Saturday 27 July 2013

Dating the Insecure Woman vs. the Secure Woman? Part 1

Dating the Insecure Woman vs. the Secure Woman? Part 1

Men love women who are secure and loathe women who are not.
We know females do crazy things when they love hard. But all too often, these are based on fear. Fear will make you act crazy, so be sure to check yourself and please do not act based off your emotions.
Men often speak of their love in terms of action, instead of simply saying “I love you.” If you want him to say it, it would be best for you to express how you feel and tell him, “ I love you, baby.” Eventually, the words will come out of his mouth.
Have you ever met the girl or had a friend who is drop-dead gorgeous but cannot keep a man, because of her insecurities? (E.g., Halle Berry.) Ladies, your exterior beauty will not last forever. You have until you’re about 35 or 40 years of age, and for some, right after you have your first baby is when your physical attractiveness starts declining. You have to wear a little more makeup, buy a few more accessories, work a little harder at the gym, etc.– unless you have invested in long-lasting beauty and continued self-improvement.
Stop wasting your money on temporarily-beautifying items until you have invested in your inner sanctum, where true beauty lies. This is the stuff that makes the Man of Your Dreams (MOYD) fall in love with you.  Trust our advice on this one.  Look at some of the most beautiful women in the world and ask yourself why they are either single or go from man to man. They have everything material but still cannot find someone to truly love them.  Money cannot buy everything and it certainly cannot buy love. Ask Oprah, Halle Berry or any other woman you look up to and consider to be a wealthy, successful role model.
89 Questions
Sometimes you have gone beyond reason and you are just looking for something to be wrong. If you have this problem, all your questions lead to an eventual interrogation. For instance, you ask your man while Skyping, “Why are you not wearing your shirt”?  His response will be, “I am sitting here without a shirt because its hot. It’s 100 degrees inside and 102 degrees outside.” He will think this is a dumb question and will become irritated quite quickly if you persist.

A secure woman is not concerned about why he does not have his shirt on. In the same scenario, her focus is on complimenting her man as opposed to interrogating him. You can quickly change the energy by making a statement about how beautiful he looks without his shirt, and still achieve your desired outcome. Take your same question and reverse it. “Honey, you look so nice without your shirt on, damn. Give me some.”  His response will be, “Yes, when are you coming home, baby?”
Note the difference. The insecure woman asked the question because of her insecurity, not because she was concerned about him, but because she was only concerned about herself.  She did not care that it was 100 degrees inside and 102 degrees outside. If normally her man has a shirt on and then all of a sudden he does not, there must be a good reason.
Being insecure, she asked him a dumb question. What the insecure woman wanted to know was why her man did not have a shirt on, but she could have gotten the answer and so much more by rephrasing the question in the form of a compliment. His response would not be an irritated one. He would be smiling at her compliment and then he would be ready to tell her anything she wanted to know. Like, “Baby, I don’t have a shirt on because it’s burning up in here.” Do you see the difference in his response? One woman was insecure and by being insecure, she irritated her man by asking a dumb question. The woman who was secure excited her man by giving him a compliment, thus getting more information than the insecure woman. They both had the same purpose. One got the answer she wanted and will have heated sex that night, and the other irritated her man and got the heated answer, propelling her man away from her.
Too many phone calls and text messages  
Ladies, give your man a chance to breathe. Give him a chance to miss you.
Admit that you have an issue with being insecure. If your man has clearly told you not to keep calling and texting, and you text him 10 more times,  remember that your insecurities are pushing him away. At some point you have to understand what is reasonable, what is unreasonable and what is flat-out nuts. You cannot force a man to do what you want, but you can be that bright, shining example of what you desire. Clearly explain your issue to the MOYD and ask for his help.
Realize that true success in a relationship is understanding that no man on this planet will ever be perfect. No one will be able to answer the phone or e-mail or text at every instant, especially while driving. Calm your fears by thinking in terms of safety first, and also realize that the perfect man does not exist. The future success of your relationship will depend on understanding this one very important point. (Women Have the Power to Help Men Become Better)
He chose you
He could have chosen someone else, but he chose you. Let that soak into your brain. Seriously, we know this sounds funny, but it’s true. You live at home and you are sharing bills, etc. There are two ways to look at this situation. One is that you are building this together. Or, you can self-sabotage by constantly filling your mind with negative thoughts. As you continue to fill your mind with these negative thoughts, eventually you will get the results of these negatives and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We have all made this mistake. The secure woman knows that she is the bomb and she acts like it, and expects positive results. She knows that she is a gift to her man. Thus, he loves her because of her confidence. It’s like anything…if you know you are the bomb then you must be! Remember the five magic words your man wants to hear: “you can do it, baby!” Whether you believe it or not, if you say these words to your man over and over again, eventually he will believe it.


  1. interesting as always

  2. loved your resource thanks for sharing

    1. Thanks Stella,
      I know that it goes both ways, the insecure man and also the insecure woman. Neither is much fun for the other person but hopefully recognising the situation early can allow one to take definite steps.