Showing posts with label kissing. Show all posts

Monday, 16 November 2015

4 Daily Habits That'll Completely REVOLUTIONISE Your Relationship

"Works for me!!! - Susan

You'll be well on your way to being THAT couple that always sits on the same side of the booth.

Sometimes you see couples that seem to click in a certain way. You never see them get frustrated with one another. They’re always kissing and touching in public. They constantly look like they’re having the most fun possible. I know… they’re the worst.

But the truth is, a lot of work goes on behind the scenes to get them to being in that kind of place every day. They aren’t going home, sitting in the dark and expressing their feelings to one another all night long. It’s actually a lot simpler than that.

When it comes to our intimate relationships, it’s the little things that make or break you.

On the negative side of things, the little things that bother you about your partner can pile up and eventually dissolve the relationship. He always forgets his keys at work. She leaves her dishes in the sink. But, if you are doing all the little things to positively influence your relationship, it can essentially wipe away all the negative things.

You too can be that disgusting couple in the back booth, at the restaurant, who doesn’t seem to realize there are other people in the universe.

1. Touch Each Other

I cannot express the importance of this enough. I don’t believe in people who say they don’t like public displays of affection. To me it sounds like they’re just worried about people judging them. Because really… what else would it be?

If you don’t love your partner enough to kiss, hug, grab, butt slap them in public, it means you’re prioritizing the public. And you don’t even know them.

Everyone needs touch. It’s a strange thing. But we do. Animals who receive less physical affection tend to be underdeveloped and overall less happy than those who receive regular touch in their developmental years. Even those who suffer from autism and other disorders that make human touch less desirable to them can still be calmed with use of a device called a ‘hugging machine’. Which is literally exactly what it sounds like.

Bottom line, the more you and your partner engage in physical touch, the more happy loving chemicals will be released in your bodies, and you’ll like each other. It’s like your tricking them into loving you, but with hugs! So get over that little trigger that says ‘People are watching, I can’t kiss you,’ because you know what those people are thinking about? Themselves. Always. I promise… you’re not that important.

2. Gratitude

You know the number one thing that leads to happy productive employees? Positive feedback. But not just any positive feedback. Frequent positive feedback.

Psychologist Ron Friedman discusses in his book The Best Place To Work, “Business feedback indicates that smaller frequent positive feedback and rewards will keep people happy longer than a single large infrequent happy event.”

This isn’t just true for business, it’s true for humans. We’re more likely to stay happy if we know that we’re on the right path and that we’re being appreciated.

Showing daily gratitude to your partner is essential for a thriving relationship. You should never assume your partner ‘just knows’ how you feel about them. And even if they do, it’s something they’ll never get sick of hearing. Well…unless you’re just repeating ‘I love you‘ for hours at a time. That may be overkill.

3. Unbreakable Dates

Whatever you spend the most time on is going to flourish. That’s a fact. That even goes for the things you don’t particularly enjoy.

If you spend the majority of your time working hard at a job you hate, you are unwittingly locking yourself into that position. How many times have you heard of people who have been working long hours and want to quit their jobs, but just before they could, they were offered a shiny new position and pay raise? It happens all the time. All of their hard work paid off… they just didn’t really want it to pay off.

So, shouldn’t your relationship be high on your priority list?

In this crazy modern day world, we get busy. We’re constantly plugged into work and social stimulation. Things come up. Things get rescheduled. And that’s life. But, you and your partner should put one day a week aside that is just for you. Everything else is rescheduled around that day. Meetings are pushed, friends are brushed off. It’s date night, damn it!

This simple act alone shows your partner that you’re making them a priority. It tells them that your relationship is important and that you are fully aware that it takes time and energy to keep it functioning. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. As long as it’s just the two of you, unplugged from the outside world and fully committed to connecting with one another.

4. Check Ins

The best way to get any information is to ask someone what you want to know. In the case of your relationship, the best way to know if things are going well is to ask your partner.

The most important part of this process is fully prepare yourself for the possibility that they may have some criticisms. You have to be able to listen openly to any negative feedback without lashing out or putting the blame on them. You should be able to talk openly and honestly.

I’m not saying that’s easy. Your relationship is a sensitive area. They’re the person who is suppose to love and accept you the most, so it can be difficult to hear negative feedback from someone whose opinion you hold in (hopefully) a high regard. As long as you both agree to come from a place of love. You both want to build the best partnership possible and part of building something is knowing where your weaknesses lie and addressing them head on.

