Online Date with Fish2Fish: foreplay

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Monday, 18 July 2016

How to Make Love to a Woman, As Told by a Woman

"This has the makings of a good time, but it would be interesting to hear the opinions of all you men out there" - Susan

How to Make Love to a Woman, As Told by a Woman

Wild sex is fun from time to time, but making love can be just what both of you need. Find out how to make love to a woman from a woman.

Women love slow, romantic sex. In other words, we love when a man makes love to us. Forget banging, getting laid, getting it on, and all of those different ways to have sex. We often love the caring nature of making love more than any of that.

This is a lot different that your average male because their instincts most often drive them in the direction of hot, steamy, rough sex. That being said, they don’t exactly know how to make love the way a woman might like it best.

How making love is different than your average sex

They don’t just call it “making love” for no reason. This type of sex is much different from your average romp in the sheets. There’s a lot more care and emotion involved in making love than just taking off your clothes and going at it.

This doesn’t mean that every time you have sex with someone you love it has to be categorized as making love. In fact, this type of love should be saved for special occasions because it is such an intimate act.

How to make love to a woman

Making love to a woman is not an easy task, and most men need some direction. Who better to get that from than a woman herself? If you want to make love to a woman and really show her how you truly feel about her through sex, this is how you should do it.

#1 Take it seriously. I know that making jokes and being silly can really ease the seriousness of sex and make it light and fun. However, if you want to really find out how to make love to a woman, you’ll want to be serious about it.

Set the jokes and funny antics aside for the night and put on a more serious, intimate tone. Not only will she be able to feel the difference in your emotional state during sex, but she’ll also be able to feel just how serious you are about HER, and that will translate into some great lovemaking.

#2 Foreplay should be emotional. Normally, your foreplay might be intense and physical… at least I hope it is. When you get to the foreplay portion when you’re trying to make love to a woman, though, it has to be a lot more emotional than it is physical.

This doesn’t just start when you get home. This should be started during the day with sweet, loving text messages sent her way. This kind of foreplay really speaks to her emotional side and will get her in the romantic mood for some fantastic sex later on.

#3 The entire evening should be romantic. You can’t just make the sex romantic and call it making love. You have to set up the entire mood for lovemaking in order to successfully make love to your woman.

Try having a delicious and decadent dinner that’s lowly lit with a lot of conversation surrounding your feelings for her. You’ll get bonus points if you cook the meal yourself.

#4 Make sure the lighting is dim. To set the mood for making love to a woman, you’ll have to keep the lighting very dim and sultry.

I suggest lighting some candles to give the kind of atmosphere that fosters those sexy shadows you sometimes see in movies. The second she sees the candles, she’ll know that this is a day for lovemaking and not just sex.

#5 Throw on some slow, sexy music. None of that grinding, thumping music that initiates the fasat-paced sex you’re so used to. Set up the mood with some slow jazz or other mood music with a slower and sexier pace.

This will not only remind you of the mood you’re trying to build, but it’ll also keep your sex slow and romantic, just as it should be when you’re trying to make love.

#6 Pamper her. There’s nothing that will make her feel more loved than pampering her in every way you can. This means choosing your dinner food based on what you know she loves, giving her a hot oil massage, and just telling her how beautiful she is in every way.

If you know that she loves something in particular that really helps her to unwind and relax, make sure you do it for her.

#7 Pick the best place. Now, this doesn’t mean you should book a hotel room or try to get frisky outside. Actually, making love is most effective when done in your own home. It’s much more personal that way.

However, you can decide where in your home is the most romantic place to do the deed. If the bedroom is the nicest and cosiest, do it there. If you have a fireplace and can lay down a blanket, that could make for an extremely romantic and intimate setting.

#8 Pick the right positions for intimate contact. Doggy style is not a good position to go for when you’re making love to a woman. It’s very primal and detached, and that’s exactly the opposite of what you want when lovemaking.

A huge part of how to make love to a woman involves trying positions that are face-to-face and therefore perfect for the closest contact. Missionary and spooning are two of the best positions when you want to make love.

#9 Make it more about her. This doesn’t just mean pampering her. This means actually making the sex more about her feelings than yours. For guys, it’s easy to get off after a little while, but women typically take more time.

So focus the sex on her pleasure this time. Spend some time giving her some much-appreciated oral, and focus on getting her off before you finish.

