Showing posts with label physical attraction. Show all posts

Monday, 27 June 2016

12 Things Guys Like in a Girl besides Her Appearance

'Interesting ... well at least its not all about looks' - Susan

12 Things Guys Like in a Girl besides Her Appearance

Looks matter, but it’s not everything. Find out what those 12 things are that all guys desire and like in a girl besides her appearance to fall for her.

Appearances play a big part in physical attraction.

Your looks are almost always one of the first things a guy would notice about you.

Well, of course, some guys would even claim that they look at a girl’s face, boobs and butt before they look for anything else.

If you’ve got a great physique and looks to match, you’ll definitely get any guy’s attention.

But here’s the thing, your looks could get a guy’s attention for a few seconds, but that’s all the advantage you can get with appearances!

Things guys notice in a girl beyond looks

If you want a catch a guy’s eye beyond just mere appearances, and get him interested in you even though there are several girls around you, all you need to focus on are the little things that always draws a guy.

If you play your cards right, you’d be able to grab any guy’s attention and get him to notice you within seconds, and make him fall for you in minutes!

12 things guys like in a girl besides her appearance

You don’t really need to focus a lot on appearances, but then again, having a great body and a cute face will only make the game of attracting guys a lot easier for you. But beyond physical attraction, keep these 12 perfect girl traits in mind. As long as you use these things to your advantage, you’ll surely catch all the eyes you want to catch in no time!

#1 Femininity. Femininity is the greatest asset of every girl. And it’s a trait that no masculine guy can resist. Contrary to the belief of many girls, don’t ever assume that displaying your femininity is a sign of weakness or the weaker sex. You can be feminine and girly, and still in control of every situation.

#2 Playfulness. In every successful relationship, playfulness is a trait that plays a big part in it. Be a happy and fun loving girl who’s alive and the centre of attention in her world. Guys love a girl who is playful and cheerful. And they absolutely hate girls who are constantly stressed or unhappy and depressed. Laugh, have a sense of humour and tease the guy you like. He’ll be smitten by you in no time!

#3 Expressions. A pretty face is blank and meaningless without its expressions. Make eye contact with the guy as you talk to him. Smile mischievously when you say something naughty, roll your eyes when he acts like an idiot, and smile genuinely when you’re talking to him. The way you smile, use your eyes and your voice to express yourself will leave him mesmerised by you.

Just think of Rachel McAdams and the way she uses her voice and her expressions while talking. She’s cute, funny and oh-so-sexy, isn’t she?

#4 Self esteem. Fall in love with who you are, and respect yourself for the person you are. Self respect and self worth play a big part in your attitude towards the world, and the way the world sees you. Focus on your talents and trust your intuition. Don’t change who you are, unless you think you can be a better person. Believe in yourself, and you won’t put yourself down in front of a guy just to impress him.

#5 Intelligence. Men who are secure about themselves *the only kind of guys you should date!* don’t feel threatened by a woman who’s intelligent and aware of the world. In fact, guys love a girl who can have an intelligent conversation with them about worldly affairs.

You can look pretty and catch his eye, but if you can’t hold onto a conversation with him, he’d just look at you as his arm candy and not someone he can fall in love with. But you need to keep this in mind, use your intelligence in a cooperative manner, not in a competitive way or that would just lead to ego clashes and angry confrontations.

#6 Self reliance. Guys want to feel like the protectors, and they want to take care of their woman. It’s what evolution has taught them. When you make a guy feel like you need him, he falls more in love with you. But at the same time, there’s a thin line between making him feel wanted and coming across as a clingy girlfriend.

Be independent and in control of your own life. Ask a guy for help when he’s around, but when you’re on your own, let this guy see that you’re capable of running your own life without his help. It’ll draw him closer to you and make him want to be more involved in your life.

#7 Confidence. Your confidence shows off who you are, and just how much you control your own life. If you want to impress a guy, let him see you as a girl who truly knows just how good she is. Don’t be a doormat or accept anything he says just to please him.

#8 Your attitude. Guys are instantly attracted to kindness. And beyond mere physical traits, how kind and considerate a girl is plays a big part in the game of attraction. Do you consider yourself to be a kind person, or one who’s opinionated and arrogant? If the world sees you as arrogant, perhaps it’s time you let them see your kinder side. The world will love you for it.

