There isn’t a magic number—but if you’ve got one in mind, it might lead to bedroom boredom
“More bang for your buck” might not apply in bed: Having lots of sex could make you enjoy it less, finds new research from Carnegie Mellon University.
In the study, married couples who got busy at least once a month, but no more than three times per week, were split into two groups. Some pairs were asked to double their sex rate, while the rest kept their habits the same.
After 3 months, couples who boosted their boning reported having less desire for sex than they had at the beginning of the experiment.
The reason makes sense: Being told exactly when to get it on isn’t very enticing. Since couples had to keep track of their sexcapades, that pressure took away from the fun, explains study coauthor George Loewensteinm, Ph.D.
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Maybe you’re not trying to meet a weekly quota like the people in the study. But chances are you’ve attempted to ramp up your romping to make sex hotter.
That’s a mistake: Sexual frequency has nothing to do with your pleasure or satisfaction, says Men’s Health Sex Professor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of The Coregasm Workout.
If you and you partner have sex often because you both want to, of course you should keep it up, says Herbenick. But it doesn’t matter if your magic number is less than your buddy’s as long as it works for you, she says.
To bring your sex life to new heights, forget quantity and focus on quality. Herbenick says the key to having exceptional sex is in the connection.
“Be open to one another,” she says. “Treat your partner like a person rather than a porn star—unless that's what you two are into.”
Enjoy each other’s company before things get steamy. Set the mood with candles, take a bath or shower together, or play sexy music, Herbenick advises.