I bet some out there are thinking Phew, thank god Valentines Day is all done and dusted for another year. If you're that guy who is questioning whether you're  a droid from another planet cos' you really couldn't see what all the fuss was about...this might be for you...!!!

New Girl

16 Signs You’re Going To Be Forever Alone

For every person who is comfortable being single, there is someone else who has gone straight past ‘comfortable’ and is now veering into a deeply bleak territory. Family members worry about you. Friends try to set you up with any number of dates. Coworkers constantly nominate you for extra projects because they know you have no one to go home to. Because you, my friend, my curmudgeonly grumpy sourpuss of a friend. You are just forever and ever and ever alone.

1. Your favourite sleeping position is sprawled out, in the center of the bed, legs and arms in every possible different direction, with multiple pillows supporting key points of your body. Even if you sleep in a king-sized bed, where is anyone else supposed to fit?

2. The last time somebody hit on you, you secretly wondered if someone had put them up to a bet.

3. You think to yourself, “But, God, I don’t even like spending that much time with myself.”

4. The thought of splitting meals, dessert, or a wine bottle with anyone at all — even your best friend — is enough to make you want to use your fork as a weapon.

5. You have recently thought that Netflix knows you better than anyone else — and sharing your account with anyone else would seriously mess up your algorithm.

6. You deeply dislike shaving.

7. You’ve become so good at creating single-serving meals (or your secret eating habits are so abysmally weird) that cooking for another person is your personal Everest.

8. You’ve begun to consider your cat’s reaction to a prospective suitor as the make-or-break deal in dating.

9. Your cat hates everyone.

10. You’re growing more and more comfortable with the idea of making an “Okay, but if we’re 45 and neither of us has found anyone…” pact with your best friend (partially because you know they’ll actually find someone and you’ll be off the hook).

11. At this point, you feel like the most intimate relationship you have is with your barista. You actually don’t mind seeing them every morning.

12. It’s not that you don’t believe in “The One,” but you’re more inclined to believe that your personal “One” is a homemade mac-‘n-cheese recipe.

13. You never want any person you’re dating to see your grubbiest sweats (you know the ones) but you also don’t want to throw those bad boys out, so it’s the former that has to go.

14. You refer to people whom you only know by their Twitter handle as personal friends. (And you use their @ handle when you refer to them in real life.)

15. Your ability to dissuade the delivery guy into thinking that the sushi meal for 4 will actually serve four people is so on point, that you’d hate to let that skill go to waste.

16. I’m going to say two words, and I want you to gauge your reaction accordingly:

Valentine’s.

Day.

(If you threw up in your mouth a little bit, congratulations. You’re destined to be forever alone.) 

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How to get over “The One”

 

Your mobile tortures you with messages from everyone but him. You mope around asking yourself “What went wrong?” We talk to experts about how to snap out of it, and move on.

Some relationships die a natural death: the passion fizzles, they peter out or it’s a mutual decision. But when someone you imagined going grey with calls it quits, you’re left reeling – and that person stays in your head for years. “We never forget the one that got away,” says Dr Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and author of Why Him? Why Her? “When you fall in love with somebody you trigger the brain’s dopamine system. It’s responsible for wanting, for craving, for obsession – and if it’s not satisfied, if you didn’t win that person, they’re seared in your memory.” Dutch scientists recently found being dumped by a lover can actually be heart-stopping – so how do you begin to recover?

Rent Titanic
Forcing a smile when you’re devastated only prolongs the suffering. “Have a weekend of watching tear-jerkers, playing gloomy music and really wallowing in your sadness,” says counselling psychologist Jacqui Marson. But once that weekend is over, it’s time to get moving. Start by treating yourself to a mani-pedi and blow-dry, but also make time to work out, which releases feel-good endorphins. For added benefit, exercise outside, since sunlight exposure delays your body’s release of melatonin (the sleepiness hormone) and elevates mood. 

Change your brain
While it’s not (yet) possible to erase someone from your memory, in the style of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, according to Dr Fisher it is possible to change your brain circuitry. “It’s important to get hugs from old friends as it’ll drive up oxytocin,” she says. Your body is flooded with this feel-good hormone when you have an orgasm, so it’s something your body is craving after a breakup. “Doing novel things with interesting people will boost levels of dopamine in the brain and make you feel better,” says Dr Fisher. 

Lisa, 22, found that a weekend hip-hop class helped distract her from her ex. “I was sick of spending Saturday mornings having breakfast with my mates and their boyfriends, so I decided to try a dance class – something I never had time for when I was with Tom,” she says. “I met a whole new group of single girls there, and the class got me excited about the weekend.”

Rally the troops
After a breakup you need to re-build your network – get in touch with old friends and put yourself in situations where you’ll meet fresh faces. “It’s good to ask for help,” says Marson. “And it helps to give friends a specific support role.” Whether you want them to be your exercise buddy, travel with you, take you out on the town or be that friend you call at 2am when you’re tempted to text the ex… make sure they know their job and are prepared to dispense tough love when needed.

Delete his number
“Don’t call, don’t show up where he hangs out, don’t ask his friends about him,” says Dr Fisher. When someone’s been the centre of your universe it can be gut-wrenching to wipe them completely from your life – but it’s the quickest route to sanity. If your ex wants to be friends, tell him it might be possible in 2013. “You will still continue to crave that person and it might be three years, maybe 10 years, before it’s feasible to have a friendship with them,” says Dr Fisher. (Get over him with a fresh start: Fish2FishDating)

Don’t sleep with him
Jo, 26, never got over her first boyfriend Charlie. “I’d managed to push him to the back of my mind until he added me on Facebook last year,” she says. “He could see from my status I was engaged, but it didn’t stop him poking me daily and sending me flirty messages. My fiancé was working late one night – I felt a bit neglected and so I decided to meet Charlie for dinner. The spark was still there and we ended up sleeping together. A few weeks later I broke off my engagement – only to have Charlie break my heart again.”

Cyber stalking, or even meeting up with an ex for coffee, is playing with fire. “If I could have a penny for everybody who’s in one relationship, but still half in their old relationship, I’d be a millionaire,” says marital therapist Andrew G Marshall, author of Heal and Move On. He sees many clients still emotionally cleaved to an ex “soul mate”. “We need to get rid of this idea that there’s one single person who is right for us,” says Marshall. “There are different people who are right for us at different stages in our lives.”

So, instead of holding a candle to the one that got away, think about why. It’s easy to get caught up fantasising about the life you might have had with an ex but it’s so much more helpful to remember why it didn’t work.

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