How Facebook Ruins Relationships: 15 Things to Remember

"I think social media is a good thing when used properly and respectfully. 

There is already too much drama on social media that saps people of their motivation, crushes theirs mood, leaving them lonely and unsatisfied, without getting romantic relationships involved.

I often wonder why Facebook users feel the need to unload all their emotional baggage good or bad for all to read.  Lets not even get into the photographs posted of  family, friends and even those that are not known, who if asked might prefer not to have their pictures plastered over the Facebook pages. 

So Facebook users be smart and keep social media in its proper place.      -   Susan

How Facebook Ruins Relationships: 15 Things to Remember

People have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. And many real-life relationships are ruined because of Facebook—don’t let yours be next.

We have seen it all on Facebook: from flirting, to dates, to fights, to breakups. We’ve all had at least one friend who features her relationships on Facebook like it’s something from a reality show—and in fact, that friend broke up because of *you guessed it* Facebook. See how social media can ruin relationships and what you can do to avoid it.

How Facebook ruins relationships

#1 TMI. Sharing too much information about yourself can be harmful to your safety and privacy, as well as annoying to people who look at their news feeds and just see you all the time. This behaviour is even more problematic when you’re in a relationship. Online Public Displays of Affection *OPDAs, if you will* can be acceptable, but only to a certain extent.

Your partner may want to keep your relationship *and fights* private and set boundaries on just how much people are allowed to snoop into your relationship. Part of the beauty of your relationship is that it is just you and your partner, so it’s really best to keep some of it secret. 

#2 Revealing too much. You can reveal too much in your relationship even without words. Revealing too much can take the form of posting sexy and suggestive photos that you’re better off sexting to your partner. This can spark jealousy and insecurity from your partner, especially if you have male friends—or even strangers, if your photos are public—liking and commenting on your photos.

Putting your body out there in a suggestive way, when it should be kept private and for your partner’s eyes only, can trigger negative feelings from your partner and cause you to fight with each other.

#3 Entertaining exes. Chatting and messaging, as well as coyly replying to comments from the opposite sex from your past can make your partner uneasy, suspicious, and all-out jealous. Communicating with an ex, in any form, can be a very touchy subject to your current beau, and talking with your ex on social media, in front of everyone, has the potential to humiliate your current flame.

#4 Flipping out. Your partner posts something random and seemingly harmless, yet you overthink it. Each time they post something on social media, whether it’s their food *Who did you have dinner with?*, their selfie *Where were you in that picture?*, a quote *What’s that all about? Is that about me?*, or anything else, you’re always bound to think it’s about you or your relationship. You will find yourself unnecessarily on your toes, or restless because of the ghosts you have conjured. Step back, relax, and let them be.

#5 Passive-aggressive posts. Posting on Facebook instead of talking directly to your partner can make matters worse, instead of better. Posting vague statuses and quotes on Facebook, and hoping your rather oblivious and dense partner will notice and change isn’t really going to work.

Open communication is key in any relationship, so if you have a problem with your partner, talk to them directly instead of posting about it on social media. Besides, your petty rants and subliminal messages will accomplish nothing but annoy your friends.

#6 Facebook time instead of quality time. You know when you’re in bed and instead of talking about how your day went and updating each other, you’re both huddled up on your phones? Or, instead of enjoying a nice date together, your partner is busily taking a picture of your meal and taking selfies between bites?

Excessive time with Facebook takes the fun and spontaneity out of the moment, especially if you cannot enjoy your vacation with your partner because they’d rather take selfies and pictures instead of enjoy your time together. Spending a lot of time worrying about what you’ll post drains the intimacy out of your relationship and out of the time you should be spending together.

#7 Facebook stalking. Facebook can also ruin your chances for a new relationship. Instead of the usual getting-to-know-you stage, you already know a lot about the person. Gone is a totally blind date, because as soon as you know the name of the person, you check them out on Facebook and find out all there is to know. You immediately judge the person based on what you see, without even really knowing what they are all about. The same can go for you, as the person you’re dating may have already judged you through Facebook, before they actually saw you.

#8 Facebook official. For some people, relationships aren’t real unless they’re “Facebook official.” There are countless fights about Facebook statuses, when one party changes their status to “in a relationship,” and the other remains “single.” In the age of social media, there’s always pressure to let other people *read: the world* know what your status is or what you’re up to.

