Dating the Insecure Woman vs. the Secure Woman? Part 1

Men love women who are secure and loathe women who are not.

We know females do crazy things when they love hard. But all too often, these are based on fear. Fear will make you act crazy, so be sure to check yourself and please do not act based off your emotions.

Men often speak of their love in terms of action, instead of simply saying “I love you.” If you want him to say it, it would be best for you to express how you feel and tell him, “ I love you, baby.” Eventually, the words will come out of his mouth.

Have you ever met the girl or had a friend who is drop-dead gorgeous but cannot keep a man, because of her insecurities? (E.g., Halle Berry.) Ladies, your exterior beauty will not last forever. You have until you’re about 35 or 40 years of age, and for some, right after you have your first baby is when your physical attractiveness starts declining. You have to wear a little more makeup, buy a few more accessories, work a little harder at the gym, etc.– unless you have invested in long-lasting beauty and continued self-improvement.

Stop wasting your money on temporarily-beautifying items until you have invested in your inner sanctum, where true beauty lies. This is the stuff that makes the Man of Your Dreams (MOYD) fall in love with you. Trust our advice on this one. Look at some of the most beautiful women in the world and ask yourself why they are either single or go from man to man. They have everything material but still cannot find someone to truly love them. Money cannot buy everything and it certainly cannot buy love. Ask Oprah, Halle Berry or any other woman you look up to and consider to be a wealthy, successful role model.

89 Questions

Sometimes you have gone beyond reason and you are just looking for something to be wrong. If you have this problem, all your questions lead to an eventual interrogation. For instance, you ask your man while Skyping, “Why are you not wearing your shirt”? His response will be, “I am sitting here without a shirt because its hot. It’s 100 degrees inside and 102 degrees outside.” He will think this is a dumb question and will become irritated quite quickly if you persist.

A secure woman is not concerned about why he does not have his shirt on. In the same scenario, her focus is on complimenting her man as opposed to interrogating him. You can quickly change the energy by making a statement about how beautiful he looks without his shirt, and still achieve your desired outcome. Take your same question and reverse it. “Honey, you look so nice without your shirt on, damn. Give me some.” His response will be, “Yes, when are you coming home, baby?”

Note the difference. The insecure woman asked the question because of her insecurity, not because she was concerned about him, but because she was only concerned about herself. She did not care that it was 100 degrees inside and 102 degrees outside. If normally her man has a shirt on and then all of a sudden he does not, there must be a good reason.

Being insecure, she asked him a dumb question. What the insecure woman wanted to know was why her man did not have a shirt on, but she could have gotten the answer and so much more by rephrasing the question in the form of a compliment. His response would not be an irritated one. He would be smiling at her compliment and then he would be ready to tell her anything she wanted to know. Like, “Baby, I don’t have a shirt on because it’s burning up in here.” Do you see the difference in his response? One woman was insecure and by being insecure, she irritated her man by asking a dumb question. The woman who was secure excited her man by giving him a compliment, thus getting more information than the insecure woman. They both had the same purpose. One got the answer she wanted and will have heated sex that night, and the other irritated her man and got the heated answer, propelling her man away from her.

Too many phone calls and text messages

Ladies, give your man a chance to breathe. Give him a chance to miss you.

Admit that you have an issue with being insecure. If your man has clearly told you not to keep calling and texting, and you text him 10 more times, remember that your insecurities are pushing him away. At some point you have to understand what is reasonable, what is unreasonable and what is flat-out nuts. You cannot force a man to do what you want, but you can be that bright, shining example of what you desire. Clearly explain your issue to the MOYD and ask for his help.

