert, thinks you should know: Your sex dreams have absolutely nothing to do with, well, having sex at all. Here's what they really mean:

1. Cheating on your husband.

A dream like this often points to an underlying lack of trust, but not in your marriage. "It means that the dreamer is losing faith in their own attractiveness and is experiencing something in their waking life that is making them feel less confident and sure of themselves," says Wallace. Whether you got shot down after presenting a new idea at work, or that super-fit, has-it-all mom is suddenly making you question everything, Wallace says it's a sign you're seeking too much approval from those around you.

2. Having gay sex—if you're straight—or straight sex—if you're gay.

3. Sex with a person who has no face.

"The face symbolises identity, so if the person you're having sex with has no face, it means there's something you're constantly being challenged by in your life that you haven't discovered yet," says Wallace. In other words, it's a call to action to look more closely at what could potentially be holding you back so you can fix it, asap.

4. Best-friend sex.

It might seem weird, but Wallace says fantasies like these come and go when there's a personality trait you really admire that your best friend has. See? No major problems here. Unless of course your situation is eerily similar to Joey and Rachel's.

5. Experiencing an actual orgasm.

If it feels like you're having an orgasm, it could actually be because you're getting close to experiencing one physically, according to studies. It's not just men who get extra excited while catching z's. Experts say women, too, go through bodily changes—i.e. increase in vaginal lubrication, enlarged clitoris—during the REM stage of sleep that can lead to arousal down there. And if your sex dream happens to coincide with the time that you're experiencing REM, you're really in for a treat.

6. Sex with a co-worker you can't stand.

In short, you're super jealous of a work-related talent or skill that this person is good at and are frustrated that they're excelling at it and you aren't, says Wallace.

7. Sex with Bradley Cooper.

Or Becks. Or Leo circa 1997. Besides the possibility that you might just be dreaming out a life-long fantasy of having sex with a hot celeb, Wallace says these kinds of dreams signal that you—like most celebrities—are really good at something in your life and have the ability to gain even more power from it. Lucky you...and Bradley.

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Wednesday, 16 September 2015

How to Deal With Someone Who Always Wants to Argue

"Dealing with somebody who loves to argue can be really frustrating, its so easy to respond with ..........'But'.... and then its too late you find yourself caught up in the argument. There is nothing worse than having to walk on eggshells in a relationship, to be weary of speaking your mind incase it fires up an argument.

One tactic to try if you find yourself in this situation is to say YES and agree with the person who is arguing. Hopefully this will stop the argument stone cold dead. This is called 'fogging' , by not responding in the expected way, in other words by being defensive or argumentative, the other person will cease confrontation as the desired effect is not being achieved." - Susan Watts

How to Deal With Someone Who Always Wants to Argue

Argumentative friends, family and partners can make even simple interactions stressful. When dealing with someone who always wants to argue, it is important to remember that you do not need to engage in argumentative behaviors in turn. Learning how to control your own responses as well as limiting interactions with argumentative individuals can help you diffuse difficult situations and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Emotional Regulation

As much as you may want to try to reason with someone who is argumentative, it is unlikely that he will stop his own behaviors unless he is motivated to do so on his own. In other words, you cannot control his behavior, but you can control your own reactions to his argumentative ways. When someone who always wants to argue becomes aggressive or negative, keep your own emotions in check. Avoid arguing back or becoming defensive. This will generally just fuel the other person’s anger.

Direct Discussion

Sometimes argumentative individuals are unaware of how their behaviors affect others. At a time when your argumentative partner, friend or relative is calm, discuss the ways that her behavior is affecting you. Emphasize that you want to have a harmonious relationship and explain how this argumentative behavior makes you feel -- for example, hurt, angry or frustrated. Avoid blaming this individual or labeling her as argumentative. Instead, emphasize that you have noticed that you are not communicating well.

Disengage from Arguments

If you find yourself being drawn into an argument through insults, yelling or other forms of provocation, it can be helpful to walk away from the situation, advises clinical social worker and relationship coach Carol Juergenson-Sheets. You can say something such as “I will discuss this with you later when we can talk calmly” and then remove yourself from the person’s company. If this argumentative pattern of behavior continues, it may be beneficial to simply walk away without saying anything at all.

Work Through Underlying Problems

Sometimes an individual’s argumentative patterns stem from underlying problems in a relationship. If you notice a pattern of argumentative behaviors in your partner, family member or close friend, this may stem from unresolved anger, animosity, resentment or other negative feelings. Thus, it may be useful to take a close look at your relationship and consider the nature of your relationship with the person who always wants to argue. Ask yourself if your relationship has issues that you have not yet resolved. If so, take steps to address the underlying problems.

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Friday, 15 January 2016