If it’s not on Facebook, it doesn’t exist, and this can be said about your relationship, too. No matter how awesome and happy the relationship is, you are not satisfied unless it’s documented on Facebook, which can give your partner anxiety and, ultimately, make you look superficial and insecure.

How to keep Facebook from ruining relationships

#1 There’s more to your relationship than your Facebook status. Instead of stressing yourself out about what to post on social media, try to look at your relationship and your partner. Find out what makes your relationship better and productive. It doesn’t have to be the places you go to or the food you eat and post on social media. It is all about how you treat each other, even without other people knowing about it.

#2 Be transparent. This shows that you have nothing to hide from each other, thereby fostering more trust. However, while it’s fine to share passwords as a way to reassure your partner that you are not doing any monkey business on Facebook or in any other social media platform, it is still best to know your boundaries. Giving your passwords to one another is a nice gesture, but you don’t have to feel like you have to use it—or worse, troll through your partner’s social media accounts, messages, and friends.

#3 Don’t be friends with exes. Exes should be left in the past, as still seeking them out is rarely provoked by good intentions. If you must, add your ex to your friend’s list—but only if your partner is okay with it. Think about how you would feel if the tables were turned, and it was your partner who was communicating with their ex. 

#4 Don’t air dirty laundry. What’s worse than incessantly posting about displays of affection on Facebook? Posting about your problems and fights with your partner. In fact, no one wants or needs to know about those. You don’t have to tell the whole world the details of how your partner cheated on you, either. It can hurt your partner’s feelings, as well as cheapen your relationship.

#5 Set rules. To avoid having your partner poring over their Facebook newsfeed while you try to catch up with them, set rules about how much time your partner spends on Facebook, especially while you are together. You can both sit down and talk about this, so that you are showing that you respect their sensitivities and preferences, too. Discuss social media no-nos to avoid future disagreements.

#6 Communicate better offline. Instead of making Facebook your outlet for all your frustrations, exercise better communication with your partner. After all, they are the ones who know you better and, if they are the source of your problem, can better address your problem. While expression is fine on Facebook, any issue you have with your partner must be dealt with offline. 

#7 Don’t give room for misinterpretation. Words, especially in spur-of-the-moment posts, can be open to different interpretations. This is true, as well, when you post something that your partner thinks can be a problem with them or with the relationship. Think before you post, and make sure that you are being clear and articulate. Don’t give your partner any room to misinterpret or be hurt by your posts, and avoid any posts that may stir problems, confusion, embarrassment, jealousy, or even gossip.

Like any type of technology, the danger or benefit lies not in itself but on how people use *or abuse* it. When it comes to your relationship, it’s really not Facebook’s fault. You are responsible for how you use social media and how you let it affect your relationship.

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Dating in the 21st Century From a Woman’s Perspective

Dating in the 21st Century From a Woman’s Perspective

It has been brought to my attention the feeble attempts of the new dating scene on 2013. In hearing about a girl getting taken out– the couple has a good time; the female gets called back after three days and wasn’t asked out on another date– now there goes the friend for the swoop in and reap the benefits of the still available for the snatching female! While the other fellow is kicking himself for not stepping up to the plate, time to clear things up a bit in the dating scene from a female perspective and the insane expectations bestowed upon the gender bender.

In the dating game like in relationships women need reassurance. The whole three-day-waiting game to call her is a pretty moderate time frame for her to get all worried and bothered and super excited when you can, but don’t call if you’re not going to ask her out on another date. And if you want to ask her out again then do it if you want! Don’t wait! The opportunity is probably there and if you find out it’s not, pick up the pride and move on. Because if you wait too long, the woman will more than likely completely drop you off her dating radius; you snooze you lose.

I know it gets old hearing that girls love when a guy opens a door. But we absolutely adore it! There’s a point where a girls expectations becomes a little ridiculous like having you flip the bill every single time you go out, opening her car door for her, cooking her dinner constantly or having to choose the dates every time you go out. Let’s face it. Pampering your lady gets exhausting and insanely expensive for you guys. Not saying you can’t handle it but a break of the expectations would be nice. Would it not?

