Traditional Vs. Modern Dating Etiquette

Traditional Vs. Modern Dating Etiquette

Have the dating skills for men changed over the years?  Yes and no.  Some traditional dating techniques are completely outdated, while others are absolutely crucial.  To help you decide which traditional practices to use and which to abandon, here’s a brief breakdown of how some of those techniques apply today.

Paying for the Date

Years ago men were expected to pay for everything.  But nowadays it’s common to see couples splitting the bill.  This has caused a lot of confusion as guys today are often unsure if they should pay the full bill or not.

Here’s the simple answer:  If you invite a girl on a date then it’s up to you to take care of her.  That means picking up the tab.  She may offer to split it, but taking her up on that offer could be dangerous.  Why?  Because splitting the tab can change the dynamic between you.  Suddenly instead of being two people on a date you feel like two friends hanging out.  So to make sure you stay in the “date” category by adopting the traditional dating custom of paying for your date.

There is however an exception to this rule:  If the girl invites you out (especially if she takes you someplace way out of your price range) you’re fine simply offering to split the bill.  It’s not your obligation to pay for her when she’s the one extending the invitation.

Keep Chivalry Alive

One common complaint about modern dating culture is that men don’t take care of women the way they used to.  They’ve stopped doing the little things that show women they care about their well-being.  So an important dating skill for men is to learn how to be the chivalrous guy who takes care of his girl.

Small gestures like walking the girl to her car, seeing she drives off okay, and making sure she got home safe can earn you huge points.  Actions like these show the girl you truly care about her and her well-being.  They are the kind of dating skills men can use to stand out from all the other guys out there.

Go on a Real Date

Dating has become something of a lost art to the younger generations.  Instead of going on actual dates guys will invite girls to hang out with them and their friends.  Now this is fine if you don’t yet know the girl and want to meet in a low-pressure situation (or if you don’t want anything serious).  But if you’re really interested in this girl then you’ll want to invite her on a real date.

The best way to invite a girl out is to be direct and honest about your intentions.  You can say something like “You’re really cool.  What are you up to Thursday?  I want to take you (out for drinks/dancing/etc.).”  If she asks “is this a date?” own your intentions and let her know “Damn right it’s a date!”  The more confidence you show when asking her out the more likely she’s going to say yes

What to Do on a Date

One area where the traditional dating skills for men just don’t cut it anymore is coming up with what to do on a date.  The old “dinner and a movie” date is played out and can often be downright boring.  Instead of taking the girl out to a date she’s done 1,000 times look to give her a new experience.

A great way to do this is to make your date an activity date.   Take dance lessons. Check out an improv comedy show or local band.  Invite her over to your place and cook dinner together.  Activity dates like these make it easy for both of you to enjoy yourselves and each other.

Taking Charge

Another dating skill for men that’s worth adopting today is being willing to take charge of the date.  By planning the date yourself and taking care of all the logistics (when to meet, where to go, when it will end) you make her job easier.  She’ll be able to relax and enjoy herself knowing you’ve got everything figured out.

Now when planning the date it should go without saying that you’ve got to pick something you both enjoy.  On top of that, it’s usually a good idea to have a “plan B” in case your first idea doesn’t pan out.  If that improv show is sold out, or if you discover she hates that kind of thing, having a plan B in place means you can still save the date

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How Far Can You Go on the Date?

People may have taken more time to get physical a few decades ago, but an important dating skill for men  today is the ability to build sexual tension. That chemistry is often the difference between whether or not you see each other again. So to make sure that spark is there you’ll want to flirt with and touch her frequently throughout the date.  If you can build enough sexual tension early you won’t even have to wait until the end of the date to go for the kiss.

If things are really going well and there’s a lot of sexual chemistry you may want to take things even further.  This is something you’ll want to prepare for ahead of time.  Keep your living space clean and have a reason to invite her back to your place (dessert, wine, hookah, a game).  That way if the opportunity to take things further arises, you’ll be ready.