#9 Fragrance. This is a sneaky little tip that can work wonders for you. Smell great around the guy you’re trying to impress. Each time he gets a waft of your fragrance as you walk past him or move your hands while gesticulating something, he’ll feel just a little weaker, and a lot more attracted to you!

#10 Inner beauty. You may think a guy falls in love with a girl based on her physical appearances. But truth be told, he falls in love with the projection of what the girl feels about herself. The glow of sex appeal and beauty comes from within. If you don’t feel pretty when you look into the mirror, how can you expect others to find you attractive? It only takes a minute or less for inner beauty to kick in and work its magic when you’re talking to a guy.

While talking to some guy for the first time, did it ever feel like he was more attractive than you initially thought as soon as you started talking to him? Or on the other hand, have you spoken to a guy who seemed like he was really good looking until you started talking to him, and he started to progressively get worse looking until you just weren’t interested in talking to him anymore? That’s inner beauty, and it’s something everyone notices in you even if you don’t see it yourself.

#11 Healthy glow. Girls with that healthy, glowing skin always look more attractive than all the other girls, even if they don’t have a perfect figure. Eat healthy and try to keep yourself stress free, and look after your skin. And most importantly, work out. Sweating during a regular workout will give your skin a more flushed and radiant appearance. And it’ll work wonders when you’re staring at a guy from across the room.

#12 Zest for life. Do you love life? Do you think you’re spontaneous and alive? Guys love a girl who’s full of boundless energy and always ready for a new adventure. If a guy stares at a group of girls, the first one that catches his eye and interests him is the one who is energetic and fun. Doesn’t that mean something?!

Physical attractiveness definitely does play a part in attraction. But if you want to hold his attention beyond the first glance, keep these 12 things guys like in a girl besides her appearance in mind. It’ll definitely do more than just get you a second glance!

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Thursday, 23 July 2015

Can you Fall in Love with Someone You’ve Never Met?

By Jane Zita Fry

The random email came out of nowhere from a guy who claimed his name was Gary and that he had seen a picture of me – he introduced himself very formally, my reply was just as formal but somewhere in cyberspace formal turned into less formal and I was hooked!

I had never met this guy, yet I couldn’t concentrate on my work, I checked my email account every 5 minutes and spent hours composing replies, reading and re reading to make sure they sounded just right, my tummy had permanent butterflies and my heart beat so fast I could barely breathe! – Nothing wrong in any of that I hear you say, loads of couples meet day in day out on the internet but the difference is I am married, but this didn’t seem to deter me it was as if something had taken over a part of my brain and I couldn’t stop it.

Couples relationship expert Peter Barnes told us “The online environment is the perfect breeding ground for fantasies because it allows us to ascribe all the wonderful qualities we want in a partner to someone we’ve never met.”

And this is exactly what was happening with me. I wanted someone who understood me, who listened when I talked about my work, life and my children, someone who the thought of his touch burnt me up, the thought of his kiss made my knees weak…and oh my, the thought of him holding me in his arms was just too good to be true. I could tell him my weaknesses and he made me feel strong, my faults and he thinks that they are cute and I’m wonderful. How can someone I’ve never met make me feel so happy and fulfilled?

The emails continued, pictures were exchanged my fantasies now had a face. I walked around in a bubble unaware of life happening around me, he told me he worked for a very well known company that had offices all over the world! How ideal was that I started thinking, if I were to meet up with him it wouldn’t be too difficult because he wasn’t in the country that often, it was ideal. My fantasies just grew I imagined myself becoming a major part of his life, I pictured myself leaving my husband and travelling the world with Gary, in my mind it all seemed plausible! We had so much in common; it was as if he had been moulded just for me.

The email came that I couldn’t breath at, he had to go to Monte Carlo for three days on business would I join him his exact words “I do have a proposal: I will be in Monte Carlo for a conference it is set over 3 days. Would you be able to join me? You would be on my guest list. I would be the perfect gentleman and it would be an amazing time. You would loose me for approximately 4-5 hours each day but shopping in Monte Carlo is a dream and champagne is a must. Have you been? I stay at the Fairmont as one of our executives owns half the Hotel chain. I also have to touch base with reality and I know you have a husband so I would not pressure you about this in any way.”