Number one concern of mine personally is why do we use so much technology in communicating? Aren’t things more upfront and personal if you approach someone to ask them out? Why text them? It’s the most superficial for of caring and communication I have ever encountered. Plus phone calls would take less time and be less annoying than a buzz in your pocket every minute. As a female I appreciate more when my boyfriend calls when he can, than when he texts me every few minutes. Maybe it’s just me, but I also cherish those conversations more than the text messages I receive saying “Yup”. If you can also meet in person, do it! Talk about up close and personal! Body language can tell you more than a phone call or text message can! Try it for once and you might learn something about your date or significant other.

Ladies, it’s a new age I hate to say. Chivalry isn’t 100 percent dead, but maybe if we ladies pitch in every once in a while we wouldn’t have such insane stereotypes of being incapable and dumb. Take your man to that sports game he’s been talking about the last month, take him to a movie, pick his sexy face up on his doorstep and get the door for him. And flip the bill for his favorite restaurant.

Mentioning of restaurants and dates, when someone takes you out don’t order the most expensive meal on the menu! Don’t get that ridiculously priced drink! CONSIDERATION PEOPLE! I have a friend who was taken to a fancy seafood joint, who ordered a salmon dinner with three margaritas and she had no idea why he didn’t call her back. Hello! You stacked his bill higher than his wages in a day’s shift! Take that tip and put it in your pocket. Being aware of your actions can show a lot to a man or a woman.

Dating and relationships are both adventures of give and take and to see if sparks fly. I’m not saying we should have lower expectations, but a more level understanding of how we affect the opposite gender and how we thrive off of one another. If a girl wants to ask a guy out, break down those barriers and try it! Making more of an effort to physically confront one another means more than a phone call or a text and by having high expectations we dig ourselves a massive hole we can barely climb out of. And being aware of one’s means financially and emotionally can go a longer ways than one can comprehend. Good luck in these cold times to find someone to trustingly snuggle up to with some hot cocoa!

View the original article here

Is Your Online Dating Profile in a Slump?

According to StatisticBrain.com, 40 million people in the U.S. have tried online dating, a staggering number when you consider that there are only 54 million single adults living here to begin with—and that the kingpin of dating sites, Match.com, isn’t even of legal age to buy a pretty lady a drink at a bar.

But unlike approaching strangers in real life, the first impression you give online often comes from a cursory glance at a self-crafted roundup that acts as a summary of who you are, what you’ve got, and yes, what you look like, neatly packaged and ripe for picking by potential suitors. And if your profile bombs, odds are, those proverbial drinks, or winks, probably won’t be headed your way.

Enter It’s A Date!, a service dedicated to taking your online dating experience from blah to wow! founded by publishing veteran Deborah Sloan, where professional writers and interviewers will swoop in and save your profile from nasty habits like running on (and on) about your dog or using an outdated selfie that reeks of 2001. And yes, creative types: you, too, might need a helping hand, since, as Sloan points out, “Writing about yourself can be hard.”

If you feel like your online dating experience has been less than satisfying, or if you're feeling intrigued, keep reading to learn more about how It’s a Date! works, the number one thing you should avoid talking about online or offline, and how to put your best foot forward on the Internet.

(Photo courtesy of Deborah Sloan)

What’s one of the first questions someone asks you about It’s A Date!?

“How does it work?” or “What happens?” I walk our clients through everything step-by-step and make sure they’re comfortable interviewing with people they’ve never met. It’s pretty basic. A lot of the time, they’ll say they’re not sure what to say [when the questions are asked], so I’ll step in as their cheerleader. We’re trained to not talk about ourselves; it’s not polite. Yet opening up and carefully shaping that information is what’s going to help make a better online dating profile. Beyond that, we’ll get our clients set up with life coaches, help pick out their photos, help decide which dating site is best for them. We make sure each client loves their profile. I follow up with every client to make sure they’re satisfied, but I often never hear from them again—they’re happy and confident with what we’ve provided to them.

One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard about online dating is that someone might seem great on paper (or in their profile), but not so great in person. How do you approach that?