Realize that true success in a relationship is understanding that no man on this planet will ever be perfect. No one will be able to answer the phone or e-mail or text at every instant, especially while driving. Calm your fears by thinking in terms of safety first, and also realize that the perfect man does not exist. The future success of your relationship will depend on understanding this one very important point. (Women Have the Power to Help Men Become Better)

He chose you

He could have chosen someone else, but he chose you. Let that soak into your brain. Seriously, we know this sounds funny, but it’s true. You live at home and you are sharing bills, etc. There are two ways to look at this situation. One is that you are building this together. Or, you can self-sabotage by constantly filling your mind with negative thoughts. As you continue to fill your mind with these negative thoughts, eventually you will get the results of these negatives and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We have all made this mistake. The secure woman knows that she is the bomb and she acts like it, and expects positive results. She knows that she is a gift to her man. Thus, he loves her because of her confidence. It’s like anything…if you know you are the bomb then you must be! Remember the five magic words your man wants to hear: “you can do it, baby!” Whether you believe it or not, if you say these words to your man over and over again, eventually he will believe it.

View the original article here

10 Dating Tips on How to Be Different From the Competition!

Beautiful indian woman in Sari. Arabian bellydancer

Attracting the Man of your Dreams (MOYD) is about being different from the competition. Attraction is not being typical, and to be typical and expect gravely different results is not realistic.

Like any other beautiful bird who flaps its feathers to gain the attention of the most suitable mate, you must also separate yourself from what the average woman does on a daily basis so that you stand out when it comes to attracting the MOYD. Many would say they are not in competition with the next woman, but with the pickings being slim, I would beg to differ. But you are right. It is not necessarily a competition, but a stab at individuality that could attract that special MOYD. Remember this morning when you went to your closet and spent 30 minutes trying to figure out what you were going to wear today–which colors, which shoes? If it did not matter, you certainly would not have spent that time, and you might as well buy uniforms and wear the same outfit every day. Ironically, then you would actually be different, but maybe not in the most positive, communal sense. So stop fooling yourself. Being different does matter and does separate you, and it certainly will attract potential men of your dreams. If you agree, keep reading.

Do you really think the Man of Your Dreams is that dumb, and women are that smart, that we just have no clue what your normal patterns are? Or that we do not record in our minds what hundreds of women have said in response to basic questions? How many times have we heard the same boring responses? If you want different results or to be treated differently, act differently. Listen and use your intuition and five senses, as opposed to basing all your answers on fear or programmed responses. Yes, we understand that the average man may not have a clue, nor will he admit to you that he has heard that line a thousand times before, but in the back of his mind he is thinking just that. The problem is, most men will never tell you this because their immediate objective is to capture the prize. Once it has been captured and secured, then they start to analyze and ask questions. “Who are you?” Most men chase, capture, then ask real questions after the fact. This is our problem, which later becomes your problem. The best way to prevent this is to recognize your biggest fears and frustrations in meeting new men and overcome them with knowledge, and by actually talking and listening to the candidate. Yes, due to time constraints, you could choose the third option, not to speak at all, but please be respectful in your dismissal.

Programmed responses automatically signal to the MOYD that you are not using the gifts inside you, and that you are cheating yourself and him in the process. Because of your fears and programming, you will be less likely to recognize him or any other MOYD unless he fits into a certain preordained mold. Even if he had on a t-shirt with word “MOYD” printed on it, you still would not be able to see him because you are not using your intuition. This behavior is very typical when a woman meets a man. Remember, the fears you project come looking for you, but if you project positive energy and love and expect something good to happen, then those things will come instead. Most women are driven by fear and then wonder why they’re single. Be different; get over your fears by facing them. Next time that guy goes out of his way to say hello, make time. You are single! Be different than all the rest!

Ask yourself, are you trying to attract the average man or the MOYD?

Following is a list of what typical women do upon first meeting a potential MOYD. If you want to be different, listen up.

Ask “How do I know you are not some crazy stalker?” (Why Do I Always Attract Crazy Men?) The only way you are ever going to know for sure is by your initial conversation. If you truly listen within that first two minutes you will be able to discern exactly the type of individual you are dealing with and whether you want to move forward. Men are simple, and he will reveal who he is and his intentions in the first 60 seconds. You just have to know how to recognize the signs. (How to Interpret a Man’s Approach in 60 Seconds or Less) Don’t make this any more complicated than it is. The real problem is that most women don’t truly listen.

Say, “I am too busy right now and have to go.” You and I both know that the only place you were rushing to is your empty house with one cat and a dog. Make time to meet new people. It’s the only way you are going to meet the potential MOYD. Face your fears of meeting people head-on. Your days of being single will dramatically decrease.

