Friday, 5 June 2015

5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate

5 Nice Things Guys Do That Girls Actually Hate

Thoughtful gestures—as long as your heart's in the right place—will win you points, right?

Sorry, wrong. In fact, many of the nice things you do for your girlfriend may actually be driving her crazy: Buying her jewelry that's not her style, surprising her with romance at inopportune times, trying to fix her problems (rather than just listening to them), for example. What sweet, point-winning moves are you making that she secretly hates?

It's not quite as tricky as it sounds, says psychologist Alicia Clark, PsyD. "The problem mainly happens when a gesture isn't fully considered in terms of how a partner will feel," Clark says. "Thinking of how she'll feel about something is always a safe move to make sure your thoughtful gestures are received in the way you intended."

Okay, consider her feelings and you'll probably do fine—but here are some moves to avoid anyway.

1. Buying her jewelry
I love jewelry—most women do. So why am I almost always disappointed when a guy presents me with something sparkly? "Guys make the mistake of thinking that the broad category of 'jewelry' is enough," says relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. "It's not." Women are very particular about jewelry, she says, and if you're not paying attention to what she actually likes and wears, your thoughtful gift comes across as a lack of interest.

"It looks like you don't know or care about what she really loves," Thomas says. "If you're going to buy her jewelry, you'd better know what she likes to wear. You can look for clues—does she like hearts, does she like gold or silver, is she drawn to bigger or smaller pieces?"

Why won't he just listen to me?

2. Trying to fix her problems
Unless her problem is a leaky faucet, a hard-to-hang painting, or a spider, she probably doesn't want you to fix it. "Men and women are very different in this regard," says psychotherapist Vinita Mehta, Ph.D. "When a woman is feeling down, she typically wants to be heard and have her feelings validated."

Translation: If she's having issues with her best friend or a colleague at work, she wants to vent, not come up with a solution. All you have to do is listen to her and (occasionally) agree.

3. Lavishing her with gifts
A pretty necklace here, some roses there—that's fine. But a constant onslaught of clothes, jewelry, perfume, and other "thinking of you" trinkets? Not smart.

She dislikes your avalanche of gifts for a couple of reasons. According to Clark, too much masculine care-taking behavior (i.e. buying her things) feels controlling, especially if she's gainfully employed and financially capable of taking care of herself. Also, even if your intentions are pure, she feels pressure to reciprocate—and no woman wants to be in a relationship where she constantly feels one step behind.

4. Jumping in the shower without an invitation
I'm all for sexy shower time—but when I'm 20 minutes late and trying to simultaneously shave my legs and deep-condition my hair, you'd better have a damn good reason for hopping in and stealing half the hot water. "Physical space is an important component in relationships," Clark says. "Entering another's space uninvited—even if you're trying to be affectionate—can fall flat."

I'm not saying you can't be spontaneous and romantic, just try not to do it when we're pressed for time or in the middle of getting ready: No girl wants to be dragged away for a quickie when she's halfway done with her makeup.


5. Checking in on her
You know the drill: Drop her off, but wait until she's inside before driving off. That's fine—no woman is going to fault you for seeing her safely home. But when you start asking her where she is, or when she's coming back, even if it's just because you care about her and are excited to see her, she'll start getting irritated.

"This is almost always meant to convey interest, caring, and affection," says Clark. "But it can read to her as controlling and jealous. Too much attention can feel invasive." Bottom line: Unless she asks you to, or you need her immediate expertise on how to put out a kitchen fire (or something), try not to check in on her.

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Thursday, 4 June 2015

Health: Top Five Myths About Cellulite

Top Five Myths About Cellulite

By Lauren Fischer 




Cellulite, fat deposits beneath the skin, plagues the thighs and behinds of nearly 90 percent of women -- even the most fit among us. And while there is no treatment for eliminating those pesky dimples, certain factors can reduce their appearance. With facts and myths abounding, Las Fabulosas tackles the top five.

1. Cellulite only affects older women.

Cellulite worsens with age, but it typically appears on women between the ages of 25 and 35. Determining factors can include genetics -- take a look at mom's hormonal factors -- and the reality is that as women get older, the skin thins and loosens, making cellulite more visible. 

2. Cellulite only affects women who are overweight.

Cellulite can affect naturally thin women who don't exercise or eat a healthy diet. Cellulite is determined by the structure of skin, so weight is not a direct cause of cellulite. Excess weight and a buildup of fat, however, may make cellulite more visible. 