Your online profile will help you attract other people, so you should take it as seriously as anything else you’d prepare for, like a job interview. For example, you’d be working hard on your resumé, maybe call a recruiter for some coaching. What do you do before the big day? You’d get a haircut or have your hair styled, you’d pick out clean clothes, make sure you’re on time. You’d practice your elevator speech. You’d aim to land that job.

As relaxed as you want to be before a date—especially a first date—you’ve got to approach it the same way. It’s disappointing when you go on a date and see that the other person hasn’t taken the time and energy needed to present their best self. As far as someone being, say, not a great conversationalist: one thing I’ve heard from clients is that their profile helps ease their nerves when speaking with someone they’ve just met. Depending on what a particular client needs, we’ll break out certain pieces [of their profile]. People should go into their dates prepared to talk about things. There will be moments of silence and nervousness, of course, but try to keep a few bulleted things in your pocket. And please make sure you’re not just talking about yourself the whole time.

Would you suggest someone practice going on a date, then?

I do. It’s not something you necessarily need to practice with a friend; you can almost coach yourself with self-talk. When I give a speech, for example, I go over it and run it through my head several times before it’s time to do the real thing. Another way someone can ease the pressure is to do some homework. If you’re going to meet for a drink at a bar, check out the menu online. It seems trite, but small details can make us nervous and throw us off. It’s an easy way to keep yourself relaxed.

The number one profile killer is…?

Talking too much about past relationships. Yes, you want to mention you’ve been in a relationship to show you’re capable of having another one, but don’t talk in detail about exes or previous lovers. It’s a total bummer for the person who’s reading it. Same goes for when you’re on the actual date: don’t talk about exes, period. It’s okay to talk about children if you’re a parent, but cap it at a couple lines, max. Some people are uncomfortable talking about jobs with the current state of the economy. I guess the overall message is, don’t go overboard talking about just one thing.

Name your top five reasons why someone should give online dating a try.

1. If you’re thinking about it, you’re dateless—or you’re not getting the right dates. Whatever you’re doing at the moment likely isn’t working. 

2. If you’re shy, it’s great. A lot of people, especially if they’re just starting out with online dating, don’t know where to start. You can try it anonymously, and you can do everything within the privacy of your own home. Eventually, sharing gets easier. 

3. Online dating is just for that: dating. Not everyone at a bar or club is there to meet people. (See: Never Forget the Point of Online Dating)

4. It works. That’s not to say that other things don’t work. But it can be very hard to meet people while out and about. Many of us know of success stories where people have met online. 

5. We’re in the midst of back-to-school season. It’s a fresh start, and a chance to try something new. Think of it like this: you weren’t the same person between 4th and 5th grades. You’re not the same person now as you were last year. You’ve had new experiences. It’s a time to look at what you’ve been doing and see where you can make improvements. You’d take a deep breath before you get on the schoolbus. You can take a deep breath before you create a profile. You’ll find that, just like in school, you’ll probably wind up making some new friends.

View the original article here

How to Stack the Deck in Your Favour When Dating Online

How to Stack the Deck in Your Favour When Dating Online with Fish2FishDating

 

In a couple of previous blogs I got some very interesting comments extolling the dangers of online dating and how dating online couldn't be trusted and how wrong it was...also what was more interesting was the response to another blog which I posted suggesting approaching dating with the right attitude, where a particular commenter argued why there was any need to change.

This is interesting to me because one of the things that I have a strong interest in is "personal development". I have learned from books, course, common sense and personal experience that attitude is everything. In otherwords if you want to something to change then you have to do something different than before. In fact there are 2 statements that were told to me and that is:

1. you can't solve a problem with the same thinking that got you into the problem in the first place
2. the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Now to some of you the above statements are obvious but please still remember them as you go about your day or when you think about an issue you have in front of you. Not just to do with dating either.

My story is I started dating again 18 months ago last year, I was a little surprised by how simple dating sites now were. Also I was surprised at how little help there was on these sites to help people use them effectively to get dates. I had previously been under the impression it was all "done for you" and that you just told them what you wanted and they delivered a list to you and you just got the girls on a chat or emailed them and did your thing. Well that was my experience with the site I'd selected anyway.