#10 Tell her how much you care about her. And do so while you’re having sex. It can be a bit challenging for a guy to open up about his feelings for the one he loves, especially during sex, but it can be a small touch that can make the world of difference for her. Something as simple as, “You make me so happy,” can do wonders.

#11 Take the time to cuddle afterwards. Making love to a woman doesn’t just mean having sex. It means making sure she feels loved and cared for during the entirety of the sex act—and yes, that includes afterwards.

You can’t successfully make love to a woman without spending cuddle time with her after sex. This is perfect for making her feel the love even after the sex has ended, ensuring that she truly feels appreciated for more than just her body.

Knowing how to make love to a woman is much more than simply perfecting your moves and doing the deed. There’s a lot more that goes into true lovemaking that only a woman shed some light on.

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Saturday, 10 October 2015

Women Reveal What's Really Important When It Comes To Sex

"How sad it is to read that 40% of women in this survey were put off sex because of stress. In an ideal world it should be the other way around, sex should take your mind off the stresses in life." - Susan

Women Reveal What's Really Important When It Comes To Sex

There are plenty of misconceptions surrounding women when it comes to sex.

Some believe we have a lower libido, while others think we just don't orgasm as much as our male counterparts. It's pretty frustrating - namely because much of the time it's not true.

Now, one survey is hoping to set the record straight once and for all.

Women were asked to comment on their sexual experiences in terms of how often they orgasm, whether they have enough sex, and what is most important to them when it comes to love-making.

Interestingly, the study of 500 people found that - contrary to popular belief - most women orgasm, sometimes more than once, during each sexual encounter.

It also found that stress plays a huge role in dampening the mood.

The survey by fertility app Kindara found that more than half of women would like to have more sex.

Of those surveyed, 53.2% said they don't have sex as often as they would like to. Meanwhile nearly three quarters would like to engage in sexual activity more than three times per week.

It also discovered that plenty of women cherish emotional connection when it comes to sexy time, even above foreplay.

When women were asked to highlight the factors that deterred them from having sex, they revealed that stress was the biggest issue with 40% of women saying it put them off.

This was followed by feeling "out of sync" with their partner, not being in the mood and struggling with self image.

On a positive note, nearly 20% said there were no factors impacting their sex life.

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Thursday, 20 August 2015

15 Secrets Of Seriously Sexually Satisfied Long-Term Couples

Ahhh, the joys of a long-term relationship: Comfort, loyalty...and a sort-of-stale sex life. Not so fast. Staying together for the long haul doesn't necessarily mean action in the bedroom has to suffer. In fact, knowing each other so well can actually make things even hotter in that arena. Need proof? We spoke to real couples, all of whom have been together for 10 years or longer, and rank their sex lives very highly. Lucky for you, they were willing to share their secrets.

Secret #1: Put it on the calendar.

"My husband travels a lot for work,” says Marianne*, 39, who has been married for 15 years, "so we 'bookend' it. We have sex before he leaves and right when he gets back." Chet* and Tina*, 49 and 47 respectively, who have been together 16 years, also schedule sex when they have to travel. "If Tina is leaving for a trip, she'll stop by the house on her way to the airport from work to 'get some' before flying," says Chet, "or we'll plan to have sex after church if I have to leave on a Sunday."

Secret #2: Be candid.

"The secret to keeping sex exciting is making sure the lines of communication are open," says Alisa, 40, who has been married for 18 years. "Tony didn't always know how to give me an orgasm. When I made the decision to talk to him about what does work, we reached a whole new level of intimacy. I wasn't waiting for him to 'figure it out' anymore; sharing has made both of us better lovers."

Secret #3: Act like teenagers.

"We've been married for 11 years and have three children, but my husband and I still have fun, just like we did when we were dating," says Caroline*, 39. "We still 'do it' on the floor, even though we have a California King. Every now and then when he's working from home, I'll interrupt him in stilettos and a robe, or I'll quickly flash him when we're out and no one's looking. When he tries to playfully grope me I don't swat him away—it keeps the spark alive."

Secret #4: Let your mind be changed.

"Basically I'm the man in the relationship and just want to do 'wham bam thank you ma'am,' but my husband isn't like that," says Meredith*, 37, who has been married for 10 years. "Rich* is a generous lover. He takes his time and makes sure I’m enjoying myself. Once we get started, I tend to forget that I ever wanted a quickie."