Wait for the MOYD to approach them. If you see someone you like, go for it. Who cares what the latest Hollywood romance suggested? The question is, do you want a man or do you want to be at home alone in bed when you don’t have to be?

Limit the type of men they are attracted to. It’s like on an application form when they ask your race, and they have that box that says “other.” Check that box in your brain. True love sees no color, and this will increase your options dramatically. Once again, why be at home alone when the only reason is that you’re scared to meet other people? I know, it’s like an episode of “Lost.” “Who are the others?” (Is Race Still Relevant in the Dating World?)

Judge a book by its cover. You never know; the MOYD might just have gotten off of work on a construction job, or just come from the gym, which would explain the sweaty smell. The fact that he was able to approach you while not in his best light says something for his confidence. A plus. Keep in mind that a shower, a shave and a change of clothes could quickly turn night into day. So ask yourself the most important questions. Is he nice? Does he have good manners? Is he considerate of your time? And last but not least, does he work construction or did he just come from the gym?

Take his number, tell him they’ll call him, but never do. Do you know how many women give this corny line? Ladies, the principle of cause and effect governs all, and I cannot stress enough that your words can and will be held against you. They vibrate like radio waves and will come back to bite you through some other man that you are attracted to. Then it’s your turn to receive some of what you unconsciously put out into the universe. The best way to avoid stepping in your own boo-boo is to be different than all the rest, honor what you do and say and do your best to keep your promises. (The Evolution Of The Player. How Does A Regular Man Become A Player On The Dating Scene?) Here’s the scenario: You have given this corny line out so much that when you do meet the MOYD, it is he that will not call you back, and then you blame all the men on planet Earth for this one’s mistakes.

Go to the club obviously dressed to get attention, then say they have a boyfriend. But he is nowhere to be found. Then we see them a few minutes later conversing with the next man as if they are single. Huh? Once again, the natural laws of attraction are at work. You are purposely attracting men to you, but why, if you have a man? Would your man like that, or are you just using it to get rid of us? If so, it has a two-edged negative effect. If you really don’t have a man, you are constantly lying to men. Honesty is always the best policy. And if you really do have a man, you should not be at the club attracting all of the wrong attention as if you were single. If your imaginary man were to find out, you might as well stay at the club, because you will soon be single for real.

Give the potential MOYD their number but never return his calls or texts. Okay, this is what happens in a man’s mind. We start to overcompensate and look at women as a numbers game. We try to get as many numbers as possible, because just like the airlines, we must overbook, knowing there will be some no-shows, cancellations or duds in the group. To the observing woman it may look as if this man is the proverbial player, but in actuality, he already understands through experience the nature of meeting new women. Nine times out of 10, it’s the woman who is approached by the man and therefore has the power to dictate her desired outcome. (Women have the Power to Help Men Become Better) Once again, when you are not getting the result you want, think back to how many times you have given a man your number and never returned his call or, for that matter, never intended to.

9. Flat-out give a man the wrong number. That’s cold! Ladies, we know you think you have great reasons for giving a man the wrong number, but it is the rudest of dating behaviors. Just put yourself in the man’s shoes for a moment. You’ve gotten all dressed up and are looking great to attract the MOYD, so naturally you are going to attract other men. A man meets you and is excited to communicate with you. He asks for your number, gets home the next day to give you a call and some guy named Teddy picks up and says, “Hello!”

Him: Hello, can I speak to Jenny?

Teddy: Jenny who?

Him: Jenny??

Teddy: Man, you have the wrong number.

Can you say, next to the worst feeling in the world? How low did you just make that man feel?

10. Fail to take responsibility. You meet a nice guy, speak a few times and even go out on a date, and then you get real flaky. Essentially, you do not value the words that come out of your mouth. You will tell a man you are going to call back and never do. You will tell a man you and he are going out one night, then you never show up or even call to apologize. But the next time you do speak to him, a few days later, you will have an excuse that puts him at fault, instead of apologizing and taking responsibility. Believe me, karma and the natural laws of the universe are alive and well and eventually catch up to us all.

Read original article