New Approach

I was excited but I also knew from bitter experience from the relationship that had just ended (interracial) what I didn't want. I believe that angle of approach worked out to be an advantage because as long as the connection I made didn't "feel" like it was x, y and z or going in that direction then it was a good start. On the list of what I didn't wants wasn't anything to do with beauty, or size or skin colour to give you some idea, it was all do with the attitude and respect and values they had in relating to me. I knew that looks would come into it but as you'll see from the 3 states or outcomes from making a connection that wasn't something to worry about.

I used the ideas here and they worked. Yes, within 3 month after signing up with a dating site I met a girl and after 1 year we were living together, enjoying and appreciating one another. She was physically the opposite of me.  Starting with the fact I'm black and she is Irish and white. I'm slim she's not so slim, I'm 1.75m and she is about 1.5m tall but we communicated beautifully and it just worked. Although we aren’t together now, that initial connection did mean something as we still continue to text and communicate to this day.

Right let’s get down to what I believe is an effective angle of approach in dating, as I said earlier the date site I was on was not very helpful at all, they just kind of left you to it and you had to figure it out for yourself. I know some people found this frustrating and even quit the site looking for greener pastures on another date site that was better and more expensive. They got frustrated there too. I believe the reason was is that their attitude never changed and so they did the same thing that they did on the first site, on the second site and got the same results...sound familiar?

 

Here's what I learned 

 

All dating sites are pretty much the same. In fact a lot of them use the same databases hence my girlfriend wasn't actually on my dating site at all but was obviously fishing in the same lake or database when we met.

  

You have to be honest and positive in everything you post on the site, which includes your profile, your correspondence with others as well as your "dating diary" entries. Yes, our site had somewhere you could post things for others to read.

 

 

 

There is No Try

 

What you give is what you get. If you sat round the outside and waited for a night on a white horse to arrive that’s all you would ever do...wait! Those that had the most fun acted and did something. I saw people older than myself having a great time sharing funny stories and jokes everyday on the dating diaries. I also saw a few people simply moaning every day and that's all they ever did. Crazy really as they diary could only be read by guys and not fellow girls so they just came across as difficult and to be avoided - Which is probably exactly what happened to them until they quit.

  

The big idea of a dating site is to arrange face to face meetings with people that you felt you might have a good connection with. Again this probably sounds obvious. But I was out having fun with almost a date a week (no it wasn't me, I was always asked by girls) I would be asked by girls if I'd like to meet them after they'd chatted and even talked on the phone to me for a time.

  

Here's the thing though, I would more often than not say yes, and the other thing which I think was smart, was that I always showed up and as best I could, on-time too. Because my attitude was good and positive in all the correspondence I’d had with all girls, in the end I would was building friendships with lots of women I considered friends. Some would ask my opinion on their situation.

 

Release Your Inner Goddess

One woman I recall had been chatting with a younger guy for months but never got to have a date with him for one reason or another. I told her carefully that I get the feeling that she didn't join the dating site for "SEXting" she joined because she wanted to go on a “good to honest date” with a guy the way it should be. After I said those words I could almost feel a relieving sigh come from her. I advised her that she should contact him and do the alternative close of "I think that we kind of know a fair bit about each other now and so I think would be good if we get together and meet up. I'm free on <this date> and <that date> which day is good for you?

 

I told her that if he then does a “porky pig” impression and it sounds like he's making excuses then give up, move on and talk to someone else. In fact she should have been talking to lots of people anyway. Get some self-respect back and engage with the world. A few days later she told me she had been a bit scared but she did what I asked and he had "hummed and hared" so she blew him out and went fishing again, found someone else to talk to but now with the new confidence. She then using the alternative close in a natural manner, to booked a date and was excited, not at all anxious about meeting this new guy, as now she had reveal her inner goddess!

Online dating is not where it starts and finishes. It is merely a way to market yourself and others to market themselves to a bigger pond or lake with more fishes. I know "market" sounds a bit cold or clinical but isn't nature like that sometimes in the animal kingdom?!

You can fish in a pool with more fishes than just your neighbourhood dance, local nightclub or bar. Besides if you don't want in a few years to be complaining that your husband or wife is always hanging around in bars, maybe an idea to look for a partner in less artificial environment.

 

You Are in Control

You are in control and the same as in the offline life you can have three situations - you like them and chat and arrange a date, or you become friends and maybe meet anyway as friends, or if it's not clicking you ignore them. Absolutely no different to people you meet in everyday life and before there was anything like online dating in the first place.