That super love-y couple… they work their asses off. Either that or it’s a show they put on in public, and in reality they hate each other’s guts… which, I imagine, is also hard work, but I don’t recommend it.

These are all super easy steps that you can implement today to make your love a little brighter. Text them right now and schedule a date, or lean over and bite their thigh or just look up and ask them how you’re doing as a partner. All it takes is one first move.

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Saturday, 8 August 2015

15 Phobias Destined To Ruin Your Love Life

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition a phobia is: "an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation." The symptoms of such an intense fear can result from anywhere from a dry mouth and shortness of breath to chest pain, a racing heart, vomiting, and even an inability to speak. Basically, it's the worst possible panic attack of your life.

There are some weird phobias out there, like things that wouldn’t even cross your mind that someone could possibly have a fear of them. For example oneirogmophobia — ever heard of it? It's the fear of wet dreams. Yes, there are people walking around this planet with a debilitating fear of wet dreams! Really! I'm not lying! Although that may seem a bit funny, phobias are no laughing matter. In fact, some can actually stand in the way of love, as 36-year-old Brit, Erica Valentine, has discovered.

Valentine, contrary to her name, has such an intense fear of kissing that she hasn't had a date in two years, and a long line of failed relationships because she just can't bring herself to lock lips with anyone. Her obsession with oral hygiene is so all-consuming that not only is she constantly inquiring about the last time a potential lover has brushed their teeth, but she, herself, brushes her own teeth five or six times a day. I can’t imagine that's very good for the gums, but I'm no dentist.

But this isn't the only phobia that could possibly ruin your love life; there are actually quite a few others. Starting with Valentine's philemaphobia, let's cover what other fears could be putting a damper on your chances at love.phobias-destined-ruin-your-love-life

1. Philemaphobia: Fear Of Kissing

While for Valentine her philemaphobia seems to be really steeped in mouth germs, it’s not always the case. It’s also a fear of being subjected to bad breath, which, if you ask me, is totally reasonable.

2. Chiraptophobia: Fear Of Being Touched

If the thought of being hugged or being even remotely close to another human puts your head in a tailspin, then you may suffer from chiraptophobia. For some, the phobia is so intense that they can't even watch movies in which people touch each other, and they equate the touch of another as feeling like their skin is burning.

3. Mysophobia: Fear Of Germs

If your idea of affection is something out of the Howie Mandel book of human contact and only a fist bump will do, then you’re going to find it very difficult to get close to anyone and everyone, not just a potential partner. Unless you use latex gloves at all times, of course, and latex is a fetish for some, so that could actually work in your favour.

4. Genophobia: Fear Of Sex

Um, I really don't think we need to explain how this one is going to massively mess up your love life, so let's just move on, shall we.

5. Agoraphobia: Fear Of Leaving The House

Let's be honest, if you can't leave the house, how are you supposed to be meet anyone in the first place? Although agoraphobia is most commonly associated with the fear of leaving one's home, more specifically, it's a fear of crowds and being in situations that one can’t escape, like, oh I don't know… a first date maybe?

6. Omphalophobia: Fear Of Bellybuttons

If you're going to get naked, then you’re going to probably see a bellybutton or two. While you could cover up your own bellybutton with a Band-Aid, that still doesn’t get rid of the other bellybutton in the equation, so how are you going to explain that fear? If you can’t think of a witty response to that question, then I suggest you start courting Karolina Kurkova, because that beauty doesn't have a bellybutton.

7. Thyphallophobia - Fear Of An Erect Penis

Fear of seeing, considering about, or having an erect penis:

This phobia can hurt the sex life of the person suffering from the illness. This unwarranted fear causes an individual to avoid any and all subjects and situations that have to do with sex. Typically, those who suffer from this phobia have had a bad experience with the male penis at some point in their lives.

8. Cibophobia: Fear Of Food

One of the best parts about dating is going out to eat! What do you usually do on a first date? Go out to dinner! Second date? More dinner! The day you get married? Eat a five course meal! Food and love go hand-in-hand, so if you fear food, it's pretty hard to move forward in a relationship. I mean, what else are you supposed to do when you're together? Talk or something?

9. Metrophobia: Fear Of Poetry

Oh no! How else are you supposed to enjoy one of the greatest perks of someone being in love with you, if you can't stand poetry? The only thing better than regular ol’ poetry, is poetry written about YOU.