3. Lifestyle is irrelevant.

Cellulite can worsen with unhealthy lifestyle choices. Stress, smoking, a high-fat diet and even overexposure to the sun can contribute to the severity of cellulite. Consume plenty of water, whole grains, greens like broccoli and asparagus, fish high in omega-3 fatty acids and berries to help eliminate cellulite-causing toxins from the body. Finally, your tans may initially mask the appearance of cellulite, but over time, harmful UV rays can weaken the skin and worsen dimples. 

4. Cardio reduces the appearance of cellulite.

Fat-burning cardio is great for heart health and increasing circulation, but other exercise routines may be more beneficial for reducing cellulite. Build lean muscle and tone problem areas with strengthening routines. Short, high-intensity workouts that integrate weights, such as lunges, squats or resistance bands, will build smooth muscle tissue in your back, behind, thighs and hips. 

5. Creams will cure cellulite.

Unfortunately, there is still no miracle cream to cure cellulite. In fact, there is no proven remedy for cellulite at all. Creams made to eliminate cellulite can help change the appearance of the skin, however, tightening and thickening the skin to make cellulite less visible. Look for ingredients such as caffeine and vitamin A.



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23 Tips To Blow Away 1st Date Stress!

23 Tips To Blow Away 1st Date Stress!

You're excited, nervous, doubtful, hopeful, ambivalent, hesitant, happy...
These are just a few of the thoughts and emotions most people experience when preparing for a first date.

Dating should be fun! Whether you are just starting out, dating again for the first time after many years or somewhere in-between, there are universal concerns that many share.
If you're looking for advice and suggestions on what you should or shouldn't do read no further. You won't find them here.

Prefer to craft your own opinions rather than taking those of well meaning friends, family and article writers? Identify your needs and desires ahead of time. Remove stress and empower yourself. Take control ... read on!

No one can predict how a first date will turn out. There are simply too many variables. I'd like to make one suggestion for your consideration. Be your authentic self!Don't create a false first date persona that you will have to maintain if all goes well.

Here are some questions to ponder before your first encounter. Thinking ahead goes a long way towards reducing dating anxiety.

  • What if anything do I owe a first date?
  • Will I have to break the ice by starting the conversation? If so, what will I say?
  • How do I respond if he starts with a question I'm uncomfortable answering?
  • What amount of information should I share ... tell him I've been married before, have children, am widowed...?
Should I mention my kids?
  • Should I talk about my ex? Discuss my children showing pictures I really love?
  • What should I absolutely, positively not reveal?
  • Am I comfortable discussing political or religious views?
  • What questions can I ask that will reveal her real personality and disposition?
  • What signs will show me this guy is a real jerk?
  • What about questions of views on sex ... am I OK talking about them?
  • Suppose I'm only physically attracted ... do I consider a second date?
  • What if he's 20 years older than his Internet picture or she's 25 pounds heavier?
  • What if he seems nice with good values but a bit dull ... not exactly my type but a decent guy ... do I give him another chance and see what develops?
  • How can I politely show I'm not interested?
  • If she really turns me on do I tell her?
  • How can I make sure I'm not showing too much interest so I don't scare him off?
  • What if I suspect he's being a little bit phony ... how important is that ... am I being my real self?
  • If she offers to split the bill or pay how do I handle it?
  • What do I say if I don't want to see her again ... do I take her number?
  • What criteria will I use to determine if I want to see him/her again?
    •
  • How do I communicate that I really like him and want to ensure a second date?
  • What if I'm totally ambivalent and not sure if I want to see him again?
  • Will I consider dating someone I'm not romantically interested in simply to share some companionship?
Do any of these questions sound familiar? Are there a bunch more you can add? 

Remove the stress associated with a first date!
Before you agree to meeting give thought to the questions above and any others that come to mind.
Take the time to examine but not obsess about what you are looking for in a first date. It will remove a tremendous amount of worry and anxiety which often doom an initial meeting from the get go.
Give some thought to your expectations beforehand then realize it's simply one date. It might be fantastic, mediocre or a disaster. Whatever the outcome ... you'll survive! 

Sometimes things just happen and begin to take on a life of their own. That's fate. Go with the flow!

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Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Multiple Orgasms for Men?


Multiple Orgasms for Men?