Secret #5: Take risks.

"Some of our most mind-blowing sessions were essentially out in the open where we could have been caught," says Chet, 49, who has been with his wife for 16 years. "Once we were on vacation, taking advantage of two-for-one piña coladas while we watched the sunset. Next thing I knew, my wife was straddling me, bathing suit pushed aside, and we were looking out for people walking by!"

Secret #6: Share the responsibility.

"We take turns initiating sex," says Alisa, "because we've found that in most relationships only one person initiates and that can lead to a power struggle and feelings of rejection. We had to work out which days were better for us. Tony initiates Sunday through Tuesday and I'm on call Wednesday through Friday. Saturday is either a day of rest or a bonus day!"

Secret #7: Get inspired.

"I don't look at porn online," says Erika*, 32, who has been with her husband for 14 years, "but I will Google things like 'how to be more intimate with your husband.' " Adds Sharon*, 37, who has been married for 11 years, "I felt a lot friskier after my book club read Fifty Shades of Grey. A big part of the main character Christian Grey's method is keeping the girl waiting. Sometimes it would be all foreplay and then he wouldn't even have sex with her. I applied that concept to my sex life and have loved the longer build-up. The waiting makes the actual sex more satisfying."

Secret #8: Resist autopilot.

"Quantity has nothing to do with quality," says Patricia, 50, who has been married for 14 years. "My husband and I continue to find new levels of intensity. For us, it's about treating sex as an opportunity to discover something new. The key to having a fulfilling long-term sex life is to shift your focus away from excitement, and focus instead on the richness and texture in every experience. There's always the potential to be surprised."

Secret #9: Challenge yourselves.

"For the first 11 years of marriage, things were just okay," says Alisa. "We were more like roommates raising children together than lovers. Then, after hearing about other couples doing similar things, we embarked on a Sixty Days of Sex challenge. The result of putting each other first continues to impact our sex life today. Now we have sex at least twice a week, and we talk about sex more—what we like, what feels good. We flirt with each other more."

Secret #10: Know each other's likes.

"We know what the other likes and provide it," says Chet. "There are certain things that make each of us ecstatic, but we don't do them every time we make love. That's what makes them special." Adds Patricia: "It's great to have a 'bag of tricks' that you know will work most of the time, but beyond that, familiarity with your partner's sexuality gives you a template to work from. It's like learning to write a sonnet: Once you have the formula, you can create something beautiful."

Secret #11: Compliment each other.

"I remember gaining 40 pounds with my first pregnancy and feeling so unattractive," says Sharon, "but my sweet husband still wanted to have sex with me, and always made a point of telling me how sexy and beautiful I was."

Secret #12: Work through it.

"There was a time when I felt like sex was a one-way street, but it turns out our problems stemmed from issues outside the bedroom," says Erika. "My husband was worried about finances and other things that took his mind off sex completely. That bothered me and made me feel like I wasn't good enough, but we tackled those issues head on. Now we're past that, and our sex life is great again."

Secret #13: Get rid of expectations.

"The first time we had sex, Tina put so much pressure on herself to please me that it didn't work out," says Chet. "Now we know each other so well that we can just have fun. Sex is never a chore. Sometimes we laugh so hard we have to stop, and that's okay. And some of our most intimate moments are us simply lying in bed together entwined."

Secret #14: Don't go from 0 to 60.

"My wife's feet are an incredibly powerful erogenous zone and a foot rub with lotion is sometimes more stimulating to her than when I go down on her," explains Chet. Adds Patricia, "My husband and I usually take a bath together to transition into sex."

Secret #15: Embrace your age.

"Being body confident can be challenging as you age," says Olivia*, 45, "but I think this is when the long-term trust component comes into play. We've been together for 11 years and made a healthy, happy sex life a priority early on in our relationship. We agreed that though growing older may mean learning new ways to have good sex—creaky joints and all—we are not willing to give up or settle for anything less." Jennifer, 41, who has been with her husband for 15 years, agrees. "We don't stress about our bodies. In fact, we laugh about the crazy sounds they make!"

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Saturday, 8 August 2015

15 Phobias Destined To Ruin Your Love Life

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition a phobia is: "an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation." The symptoms of such an intense fear can result from anywhere from a dry mouth and shortness of breath to chest pain, a racing heart, vomiting, and even an inability to speak. Basically, it's the worst possible panic attack of your life.