I was falling and falling for Gary in a big way, I started to plan in my mind how I could get away for those days to see him.

According to psychologist Patricia Campbell “falling in love with someone you’ve never met is basing a relationship on superficial experiences. You really don’t know much about that person other than whatever it is he/she has told you — and you have no proof to back it up. He/she could be very different in person.”

Had I forgotten I was married? No, I felt I could justify my behavior because what was I actually doing? Emailing a guy I felt attracted to? I email guys all the time in my line of work anyway my husband has not been there for me over the years, and Gary reminded me of my husband and how we used to be together. I wanted to feel like that all the time.

My blackberry pinged with an email, he was back in England for a day and we could meet for coffee……Oh God I couldn’t breath I was finally going to meet the man who had distracted my life for two weeks (WOW was that all it was), I kept setting the scene in my head what would I wear? What would I say? What if he went to kiss me (I am married and whilst flirting over the internet is one thing having physical contact is another!)

The day finally came, we had arranged to meet in a coffee shop halfway between my town and his, the whole journey I felt physically sick – I had told my husband I was meeting a friend, when I arrived at the destination my apprehension was indescribable, he was already inside waiting for me, raising from his chair as I walked through the door with a heart melting smile on his lips. I reached the table he was just as tall as he had said, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for what seemed an age but was really not.

We both sat down there was no awkwardness and we chatted about everything and nothing BUT it was different he was lovely, told me all the things I wanted to hear but now it was real and not a fantasy and I had a husband at home, my stomach wasn’t doing butterflies. I felt as if I was having coffee with a friend I hadn’t seen for ages, we had a lovely time but I didn’t have the undying urge to run off with him, I can’t say what it was, maybe there was an unconscious part of my brain reminding me I had a husband and children at home and in all reality I couldn’t leave everything and follow this man around the world and maybe just maybe if I wasn’t married it may have been different

For a while I got carried away and let the world of fantasy and reality blur into one, I showed my husband ALL the email correspondence between me and Gary, I expected him to be angry but he read the emails and broke down in tears admitting he wouldn’t have blamed me if I had left him. He admitted he knew he had neglected me over the years and not been the best husband, but he promised me that this was the jolt he needed to make him realise I was the love of his life and he didn’t want to loose me, he promised me he would change and he has, he treats me like a princess, is loving and caring to me and my family, he makes time for me and doesn’t go off for days sulking because he doesn’t like something I have said or done, we talk to each other and share our innermost thoughts and secrets, in fact our marriage is stronger and I am happier than ever, and as for Gary we occasionally send catch up emails and if someone like him emailed me now my reply……….”Thank you for the compliment but I am happily married!”

I was lucky, many polls indicate that seemingly innocent online friendships often develop into intense emotional and physical affairs that can devastate marriages, so think very carefully before engaging in something that may initially seem completely harmless.

View original article here

Thursday, 4 June 2015

23 Tips To Blow Away 1st Date Stress!

You're excited, nervous, doubtful, hopeful, ambivalent, hesitant, happy...

These are just a few of the thoughts and emotions most people experience when preparing for a first date.

Dating should be fun! Whether you are just starting out, dating again for the first time after many years or somewhere in-between, there are universal concerns that many share.

If you're looking for advice and suggestions on what you should or shouldn't do read no further. You won't find them here.

Prefer to craft your own opinions rather than taking those of well meaning friends, family and article writers? Identify your needs and desires ahead of time. Remove stress and empower yourself. Take control ... read on!

No one can predict how a first date will turn out. There are simply too many variables. I'd like to make one suggestion for your consideration. Be your authentic self!Don't create a false first date persona that you will have to maintain if all goes well.

Here are some questions to ponder before your first encounter. Thinking ahead goes a long way towards reducing dating anxiety.

What if anything do I owe a first date?
Will I have to break the ice by starting the conversation? If so, what will I say?
How do I respond if he starts with a question I'm uncomfortable answering?
What amount of information should I share ... tell him I've been married before, have children, am widowed...?

Should I mention my kids?