People can get so hung up with the idea of online dating but all it is a way to filter out the people you have no connection with or interest in, so you can possibly choose to meet the good you are interested in. As the pool is pretty large and because of marketing to a "targeted" audience, in other words they are looking for people to meet, it's a great place to start to filter.

  

Never worry about dropping someone that doesn’t appeal to you. They're going to be lots of others if you keep up the positive message output. Again remember "some are going to be friends, others dates and others ignore. That's it - PERIOD!

  

Stressing over again, do put up honest profiles and photos and don't be scared to talk about the things you enjoy. Also don't do the daters shopping list approach where you putting down huge shopping list of what you want in a guy or girl. If you do you ain't gonna get a very good response. Most people have a lower self-image than the reality. Check it yourself...if someone stated they wanted a "pretty, highly attractive girl" would you know what they meant or if you qualified? If you say you want someone with a good sense of humour and the terribly clichéd line "enjoys the finer things in life" (what the hell does that mean) you will get lukewarm responses, and for the same reason if you say you want someone handsome like Brad Pitt then there are not that many guys that think they measure up. However if they thought they did then they would also be looking for an Angelina Jolie so that is no help to you (unless you are like Angelina of course). Put down what you enjoy and you what you like doing. If you have a certain type of humour try to include it in the profile text or dating diary if you can, therefore if that doesn't put them off you can be sure they're likely to be attracted by your profile or diary and all your you-ness!

  

Repeat the above over and over with a positive attitude. Don't get hung up on looking for the ONE. From experience there are lots of ones. The pool is huge it's up to you now to filter out who are friends, dates and people to ignore.

Fish2Fish  Founder - Colin Robergtson
Dating tips and concepts that work

That's basically it for now. After I found my ONE I decided to pass on my experiences (and knowledge) with others and eventually created Fish2Fish Dating to allow people to put things into practice with my help being available for them everyday to get positive results where previously they'd had been dating for months without any success. With what we teach at Fish2Fish is how to put fun and excitement in to corresponding and connecting with prospective dates then actually going on a date. 

Please feel free get in touch if you have any questions about the info here.

All the best...

Colin J Robertson - Founder of Fish2Fish Dating 

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Does He Like Me? 10 Signs the Feelings are Mutual

How much easier were things when we were kids? We weren’t worried about money because money had no meaning to us. Our parents did their best to give us what we needed and boy, didn’t we take that for granted. Summer vacation was something to look for – two months with nothing to do but have fun and be young. If you wanted to know if a boy liked you, you simply had to get your friend to give him a note that read, “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” How innocent and sweet!

The charm of youth. source: Chris Masters)

Things are decidedly more difficult as adults. Trying to decode what the man in your life is telling you can be difficult and it’s easy to misread signals. Things that seem bad aren’t always bad. Things that seem good aren’t always good. Should you continue to pursue him or are you chasing a fantasy? Here are ten signs that the object of your affection is into you like you’re into him.

He notices things your other friends don’t. (source: epSos.de)

10: He notices little things about you.

Perhaps he notices when you do something different with your hair. Perhaps he just notices that you smile a particular way when you find something funny that’s different from the way you smile when you’re just being polite. He might notice the little subtle differences in your mood – when you’re happy instead of just okay or when you’re feeling a little under the weather. If you’re friends don’t notice, but he does – there’s a good chance he’s into you.

He is creative with his compliments. (source: Robert McDonald)

09: He compliments things other people don’t compliment.

Let’s say you have a nice body and people are always complimenting that body. If the object of your affection drops a compliment about your eyes or your hair, you’ll definitely notice. Chances are, he knows you have a nice body but is he trying to find a way to set himself apart from the other guys that offer compliments. Maybe he compliments an idea you have or a certain choice of words. If he compliments your mind, he appreciates who you are inside and not just out.

He makes a real effort to see you. (source: Toshimasa Ishibashi)

08: He goes out of his way to talk to you.

Sure he might stop and chat if he sees you in the grocery store or at a bar, but does he go out of his way to talk to you? Does he call you? Does he visit at work? Anything that requires extra effort on his part to get a little of your time can be considered going out of his way to talk to you. The further out of his way he’ll go, the more into you he likely is. This doesn’t count if he always asks about your best friend or your sister. He might be seeking you out for a whole other reason.