There are some weird phobias out there, like things that wouldn’t even cross your mind that someone could possibly have a fear of them. For example oneirogmophobia — ever heard of it? It's the fear of wet dreams. Yes, there are people walking around this planet with a debilitating fear of wet dreams! Really! I'm not lying! Although that may seem a bit funny, phobias are no laughing matter. In fact, some can actually stand in the way of love, as 36-year-old Brit, Erica Valentine, has discovered.

Valentine, contrary to her name, has such an intense fear of kissing that she hasn't had a date in two years, and a long line of failed relationships because she just can't bring herself to lock lips with anyone. Her obsession with oral hygiene is so all-consuming that not only is she constantly inquiring about the last time a potential lover has brushed their teeth, but she, herself, brushes her own teeth five or six times a day. I can’t imagine that's very good for the gums, but I'm no dentist.

But this isn't the only phobia that could possibly ruin your love life; there are actually quite a few others. Starting with Valentine's philemaphobia, let's cover what other fears could be putting a damper on your chances at love.phobias-destined-ruin-your-love-life

1. Philemaphobia: Fear Of Kissing

While for Valentine her philemaphobia seems to be really steeped in mouth germs, it’s not always the case. It’s also a fear of being subjected to bad breath, which, if you ask me, is totally reasonable.

2. Chiraptophobia: Fear Of Being Touched

If the thought of being hugged or being even remotely close to another human puts your head in a tailspin, then you may suffer from chiraptophobia. For some, the phobia is so intense that they can't even watch movies in which people touch each other, and they equate the touch of another as feeling like their skin is burning.

3. Mysophobia: Fear Of Germs

If your idea of affection is something out of the Howie Mandel book of human contact and only a fist bump will do, then you’re going to find it very difficult to get close to anyone and everyone, not just a potential partner. Unless you use latex gloves at all times, of course, and latex is a fetish for some, so that could actually work in your favour.

4. Genophobia: Fear Of Sex

Um, I really don't think we need to explain how this one is going to massively mess up your love life, so let's just move on, shall we.

5. Agoraphobia: Fear Of Leaving The House

Let's be honest, if you can't leave the house, how are you supposed to be meet anyone in the first place? Although agoraphobia is most commonly associated with the fear of leaving one's home, more specifically, it's a fear of crowds and being in situations that one can’t escape, like, oh I don't know… a first date maybe?

6. Omphalophobia: Fear Of Bellybuttons

If you're going to get naked, then you’re going to probably see a bellybutton or two. While you could cover up your own bellybutton with a Band-Aid, that still doesn’t get rid of the other bellybutton in the equation, so how are you going to explain that fear? If you can’t think of a witty response to that question, then I suggest you start courting Karolina Kurkova, because that beauty doesn't have a bellybutton.

7. Thyphallophobia - Fear Of An Erect Penis

Fear of seeing, considering about, or having an erect penis:

This phobia can hurt the sex life of the person suffering from the illness. This unwarranted fear causes an individual to avoid any and all subjects and situations that have to do with sex. Typically, those who suffer from this phobia have had a bad experience with the male penis at some point in their lives.

8. Cibophobia: Fear Of Food

One of the best parts about dating is going out to eat! What do you usually do on a first date? Go out to dinner! Second date? More dinner! The day you get married? Eat a five course meal! Food and love go hand-in-hand, so if you fear food, it's pretty hard to move forward in a relationship. I mean, what else are you supposed to do when you're together? Talk or something?

9. Metrophobia: Fear Of Poetry

Oh no! How else are you supposed to enjoy one of the greatest perks of someone being in love with you, if you can't stand poetry? The only thing better than regular ol’ poetry, is poetry written about YOU.

10. Sarmassophobia: Fear Of Foreplay

No, this one isn't just reserved for high school boys who just can't wait to come, but an actual phobia for people of both genders. But, hey, if you meet someone who likes to get in and get out, and skips all the "ooh la la," in the beginning, then you're in luck. And, yes, there are many of them out there.

11. Anuptaphobia - Fear Of Marrying

The Wrong Person: Ironically, anuptaphobia isn't just the fear of marrying the wrong person, but the fear of being single, which doesn't make any sense to me. Wouldn't you rather be single, than marry the wrong person?