10. Sarmassophobia: Fear Of Foreplay

No, this one isn't just reserved for high school boys who just can't wait to come, but an actual phobia for people of both genders. But, hey, if you meet someone who likes to get in and get out, and skips all the "ooh la la," in the beginning, then you're in luck. And, yes, there are many of them out there.

11. Anuptaphobia - Fear Of Marrying

The Wrong Person: Ironically, anuptaphobia isn't just the fear of marrying the wrong person, but the fear of being single, which doesn't make any sense to me. Wouldn't you rather be single, than marry the wrong person?

12. Gamophobia - Fear Of Marriage:

If there's a fear of being single, then of course there's a fear of marriage, and I'm pretty sure 95% of the men I've ever known have had this phobia. Or maybe they just had it when it came to marrying me? Food for thought there, Chatel.

13. Arrhenphobia - Fear Of Men:

This one has got to totally suck, especially if you're a straight woman or gay man, but it's real. How the hell are you supposed to even get to the first date, if you're constantly in fear of men? Well, you can't.
Along the same vein is:

14. Venustraphobia, a fear of beautiful women.

If you suffer from this one, you can kiss your dreams of dating Angelina Jolie goodbye

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15. Philophobia- Fear Of Falling In Love:

Probably the saddest one of all the phobias in the world is philophobia. Not only is it a fear of falling in love, but a fear of being in love, too. This phobia makes all the other phobias look like a piece of cake.

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Thursday, 6 February 2014

Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zones

If you want to multiply desire during forpelay then there’s nothing like targeted touching and kissing all over the body, especially on the erogenous zones.

Arousal

According to the medical dictionary, an erogenous zone is ‘part of the body that excites sexual feelings when touched or stimulated.’ Three types exist:

Primary zones

- these are the organs that trigger orgasm when stimulated. In women, the primary erogenous zones are the clitoris and the vagina. The clitoris is stimulated when caressed or touched with circular movements and the vagina is only sensitive when the G spot is reached through muscular contraction on penetration. Primary erogenous zones in men are located on the penis; arousal is generated through rubbing movements either during masturbation or penetration.

Secondary zones

- these areas also trigger arousal of the primary zones when touched, increasing sexual pleasure, but they are not always needed to reach orgasm. In women, these are the pubic area, buttocks, labia majora and labia minora, the entrance of the vagina, perineum, anus and nipples. The male secondary zones are the penis, the area around the anus and the inside of the thighs. Some men also like their nipples kissed and nibbled.

Potential zones

- the goal here is to trigger a series of exciting sensations that stimulate primary areas, bringing about erection and moistening of the vagina. These erogenous zones have more of an erotic dimension and vary from one person to the next both in terms of their location and their intensity. It’s up to each individual to discover these zones, which are located all over the body.

Are everyone's erogenous zones the same?

In theory, erogenous zones are quite similar from one person to the next, but sometimes people have preferences. To find out what areas are your most sensitive, experiment with your partner. A bit of kissing and touching will soon tell you!

How do they develop?

There is a part that is innate and a part that is acquired. This means that some zones develop naturally and others develop over time, starting in childhood. Some specialists have shown that physical contact with the mother in childhood plays an important role in sensory perception in a child and even in the development of sexuality in adulthood. For example, a baby who has had only functional attachment without any special tenderness will have no particular pleasant memories of skin contact and will lack self-confidence (and vice versa). It seems that baby girls are shown more tenderness (hugs, cuddles and kisses) than baby boys, which could explain why women have more erogenous zones than men.

Do they always give you pleasure?

It depends on the degree of relaxation during foreplay. If you are totally relaxed and ready for your partner's attention, your erogenous zones will give you great pleasure and excitement. However, if you're stressed and anxious, your whole body will be on the defensive and touching could cause unpleasant reactions or tickling. It's not uncommon for women to laugh during foreplay, which can ruin the erotic dimension of the situation!

Precautions to bear in mind

Obviously erogenous zones are very sensitive before sex. Desire and attraction helps. However, after orgasm, touching, kissing, licking and stroking can be unbearable and even painful. This is the case for the glans penis (the head) and the clitoris, as well as the nipples (for both men and women). So it is important you both let each other recover for a brief period known as the refractory period, during which neither of you is sexually aroused because your erogenous zones are hypersensitive.

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