Should I talk about my ex? Discuss my children showing pictures I really love?
What should I absolutely, positively not reveal?
Am I comfortable discussing political or religious views?
What questions can I ask that will reveal her real personality and disposition?
What signs will show me this guy is a real jerk?
What about questions of views on sex ... am I OK talking about them?
Suppose I'm only physically attracted ... do I consider a second date?
What if he's 20 years older than his Internet picture or she's 25 pounds heavier?
What if he seems nice with good values but a bit dull ... not exactly my type but a decent guy ... do I give him another chance and see what develops?
How can I politely show I'm not interested?
If she really turns me on do I tell her?
How can I make sure I'm not showing too much interest so I don't scare him off?
What if I suspect he's being a little bit phony ... how important is that ... am I being my real self?
If she offers to split the bill or pay how do I handle it?
What do I say if I don't want to see her again ... do I take her number?

What criteria will I use to determine if I want to see him/her again?

How do I communicate that I really like him and want to ensure a second date?
What if I'm totally ambivalent and not sure if I want to see him again?
Will I consider dating someone I'm not romantically interested in simply to share some companionship?

Do any of these questions sound familiar? Are there a bunch more you can add?

Remove the stress associated with a first date!

Before you agree to meeting give thought to the questions above and any others that come to mind.

Take the time to examine but not obsess about what you are looking for in a first date. It will remove a tremendous amount of worry and anxiety which often doom an initial meeting from the get go.

Give some thought to your expectations beforehand then realize it's simply one date. It might be fantastic, mediocre or a disaster. Whatever the outcome ... you'll survive!

Sometimes things just happen and begin to take on a life of their own. That's fate. Go with the flow!

Think, hope, be yourself and visualize a positive outcome ... but make sure you have a good escape plan ready just in case you need it!

View the original article here

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Friday, 10 October 2014

How to Keep Stress from Ruining Your Relationship

Sometimes life can get so stressful, it feels like your mind is a pressure cooker about to boil over. That tension doesn't just affect you! In news that will surprise no one who's snapped at their partner after a hellish day, experiencing routine stress can negatively affect a relationship, according to new research.

A team of study authors from Monmouth University and Ursinus College assigned 120 study participants to high or low stress situations. Under a time limit, those in the low stress condition solved simple math problems while those in the high dealt with much more complex ones (I'm nervous just thinking about it!). Then they listed as many compliments they could come up with about their partners in two minutes. The researchers used that number to gauge how much participants cared about keeping their relationships positive.

The researchers also told the participants they could have as many one-on-one "get to know you/acquaintance building exercises" with as many people as they wanted from a pool of 12 single, physically attractive individuals. The point of this exercise was to measure how much attention they paid to romantic alternatives.

The participants who were stressed gave 15 percent fewer compliments and chose nearly 20 percent more attractive partners to interact with than those who were more relaxed. Less compliments translates into less nurturing of a relationship, while paying more attention to other romantic options means....well, I think that's obvious.

So, how can you keep stress from coming at your relationship like a wrecking ball? Try these tactics:

Perform Small Gestures. When you get into that strained headspace and know you may get testy with your guy, do something small and kind for him instead. Maybe grab his favorite ice cream on your way home from work, or randomly tell him something he's done lately that has impressed you. His gratitude is like positive reinforcement: when you're sweet to him, you get sweetness back. You'll realize how much worse of a time you'd have if you'd gone with your first instinct to be unpleasant.

Take a Break. If you feel the devil on your shoulder getting ready to rumble, just walk away. Taking a pause to let yourself simmer down is key. You'll realize that no, your boyfriend isn't being a colossal jerk, you're actually still pissed about how your boss spoke down to you in front of your colleagues. Once you're able to find the root of your bad mood, you won't feel as inclined to take it out on your guy.

Exercise. What better way to release aggression than an intense kickboxing class? Or to calm you down than some quality Pilates? A good sweat session is an easy way to boost your mood. Bonus: it'll release endorphins that will have you craving a different kind of workout. Together. In bed.

Have a Mantra. Choose two simple sayings that will ground you when you feel like your head's about to spin off. The first you'll say to yourself when you feel like you're neglecting your relationship in the form of giving less compliments or being overly critical. It can be something like, "I care about Nick so much, and my job already affects my life in such a negative way. I won't let it influence our relationship, too." Then pick another you can actually say out loud to your partner like, "I'm sorry I'm getting like this. It's unfair, and I shouldn't take my stress out on you." Voila!

How do you keep stress from affecting your relationship too much?

View the original article here

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

The Sound of Hot: Attracted to a Sexy Voice?