12. Gamophobia - Fear Of Marriage:

If there's a fear of being single, then of course there's a fear of marriage, and I'm pretty sure 95% of the men I've ever known have had this phobia. Or maybe they just had it when it came to marrying me? Food for thought there, Chatel.

13. Arrhenphobia - Fear Of Men:

This one has got to totally suck, especially if you're a straight woman or gay man, but it's real. How the hell are you supposed to even get to the first date, if you're constantly in fear of men? Well, you can't.
Along the same vein is:

14. Venustraphobia, a fear of beautiful women.

If you suffer from this one, you can kiss your dreams of dating Angelina Jolie goodbye

.

15. Philophobia- Fear Of Falling In Love:

Probably the saddest one of all the phobias in the world is philophobia. Not only is it a fear of falling in love, but a fear of being in love, too. This phobia makes all the other phobias look like a piece of cake.

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Saturday, 1 August 2015

Quickies, Tantra & Kink: The Different Kinds of Sex Every Couple Needs

Couples often wonder what kids of sex everyone else is having, and is the sex they are having "enough"? Not only in terms of frequency, but also in terms of the kinds of sex to be having. After all, couples don't want to miss out, if there's great sex out there to be had!

In terms of positions, there are many in the world - thousands of books beginning with the tao of sex and the Kama Sutra have been written and no doubt blogs and books about sexual positions will continue to be written. People love to explore their bodies and pathways to pleasure with one another. But sex isn't only about the position and the frequency. Generally speaking there are categories of sex, all of which keep your sex life spicy, varied and stimulating. Just as you wouldn't eat the same meal for dinner every night, or even eat only the same dessert, or listen to one song on a loop for years on end, sex needs some variety to keep it interesting - and that means changing it up more than how often you do it or who is on top.

Here sexologist Dr Gabrielle Morrissey lists the the types of sex you should have for a healthy, balanced and spicy sex life.

Quickie sex

Fast is not a bad word. It's just bad if it's the only word to describe your sex life. Sometimes, practically speaking, and for fun too, a quickie is just the thing to put some zip - or unzip - into your day!

Gourmet Sex

This is when you take longer and indulge in each other. Perhaps you play out a fantasy. Perhaps you start with a bath together and make an evening of it. Or maybe erotic massage is your thing. When you have longer than 30 minutes to spare, think about having long, drawn out sex that indulges your senses and stimulates you both from head to toe and everything in between.

No-sex sex

Sex without intercourse can often remind a couple what it was like at the beginning of their dating relationship, if they ever had a time when they weren't sexually intimate. But sex without intercourse also allows a couple to feel intimate without the pressure of penetration and intercourse, particularly if that has become a pattern. By having some sexual time together that doesn't involve intercourse, you become the ultimate creative couple in bed.

Morning sex

Testosterone levels tend to be highest in the morning and men, and women too, can feel a strong desire for sex in the morning. But often it isn't practical - the household is awake, the day feels like it must race on, work deadlines await, morning breath is, well, not the sexiest ... but all that aside, sometimes, it's the best way to start a day and feel loved and connected, rejuvenated and with an extra spark to you. Be open to it!

Kinky sex

Each couple needs to define kinky for themselves and kinky can mean different things at different ages and stages of a person's and couple's life. Experimentation helps couple to build on their intimacy and grow together ... and have fun together! Sex is your intimate recreation time together so try new things and laugh, or try new things and say, "Let's do that again!"

No orgasm sex

Have sex without the pressure of having an orgasm. It's okay to say that you don't climax every time, or that sometimes you just want to be generous to your partner, or be the receiver of some generous, lavish attention. There has been a great deal of pressure to define sex as "meeting the goal of orgasm" and preferably simultaneously that it takes some of the pleasure just purely from touching skin to skin and enjoying each other's touch for touch's sake, away. Sometimes, you can have foreplay or intercourse and orgasm doesn't have to be a goal

Spiritual sex

A lot of people are curious about things like tantric sex, which is, like other forms of "sacred sex", acknowledging the spiritual component of engaging with each other in a naked, intimate vulnerable way. Understanding as a couple that you choose to be this with one another, is not just a physical experience, but a deeply gratifying emotional one, and one all couples, however they do it, with feeling, will benefit from greatly, especially while they are naked. Emphasis is on breathing together, sharing your feelings, preparing a safe and loving, stimulating space for sex together and enjoying who your lover is, and not just how they touch you.

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