23 Tips To Blow Away 1st Date Stress!

23 Tips To Blow Away 1st Date Stress!

You're excited, nervous, doubtful, hopeful, ambivalent, hesitant, happy...

These are just a few of the thoughts and emotions most people experience when preparing for a first date.

Dating should be fun! Whether you are just starting out, dating again for the first time after many years or somewhere in-between, there are universal concerns that many share.

If you're looking for advice and suggestions on what you should or shouldn't do read no further. You won't find them here.

Prefer to craft your own opinions rather than taking those of well meaning friends, family and article writers? Identify your needs and desires ahead of time. Remove stress and empower yourself. Take control ... read on!

No one can predict how a first date will turn out. There are simply too many variables. I'd like to make one suggestion for your consideration. Be your authentic self!Don't create a false first date persona that you will have to maintain if all goes well.

Here are some questions to ponder before your first encounter. Thinking ahead goes a long way towards reducing dating anxiety.

• What if anything do I owe a first date?
• Will I have to break the ice by starting the conversation? If so, what will I say?
• How do I respond if he starts with a question I'm uncomfortable answering?
• What amount of information should I share ... tell him I've been married before, have children, am widowed...?

Should I mention my kids?

• Should I talk about my ex? Discuss my children showing pictures I really love?
• What should I absolutely, positively not reveal?
• Am I comfortable discussing political or religious views?
• What questions can I ask that will reveal her real personality and disposition?
• What signs will show me this guy is a real jerk?
• What about questions of views on sex ... am I OK talking about them?
• Suppose I'm only physically attracted ... do I consider a second date?
• What if he's 20 years older than his Internet picture or she's 25 pounds heavier?
• What if he seems nice with good values but a bit dull ... not exactly my type but a decent guy ... do I give him another chance and see what develops?
• How can I politely show I'm not interested?
• If she really turns me on do I tell her?
• How can I make sure I'm not showing too much interest so I don't scare him off?
• What if I suspect he's being a little bit phony ... how important is that ... am I being my real self?
• If she offers to split the bill or pay how do I handle it?
• What do I say if I don't want to see her again ... do I take her number?
• What criteria will I use to determine if I want to see him/her again?
• How do I communicate that I really like him and want to ensure a second date?
• What if I'm totally ambivalent and not sure if I want to see him again?
• Will I consider dating someone I'm not romantically interested in simply to share some companionship?

Do any of these questions sound familiar? Are there a bunch more you can add? 

Remove the stress associated with a first date!

Before you agree to meeting give thought to the questions above and any others that come to mind.

Take the time to examine but not obsess about what you are looking for in a first date. It will remove a tremendous amount of worry and anxiety which often doom an initial meeting from the get go.

Give some thought to your expectations beforehand then realize it's simply one date. It might be fantastic, mediocre or a disaster. Whatever the outcome ... you'll survive! 

Sometimes things just happen and begin to take on a life of their own. That's fate. Go with the flow!

Think, hope, be yourself and visualize a positive outcome ... but make sure you have a good escape plan ready just in case you need it! 

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Simple Online Dating 101 Tips

Online dating when you sit and think about is very simple. We can often over complicate things by putting to much pressure on ourselves or assuming what opposite sex is looking for in a mate that simply isn't so and therefore stressing ourselves out. Here are some good short basics to keep in mind when wading into the online dating game from Mens Fitness

Online Dating 101

1) Pick a mature (not silly or arrogant) screen name. BigMikey9inch may sound clever to you, but chances are SweetJen28 will want nothing to do with a guy who feels the need to "advertise" (particularly when you're probably closer to NotSoBigMikey4inch).

Have fun with your screen name, but avoid being vulgar or cocky. Stay away from names that denote wealth or immaturity. Choose names that are simple and easy to remember. Craig Wax, senior vice president at Match.com, recommends "coming up with a name that gives an indication of what you are all about. So, for instance, if you like to ski and like to cook, your user name could be SkiingChef. Right off the bat, you get a sense of what this person is all about." Keep in mind that this is a name that might stick as a nickname, too, so nix options like Baddabing or TeddyBearBoy.

Get started here: Your next dating adventure is a click away

2) Use a high-quality photo. "A profile without a photo means one of two things to a woman: in a relationship or not so attractive," says Jane Coloccia, author of Confessions of an Online Dating Addict. She will want to see your face, so shots with sunglasses and/or baseball hats might as well not even be there. "A hat leads her to assume you have a balding problem that you are trying to hide," says Coloccia. And have someone take your picture for you—a self-portrait in the bathroom screams MySpace or desperate loneliness.

Include a current—say, within six months—head shot and a full-body shot of yourself. Step it up with a picture of you laughing. "Most often people make their decision based on the primary photo," says Wax. "At Match.com, you can upload 26 photos, so you can include a good cross section of photos to showcase your personality." Just make sure the fi rst one they see is an accurate representation of what you really look like and not how you wish you did.

3) Be clever in your profile. "Don't start out by apologizing," says Coloccia. "We don't need you to tell us that you aren't a writer or you hate writing about yourself." Let your personality shine through.

Since women are more emotional than visual, "color in the picture," counsels Coloccia, "with as many different facets of your personality as you can include." Self-deprecation and humor are always endearing ways to get noticed, but whatever you do, "avoid clichés such as, 'I like long walks on the beach and holding hands,'" advises Wax. "That's like saying, 'I like sleeping and breathing.'"

4) Stick with the truth. Typically, men lie about their height and women about their weight. Most girls will actually do the adjusting and take an inch or two off whatever height you write anyway. But don't think that means you're in the clear. If you're only 5'7'', and her profile says only over six feet need apply (or vice versa), play by the rules.

Otherwise, don't be surprised if she takes one look at you on your first date and smacks you upside your lying, little head.

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