The Sound of Hot

From the ancient Greek sirens to crooner Barry White to Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o, artists and lovers have long recognized the seductive powers of the human voice. But scientists are only beginning to discover just how closely linked voice and attraction may be. Among other things, recent studies suggest that men generally prefer women with higher-pitched voices, and women like their men with lower-pitched voices — though not too low, and it helps if they’re saying nice things.

As any teenage boy knows, voices, like hairlines, tend to change over time, and those ch-ch-changes can either enhance or lower your appeal in the ears of the opposite sex. For example, women’s voices tend to be most attractive at the time of ovulation, when they’re most fertile, and least attractive during menstruation, when the possibility of conception is lowest. And confident voices are attractive voices, so guys, lower your pitch and say those nice things with confidence.

But it goes beyond the pitch of your voice. Both men and women appear capable of matching speakers’ voices and photographs with astounding accuracy (75 percent of the time in one study). And those deemed to have attractive voices also tend to have other attractive features, such as broad shoulders in men and narrow waists in women. Men and women with attractive voices also tend to have more sexual partners and to lose their virginity at a younger age.

It remains to be seen whether any of the above will alter behavior among the exploding community of online daters. But if voice is such an important barometer, perhaps you should consider arranging those first dates over the phone and not by text or email. And maybe you should be taking voice lessons instead of hitting the gym.

What about you...
– can you tell if you will find someone physically attractive merely by hearing his or her voice? We asked people in New York, Manila and London to tell us what they think.

View the original article here

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Taking the Dating Temperature

"How do you assess when things are stuck, versus moving slowly forward? How long is “long enough” to give someone?"

“Long enough” is not something that exists on a calendar timetable. We’ll explain:

In general, physical attraction often grows between daters, usually over the first several dates. As a man and woman begin to feel more comfortable with each other, they're often able to let go of their preference for a particular "look" and start to become accustomed to their date's features. They realize that the other person's looks have "grown" on them, and can see him or her as "pretty," "cute," “handsome" or "attractive."

Sometimes, the attraction never develops. The daters may feel they're connecting on a personal level, but one or both of them can't seem to feel physical attraction. They're not comfortable with the other person's looks, or the idea of being physically intimate makes them uncomfortable. That's often an indication that they're not right for each other for the long term, because physical attraction is an essential element in marriage.

However, in a few relationships, something external gets in the way of developing feelings of attraction for the other person. For example, some are comfortable with their partner's looks, yet worry that they don't feel "fireworks" or passion, or because their date does not have model-like features. This is where TV, movies, and print advertisements have done a job by giving us unrealistic expectations of what attraction should be.

In truth, attraction is not predicated on thinking our partner is one of the best looking people on the planet, nor on feeling "fireworks.”

We’re sometimes too worried that our friends will think less of us.

Sometimes, a dater can be blocked from realizing or developing attraction when she hasn't resolved an issue that bothers her about the relationship. We sometimes see this when a dater likes the other person and is comfortable when they're together, but is afraid how friends will react when they see the couple together. "It doesn't bother me that he's a little socially awkward"… "he's losing his hair"… "he's a little overweight… but I'm worried that my friends will think less of me because of this." She can get past this fear by understanding that as her friends get to know this man, they'll begin to see him as a whole person and in turn will view the two of them as a "good" couple. That can lead to her feeling better about his looks and acknowledging that she is attracted to him.

Opening Things Up

Your discomfort with your date's lack of confidence may be keeping you from feeling attraction for him. You also may be holding back because you aren't sure that he's interested in moving in the same direction as you, and this is a way to keep yourself from becoming hurt or disappointed. We agree with your instinctual feeling that this courtship may be stuck in the same place for too long.

Since this man is so shy, it will be up to you to take the initiative to move things along.

You can start by encouraging him to vary the types of things you do together. Since you have common interests, find some interactive activities that relate to those interests. That's a good way to see different sides of each other. Make sure to have fun together. Introduce each other to some of the hobbies and activities you don't share, and talk about what it was like to experience something new.

What does he excel in? What strengths does he have? What can you do together that will focus on these strengths and abilities? This can help both of you – it can help you grow in your respect and admiration for him. It can also help him feel better about himself, because people strengthen their self-esteem by experiencing competence.

View the original article here