Come on girls we should all be supporting the same side, so do everyone a favour and get your own boyfriend, leave the ones that are taken alone'. - Susan
She’s Flirting With My Boyfriend! A Survival Guide
Nearly every relationship is challenged by a poacher. She might be a co-worker, a ‘friend,’ an ex, or perhaps just some drunk at your local watering hole. Sometimes the situation can be a lot worse. If it’s your friend, or a neighbour, this can turn the situation very sour, very quickly.
So how do you deal with a relationship poacher? First, you need to make sure that the girl is definitely on the prowl, and you’re not getting worked up over nothing. Luckily, the signs are loud and clear.
Signs That She’s A Poacher
- She randomly appears wherever you go
- Girl will talk your boyfriend’s ear off…but she won’t include you in the conversation
- She’ll avoid making eye contact with you when she talks to him
- Although she may throw you a bitchy smile when he’s not looking
- Any opportunity to touch him, she’ll take it
- If they’re friends on social media, she’s the one liking every. single. post
- But if you’re in his post, then she’s never clicked ‘like’
- She may call or text him at odd hours
This behaviour would be enough to enrage anyone! But before you go Cat 5. Hulk, STOP. It’s time to take a deep breath, count to five, and read this guide.
Step One – Don’t Surrender Your Power
A woman who hits on a taken man has issues. She might be desperate for attention, and is almost guaranteed to be cripplingly insecure. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that those two traits often spell disaster. The worst thing you can do is feed her desire for attention by getting angry, or confronting her. By acknowledging her as a threat to your relationship, you’re handing over your power.
For some crazy ladies, ending up with your man isn’t even her real goal. She might want to see if she’s hot enough to threaten you! It could be a challenge, rather than an invasion. Keep your sense of humour, and laugh at her antics! Isn’t it a little embarrassing that she’s behaving like this?
Step Two – Be Assertive
When a girl hits on your boyfriend, make it clear that you’re together. Homegirl might be drunk and not realize that the two of you were official (yeah, right), BUT give her a chance to see that her target is spoken for. Hug, kiss, or pull your boyfriend away to dance. If she pursues, be assertive. If she’s talking to him, hold your boyfriend’s hand and interrupt her if it’s going on for too long. If she’s brazenly trying to take him on the dance floor, whip out your iPhone and start filming. You’d be surprised how reluctant people are to act like fools, when there’s a danger of it going viral. Feel free to yell across the dance floor ‘Ha! This will do great on YouTube!’
Step Three – Communicate
If she’s still making the moves on your man, after steps one and two, it’s time to hand this one over to your boyfriend. He should be responsible for defusing the situation.
A relationship without communication is like a bucket with a hole in it. No matter how much you pour into it, the bucket will always be empty. If a woman flirts with your man, discuss it with him. Be reasonable. Don’t be accusatory. If your relationship is the real deal, he’ll understand and find a way to get rid of the interloper. It’s ultimately the responsibility of your boyfriend to step in, and tell this chick to back off. If he gets super defensive, and seems to be enjoying her attention, be on red alert.
Step Four – Analyse
Let’s say your boyfriend did no wrong. The girl pounced on him like a mountain lion. Yet he did everything in his power to avoid her. You may still feel shaken to the core. We become territorial over our partners. When someone thinks that they can take away someone you love, it can be a scary sensation. If your boyfriend is acting legit, don’t allow your fear to cause you to lash out. Acting jealous and angry towards your boyfriend can cause more damage to your relationship than this girl. But showing that you can handle conflict with grace could strengthen your relationship. And if your man has acted trustworthy, now you may feel a deeper bond of trust and love! You might end up thanking Skanky McPhee for strengthening your love for each other! But we won’t count on it…
The Do’s & The Don’ts
Do
- Stay calm
- Be assertive, and present
- Keep a sense of humour
- Observe his behaviour
- Sober up before making any decisions
- Out flirt her!
- Use a Reverse Phone Lookup if you find any numbers in the back pocket of his jeans the following day
- Communicate
Don’t
- Get angry
- Lash out
- Throw your drink
- Get physical
- Accuse your boyfriend of cheating
- Get into a public argument
- Flirt with another guy to even the score
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