How to Make Love to a Woman, As Told by a Woman

"This has the makings of a good time, but it would be interesting to hear the opinions of all you men out there"       -   Susan

How to Make Love to a Woman, As Told by a Woman

Wild sex is fun from time to time, but making love can be just what both of you need. Find out how to make love to a woman from a woman.

Women love slow, romantic sex. In other words, we love when a man makes love to us. Forget banging, getting laid, getting it on, and all of those different ways to have sex. We often love the caring nature of making love more than any of that.

This is a lot different that your average male because their instincts most often drive them in the direction of hot, steamy, rough sex. That being said, they don’t exactly know how to make love the way a woman might like it best.

How making love is different than your average sex

They don’t just call it “making love” for no reason. This type of sex is much different from your average romp in the sheets. There’s a lot more care and emotion involved in making love than just taking off your clothes and going at it.

This doesn’t mean that every time you have sex with someone you love it has to be categorized as making love. In fact, this type of love should be saved for special occasions because it is such an intimate act.

How to make love to a woman

Making love to a woman is not an easy task, and most men need some direction. Who better to get that from than a woman herself? If you want to make love to a woman and really show her how you truly feel about her through sex, this is how you should do it.

#1 Take it seriously. I know that making jokes and being silly can really ease the seriousness of sex and make it light and fun. However, if you want to really find out how to make love to a woman, you’ll want to be serious about it.

Set the jokes and funny antics aside for the night and put on a more serious, intimate tone. Not only will she be able to feel the difference in your emotional state during sex, but she’ll also be able to feel just how serious you are about HER, and that will translate into some great lovemaking. 

#2 Foreplay should be emotional. Normally, your foreplay might be intense and physical… at least I hope it is. When you get to the foreplay portion when you’re trying to make love to a woman, though, it has to be a lot more emotional than it is physical.

This doesn’t just start when you get home. This should be started during the day with sweet, loving text messages sent her way. This kind of foreplay really speaks to her emotional side and will get her in the romantic mood for some fantastic sex later on. 

#3 The entire evening should be romantic. You can’t just make the sex romantic and call it making love. You have to set up the entire mood for lovemaking in order to successfully make love to your woman.

Try having a delicious and decadent dinner that’s lowly lit with a lot of conversation surrounding your feelings for her. You’ll get bonus points if you cook the meal yourself. 

#4 Make sure the lighting is dim. To set the mood for making love to a woman, you’ll have to keep the lighting very dim and sultry.

I suggest lighting some candles to give the kind of atmosphere that fosters those sexy shadows you sometimes see in movies. The second she sees the candles, she’ll know that this is a day for lovemaking and not just sex.

#5 Throw on some slow, sexy music. None of that grinding, thumping music that initiates the fasat-paced sex you’re so used to. Set up the mood with some slow jazz or other mood music with a slower and sexier pace.

This will not only remind you of the mood you’re trying to build, but it’ll also keep your sex slow and romantic, just as it should be when you’re trying to make love. 

#6 Pamper her. There’s nothing that will make her feel more loved than pampering her in every way you can. This means choosing your dinner food based on what you know she loves, giving her a hot oil massage, and just telling her how beautiful she is in every way.

If you know that she loves something in particular that really helps her to unwind and relax, make sure you do it for her.

#7 Pick the best place. Now, this doesn’t mean you should book a hotel room or try to get frisky outside. Actually, making love is most effective when done in your own home. It’s much more personal that way.

However, you can decide where in your home is the most romantic place to do the deed. If the bedroom is the nicest and cosiest, do it there. If you have a fireplace and can lay down a blanket, that could make for an extremely romantic and intimate setting.

#8 Pick the right positions for intimate contact. Doggy style is not a good position to go for when you’re making love to a woman. It’s very primal and detached, and that’s exactly the opposite of what you want when lovemaking.

A huge part of how to make love to a woman involves trying positions that are face-to-face and therefore perfect for the closest contact. Missionary and spooning are two of the best positions when you want to make love.

#9 Make it more about her. This doesn’t just mean pampering her. This means actually making the sex more about her feelings than yours. For guys, it’s easy to get off after a little while, but women typically take more time.

So focus the sex on her pleasure this time. Spend some time giving her some much-appreciated oral, and focus on getting her off before you finish.

#10 Tell her how much you care about her. And do so while you’re having sex. It can be a bit challenging for a guy to open up about his feelings for the one he loves, especially during sex, but it can be a small touch that can make the world of difference for her. Something as simple as, “You make me so happy,” can do wonders.

#11 Take the time to cuddle afterwards. Making love to a woman doesn’t just mean having sex. It means making sure she feels loved and cared for during the entirety of the sex act—and yes, that includes afterwards.

You can’t successfully make love to a woman without spending cuddle time with her after sex. This is perfect for making her feel the love even after the sex has ended, ensuring that she truly feels appreciated for more than just her body. 

Knowing how to make love to a woman is much more than simply perfecting your moves and doing the deed. There’s a lot more that goes into true lovemaking that only a woman shed some light on.

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3 things lasting relationships have in common

The three main ingredients for a lasting relationship may surprise you because they’re not love, sex or money...

The Beatles sang that you “all you need is love”. But if that’s all you have, chances are that your relationship may struggle to go the distance – that’s what the love scientists and researchers are saying, based on several studies.

 

If couples want to last the 50 years to celebrate their golden anniversary, they need to bring more pragmatic stuff to the relationship than just the sparkly, shiny feeling of being in love. So what are two of the main ingredients in the recipe for everlasting togetherness?

 

The answer is commitment and space, according to two studies. These attributes may not be romantic or earth-moving, but experts say that mixed with generous dollops of respect, caring and affection, they can help your relationship shuffle happily into the twilight years.