But keep in mind not every girl will be okay getting physical.  Some girls may be more traditional and refuse to even kiss you until a certain number of dates.  If that’s the case accept it and just enjoy the process of building sexual tension.  That alone may get her to change your mind.  If not, you may find that putting the physical part off can actually make things more exciting

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6 Signs You are a Lazy Lover in Bed

6 Signs You are a Lazy Lover in Bed

How do you know you know if you should be putting in more effort in your sex life?

Ever wonder if you are a lazy lover? How do you know you know if you should be putting in more effort in your sex life?

Julia Austin of Madame Noire lists the signs that indicate you are a lazy lover:

1. Do you ask, "Can we have sex?": Once in a blue moon, asking this straightforward question is hot in an aggressive way. But if this is how sex usually starts, you’re just trying to skip the seduction, and that’s lazy!
2. Do you wait for your partner to start foreplay?: You have to initiate the actual, like, sex sometimes. Just adding tongue to the make out does not count as starting foreplay.
3. Do you get on top at all?: Oh no…do you just lay flat and let him do all the work?
4. Do you buy lube?: Edible, flavored, non-edible, glow in the dark—whatever, just buy some. It shows that you care about everybody’s pleasure and think in advance about these things.
5. Do you make him put on the condom: He might be better at it than you are, so you don’t need to put it on every time, but sometimes it would be nice if you helped out.
6. Do you have more than three positions?: You don’t need to try a new one every time but…if you’ve been together for a while and you only have three positions, somebody needs to speak up. Maybe that somebody is you.

It may not be that you are lazy but perhaps become complacent. No your know what the signs are you can re-light the fire with just a few adjustments starting tonight.

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SAY YES TO SEDUCTION

SAY YES TO SEDUCTION

It's time to embrace your sexy side. If you've been holding back in bed, we're willing to bet your guy wishes you weren't. In fact, we have a pretty good idea of what he'd like you to be doing. While it's not all about him, there are a few things you can do that will make him crazy (in a good way) and at the same time make things much more enjoyable for you. Read on to find out how to enhance your time between the sheets.

TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT

If the movies are any indication, as soon as we slide into bed with someone, both parties know exactly what to do for an instant-orgasm and a great time in bed. While this scenario isn't unheard of, it's also not the norm. Just like you want to please him, he's hoping that you like whatever it is he's doing, and if you're not, he wants to know what he should be doing instead. Guys like it when you're as involved in the proceedings as they are and are willing to speak up if need be.

It's all in how you tell a guy what you want. Rather than saying "I don't like that," be more of a director instead, leading him towards the experience that will get you the most pleasure. Guys like when you know what you want and have the confidence to express it.

EXPRESS YOUR PLEASURE

Quiet in bed? Try turning up the volume and see how much your man likes what he hears. We're not suggesting you fake it or put on some sort of cheesy act for him, but if you're enjoying yourself, we say tell him. He'll love that you're open and relaxed enough to voice your satisfaction, and chances are, it will turn him on even more. Being vocal in bed isn't a necessity, but you can bet that when you do choose to speak up during sex, he won't be complaining about it.

DITCH YOUR INHIBITIONS

We asked a few of our paired up guy pals about what they most wish their girlfriends would do in bed. While some were wholly satisfied with their sex lives (wouldn't change anything), the ones that thought there was room for improvement really wanted their partners to lose their inhibitions and body hang-ups and let loose in bed without fear of looking or sounding unattractive. Let's face it – sex is messy and sloppy and unpredictable, so if you can allow yourself to revel in the passion without worrying about what he thinks, you and your guy will be much happier.

"I love when my girlfriend can be totally relaxed in bed," said one 34-year-old high school teacher we spoke to. "I hate when she seems distracted in bed or just not completely comfortable. It takes away from the experience."

TRY NEW THINGS

Not every position, toy or fantasy is for everyone. We all have our own likes and dislikes when it comes to sex, but we're willing to bet your guy wouldn't mind if you wanted to shake things up in the sack by trying something new. Even if your sex life is fantastic, it can still be fun to experiment with different things – whether it's role-play, different seduction techniques or simply having sex at a different time of day than usual. You never know what might make what you have even better. Most guys we polled liked it when their partner was open minded about sex and willing to go outside the usual routine.

Trying new things is a great way to avoid falling into a sexual rut. Ruts are easy to fall into but much harder to get out of.

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