Phone calls ‘just because’. (source: Nerissa's Ring)

07: He calls you on a regular basis just to talk.

There’s plenty of guys out there who’ll call you to hang out. We call those guys friends. If the object of your affection calls you up to just chit chat without any real clear purpose, he likes hearing your voice and he misses having you around enough to call you up. If he’s calling to discuss problems all the time, you’re just a friend, but if he just wants to talk about what you’re up to and what he’s up to without asking anything of you or getting into a phone therapy session, he’s probably into you.

He thinks everyone should treat you like a princess. (source: The Hudson Family)

06: He gets angry or upset with how other people treat you.

If someone is harassing you, threatening you, or beating you around, your friends are going to be upset no matter what. Heck, I don’t know most of you reading this, and I’m upset for you. What you’re looking for here is a guy that gets upset if someone isn’t treating you up to his standards. If he thinks you deserve to be treated like a queen, there’s a pretty good chance your affection is reciprocated.

Little thoughtful gifts for no reason mean he thinks about you. (source: Ken's Oven)

05: He buys you thoughtful little gifts for no reason.

He doesn’t have to lavish you with expensive gifts of gold and diamonds to let his intentions be known. If he’s out somewhere and sees a little something that makes him think of you and he actually picks it up for you and offers it as a random gift, you probably have an admirer. If he does this for all of his friends, he’s probably just a generous kind of guy. Vacation, birthday or Christmas presents don’t count unless it’s something way out of the ordinary that no guy would give a girl he thinks of as ‘just a friend’. Consult your other friends on this one.

Affectionate touching is a good sign. (source: Mike Baird)

04: He touches you in an affectionate but not sexual way.

Don’t take a guy grabbing your caboose as a sign he wants to settle down with you. If he’s grabbing your bum but you’re not sure he’s interested in you in a romantic way, it’s pretty safe to assume he wanted to do something with you, but that likely doesn’t include a wedding ring or anything even close to that. If you’re looking for a fling, then go for it. All the more power to you. If the object of your affection’s content with putting his arm around you, touching your hands and maybe even brushing your hair out of your face, there is a very good chance that he likes you in more than a friendly sort of way.

He wants to look his best when he sees you. (source: Christian Mairitsh)

03: He dresses up to spend time with you.

We’re not talking suits and ties here, ladies – at least not exclusively. More than that though, don’t assume he isn’t into you if he doesn’t dress up. Some guys are just t-shirt and jeans kind of guys. My husband is. He didn’t even wear a suit to our wedding and I love that about him. This more refers to a guy that normally takes a more relaxed approach to their appearance who suddenly seems to be paying a little more attention to it. If he’s brushing his hair when he’s more of a messy hair kinda guy there’s a good chance he’s into you.

He wants to be able to talk to you about what you like talking about. (source: Hugo Chisholm)

02: He takes a special interest in things you’re interested in.

Do you like music? Does the object of your affection suddenly want to know more about music? There’s a good chance he’s into you. If he’s brushing up on the bands you’re interested in (the same can be said for movies, books, sports etc), he wants to have something he can talk to you about. Take this as a definite good sign – especially if he starts recommending things to you. It doesn’t matter if its something you’ve heard of. It’s the thought that counts. He’s trying to find common ground – not something many people will do with people they just consider friends.

He really hears what you’re saying. (source: Simon James)

01: He really listens when you talk, even if you’re not saying much.

If you’re telling a long, rambling story (come on, we’ve all done it. I even make a living doing it) but he is hanging on every word, there is a more than decent chance he’s interested in more than friendship. Listening shows that he’s interested in what you have to say; not just waiting for your turn to talk. How much he listens is a pretty good indication of how interested he is. If your talking about buying toothpaste and he is reacting like it’s the most wildly enthralling story he’s heard since you bought deodorant, he’s definitely into you – way into you.

If you've been reading over this list saying, “He’s done that” and “He does that all the time”, stop worrying about whether or not he likes you. He clearly does. Get the ball rolling. Let him know you like him too. You don’t have to wait for him to make his move. Tell him you’re interested and let things progress from there.

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