27 things men do in bed that women hate

Sex isn't always sexy! Here are 27 things men do during sex that ladies totally hate.

You should know by now that not everything that happens during sex is actually sexy. No?

Well then, let's enlighten you a little. Sometime ago, we talked about 25 things women do during sex that men hate.

Now it's time to turn the tables and ask the women how they feel while doing the dirty.

Metro UK went on Facebook and asked the womenfolk what dudes do in the sack that they hate, and below are their answers. [Warning: contains adult content, obviously].

'When they try to recreate sex positions that they've obviously seen on some online porn site, and you end up basically doing a headstand, looking a mess and having to listen to them say: "You're loving that aren't you babes?" Err, no.'
'When you're on top and they're just staring at you and it's like, ahhh what face do I pull? So you just close your eyes and hope for the best.'
'When they ask YOU to put the condom on. Just no.'
'When they think it's sexy to spank you so hard that you just want to turn around and punch them in the face.'
'When they just stop, and it's like, "hello? Did you hear me orgasm?" No.'
'Asking "do you like that?" How about just don't talk and see if I look like I don't want to kill myself/watch Scandal over your shoulder.'
'When you give them a blow job and they act as if you don't have a gag reflex. How about I throw up all over your penis?'
'When they ask you to strip (which is always awkward – what music do you put on?) and then your skinny jeans get stuck round your ankles.'
'When they see random things they've read online and think they're a good idea. Err no, I don't want ice rubbed all over my body.'
'When you're in the middle of foreplay and they thrust a finger up your bum with NO warning.'
'When they drag it out because they're waiting for you to orgasm first. You're going to be waiting a while for that…'
'Trying to go down on you in the morning when you're feeling really unsexy and unclean. Just gross.'
'Putting their fingers everywhere at once like they're playing some sort of instrument. Far too confusing, you just don't know what's going on down there.'
'When they think it's a good idea to stick objects in you. Just no.'
'Casually trying to have anal sex without asking and without lube. It does not just slip in there.'
'Being so aggressive with their hands during foreplay that they pretty much give you internal bleeding.'
'Nipple biting. It just f*****g hurts.'
'Pulling your hair so hard you scream and your eyes water.'
'Baggy boxers. Eww.'
'Man stubble. And not the type that's on his face.'
'When a bloke wants to do 69 but insists he's on top, so you basically suffocate under him. Vom.'
'Eating fried chicken before a blow job. Pretty much the worst taste imaginable.'
'When men rush foreplay and think you're going to orgasm from 27 seconds.'
'Wanting to ejaculate on your face, in your hair, in your eyes.'
'Being passive aggressive when they can't make you orgasm. So sexy.'
'Trying to remove underwear with their teeth. What even is that?'
'Not cleaning properly. It's not attractive to taste urine.'

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Friday, 5 July 2013

How To Dirty Talk During Sex Without Feeling Silly

Did you know that dirty talk during sex can be a huge turn on for both you and your man? The truth is that talking dirty while getting busy under the covers will turn ‘ordinary, boring sex’ into ‘hot, kinky sex’ that you will remember forever! And while you might think that it’s quite tough to pull off the dirty talking act, in reality all it needs is a little confidence, some inspiration and just a tad of imagination. Trust us, if you could just get these tricks right, the benefits of talking dirty will outweigh the drawbacks any day (or night!)

Here we reveal some sex secrets that will knock his socks off in bed!

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1. Start simple by expanding your limits

For most of us, it is very easy to ooh and aah in bed. But when it comes to putting more words than that in to expressing our sexual fantasies, most of us hit a brick wall. The key to talking dirty with confidence is to know what to say, and how to say it right. You don’t have to sound too over the top and only use filthy curse words; try all the naughty little words you can think of that are within your comfort level and spin them in to sexy sentences. Verbs like smack, bite, fondle, suck, lick, grab, pinch and squeeze can come to your aid!

2. Be in control

There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say it out loud. Be assertive by telling your man exactly what you want! Talking dirty in bed isn’t about emulating a porn star; rather it is all about enhancing your sexapade by letting your man know what you like, how you like it, and where you like it most; and do that with a lot of style. Remember to return the favour as well, and drive him wild by encouraging dirty talk from him! It’s all about being in control, girl!

3. Do not worry about sounding silly

One of the biggest mistakes women make when trying to dirty talk is to try hard not to sound silly. There is nothing silly about expressing your inner most sex fantasies to your man! We’ll let you in on a secret that we hope helps bring out that unbridled passion in you – When a man is turned on; a lot of things that would ordinarily sound ridiculous to him can begin to sound really, really, really hot! So don’t be afraid to try new hot dialogues; he will have no complains, we promise! If you want some help, note down a few snippets you heard in a steamy movie or read in a hot book and use them as an inspiration.

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But just like everything else, dirty talk comes with a few pitfalls as well. Here are a few things we suggest you NEVER try out in bed in the name of ‘dirty-talk’:

Compare your man to your ex; even if you want to imply he’s the best sexual partner you have ever had.
Mentioning parents when getting busy is ALWAYS a recipe for disaster.
Never let the dirty talk refer to the age difference between you two, or racial difference, or any such objectionable difference. Your dirty talk can be mildly offensive by using f-words, but never should be majorly offensive by laying down obvious personal differences.

Do you like to dirty talk in bed? What other things do you like to say or do? Have these tips helped you feel a lot more confident about trying it out next time?

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