 

 

1. A commitment to going the distance

The median age for divorce in Australia has been rising steadily for two decades and is now 41.3 years for women and 44.2 for men. In 2006, a third of divorces occurred in marriages of 20 years or more at a stage in life when many would feel the real hard work of raising kids, establishing careers and paying off mortgages could be behind them.

 

So why are these long relationships busting open just when they can see the light of good times ahead? The Relationship Institute at UCLA in the US says it boils down to the level of commitment to the relationship that couples take into the marriage at the start. Researchers followed 172 newlyweds for 11 years and found that the marriages that went the distance – 78.5 per cent – were made up of couples who were willing to “make sacrifices” for the sake of the marriage.

 

The researchers said the couples with successful relationships were committed not only to each other but to the overarching relationship, and were determined to protect it.

 

Relationship educator and counsellor Denise Reichenbach, of Relationships Australia, uses an analogy in which the relationship is the roof of a building and the couple are individual pillars working as a team to keep the roof from caving in.

 

She agrees that while love is important – and being in love is likely what got the whole thing started in the first place – a successful relationship that lasts for decades requires a commonsense approach and an initial deep and real commitment to making it work in good times and bad.

 

“The relationship is the higher shared goal,” Reichenbach says. “With couples making a commitment to doing what they have to do to keep it strong. It’s about putting the relationship first and facing the unavoidable reality that it can’t always be smooth sailing and good times.”

 

>>7 Keys to good loving

 

 

2. A healthy amount of space

In a US study on couples, twice as many were unhappy with their lack of privacy and space than their sex lives, according to psychologist Terri Orbuch, a research professor at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research and author of 5 Simple Steps To Take Your Marriage From Good To Great (Delacorte Press).

 

Orbuch found that 29 per cent of spouses said they didn’t have enough “privacy or time for self” in their relationship, with more wives than husbands reporting not having enough space. The importance of space, she says, is that it gives people time to process thoughts, pursue hobbies and relax without responsibilities to others.

 

Reichenbach agrees that it’s important to allow partners to also pursue their own dreams, too. “Not every goal can be a joint one,” she says. “A relationship needs to have the trust and respect within it to allow each person to also be individuals.”

 

 

>>"What turns you on?"

 

 

3. Being affectionate

Cuddling and caressing were found to be more important ingredients for couple’s long-term commitment in a 2011 study by the Kinsey Institute in the US, which looked at relationship and sexual satisfaction. And contrary to stereotypes, tenderness was found to be more important to the men than the women.

 

Another interesting finding was that women’s sexual satisfaction within the relationship grew over time, with those who’d been with their partner for less than 15 years less likely to report sexual satisfaction than those who’d been with their partner for more than 15 years.

 

b+s sex and relationship expert Dr Gabrielle Morrissey insists that while relationships can survive without sex, this physical intimacy is what most people “signed up for” when they started the relationship.

 

“Sex can be the glue that keeps a couple together or feeling connected – it can be what helps them feel bonded, despite the challenges in their everyday life,” Morrissey says. “Without it, they often grow apart. Couples who enjoy a regular sex life, tend to nag less, fight less and feel as if they have an ally in their life, no matter the problems.”

 

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couples cuddling in bed

How To Avoid Trapped Arm Whilst Cuddling In Bed

Here VideoJug helps you to avoid trapping your arm after a nice little cuddle in bed. Take a look at our very own Cuddling Karma Sutra and learn how to avoid trapped arm whilst cuddling in bed.

 

The Cuddling Karma Sutra

Step 1: The Classic Spoon

Falling asleep in the 'spoons' position is likely to result in a trapped arm for 'Mr. Spoon'- (i.e., the one doing the cuddling), as he will have less space to position the lower arm comfortably. It is his arm that will go dead, while his partner drifts off into a beautifully secure and comfortable reverie. The only merit of this position is that 'Ms. Spoon' is likely to fall asleep quickly, giving you the chance to take evasive action.

To remove your arm without waking her, hold her close and gently roll her away from you, moving with her rather than pushing her away. Once she is re-positioned comfortably, roll yourself back to your original position and you should find you have the freedom to remove your arm easily.

Step 2: The Shoulder Roll

If the Classic Spoon isn't working, turn your body towards your partner and rest your upper arm round your partner's waist and your lower arm behind you. Your arm position means you are leaning on your partner for support.

One potential issue is that if you are much larger than her, you might crush her, but at least you'll sleep well.

Step 3: The Superman

If the Shoulder Roll isn't comfortable, try a technique that takes a little forethought and planning. You need to position the pillows lower down the bed than usual. Now assume The Classic Spoon position, but move the problematic lower arm above you, under the pillow and out the other side so it is stretched over your head. You are now in the Superman flying position. This has advantages- if you can't sleep you can pretend to be Superman. Or if this doesn't appeal, you can use the outstretched arm for texting, playing computer games or reading French poetry... all while she is sleeping.

Step 4: The star gazer

Legend tells of a really comfortable fleshy bit to the side of a man's chest. How fleshy and how comfortable depends on the size of the man.

So take advantage of this by forgetting the spoons positions above, and lie on your back. Now encourage her to find your fleshy bit with her head, and use it as a pillow. Intimacy? Check! Comfort? Check! This position could be a winner.

Please note that to increase the size of your fleshy bit, you may need to eat a lot of junk food and cut down on exercise. All for her sake, what a perfect boyfriend you are.

Step 5: The pragmatic approach

If all else fails, initiate a massive argument before you go to sleep, so your partner won't want to be anywhere near you. Have some flowers and croissants ready to make up in the morning, and prepare for 8 hours of dreamless, pain-free shut-eye… on the sofa.

View the original article here