The fascinating technique that might open up whole new sexual experience

As a society we carry a lot of entrenched ideas about sex. Perhaps one of the most deeply ingrained assumptions is that women can have multiple orgasms, and that men can't. But is that really true?
In 1986, sex therapists William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian put together the book, Any Man Can. They describe that by withholding ejaculation, men can experience "a number of sexual peaks." 
"The multi-orgasmic men we have studied have chosen to develop that capacity (stopping ejaculation using learned techniques)… The behavior itself (interrupting orgasm via such techniques) appears to be at least four thousand years old," they wrote, 
More than a decade later, sex educator Jack Johnston came out with a training program to help men work towards this experience. Johnston told me over the phone that he’s made it his life’s work to dispel the myth that only women are capable of experiencing multiple orgasms.
“Men and women are physiologically a lot more similar than people realize.Vive la différence, of course, but in terms of the neurological capacity for experiencing the orgasmic impulses, we’re wired in quite a similar manner.”
He added, “I try to help reacquaint people with the idea that orgasm is an energetic event, and that for men, it’s not automatically linked to ejaculation. They’re two separate events. Two separate reflexes.”
In contrast to other “experts,” Johnston avoids conventional “squeeze techniques” that encourage men to stop just short of “the point of no return.” These techniques typically require that men clench pelvic floor muscles, slow their breathing and allow the urge to ejaculate to pass.
As Johnston explained, “That’s not really a whole lot of fun for anybody. You’re constantly monitoring, it’s like ‘Am I there yet? Maybe I can go a little further. Oh shucks, I went too far.’”
“My working hypothesis was that there’s got to be a better way than that. I don’t think our creator was sadistic in that way.”
Johnston’s program is known as The Key Sound Multiple Orgasm (KSMO) training. The “Key Sound” refers to a particular sound one can make while engaging in some light stimulation during solo (or partnered) practice sessions, separate from the act of intercourse. He insists the vibrations brought on by the sound can help “unlock” the key to multiple orgasms.
One satisfied client writes, “As the sensations became stronger, my vocal expressions became deeper and louder. I continued until I was so overwhelmed by this feeling I literally could not move anymore – pleasantly paralyzed by orgasm with no urge to ejaculate.”
But while most men believe penile stimulation to be the primary means by which to experience orgasm, Johnston recommends  guys bypass the penis and head for the perineum (the area between the scrotum and anus) during their solo sessions.
Johnston’s refers to the perineal area as the “the male G-spot.” Part of his training revolves around “helping men locate that area of their body, and then, as part of the 'Multiple Orgasm Trigger,' practice to gently massage [the perineal] area just enough to get a little tingle, or a little rush.” Johnston calls these sensations “Echo Effects.”
“How does one increase arousal to orgasmic intensity without using lots and lots of stimulation? For men in particular, more and more stimulation tends to trigger the ejaculation reflex. So the idea is, in a sense, how do you learn to sneak up on the orgasm?”
“Very often, orgasm is centered right in the genital area, whereas the method that I teach tends to occur throughout ones body. One experiences arousal throughout one's body. Neurologically, it’s all connected throughout the body, so the idea is to become aware of that. To become aware that when someone becomes aroused it’s not just in the genital area, those waves of energy start flowing throughout one's entire body.”
On the official forum, one of Johnston's clients reports, "As I am doing my sessions, I am really getting new sensations each time. Presently, I am feeling my prostate pumping (for lack of a better word) and this is causing me to get a slight erection. When my prostate pumps, it is sending pre-cum and I am beginning to leak a little. I have to stay relaxed because I feel that I could cross over and ejaculate. This pumping of my prostate are mini orgasms (I assume) and they feel great. My entire body is hot, shaking, and feeling really amazing. I can do this for about an hour and maybe a little longer."
Another writes, "Tonight, after doing my 20 minutes and then sort of absent mindedly continuing, I do believe I had my first full body, non-ejaculatory orgasm. It just sort of came on as I was massaging the base of my penis, from out of nowhere--NOT like it came from within my body. It felt like a heat throughout my body, and a sort of giddiness, almost like the light, first rush of MDMA (er...or so I've read...).
"And the crazy thing was, instead of feeling like the orgasm was in me, it felt like I was in the orgasm--like it was surrounding and suffusing my whole body like a field of energy. Pretty wild."
Johnston recommends that his clients practice the technique for 20 minutes every other day. He notes that ejaculation should be avoided on days devoted to practice.
He explained that in contrast to the “traditional” male ejaculatory orgasm, multiple orgasms typically arrive in “waves." And since they aren’t linked to ejaculation, one’s energy doesn’t dissipate as it does when one ejaculates. He added that after having mastered the technique, most men come to prefer these kind of orgasms.
He continued, “It lasts so much longer. The after glow lasts so much longer too. It’s the kind of energy that can infuse your whole being.” He also notes that, after having completed the training, many men report experiencing more intense ejaculatory orgasms as well.
But mastering the physical technique is only half the battle. As Johnston explained, a good part of his training revolves around teaching men to expand their understanding of sexual pleasure, and open themselves up to the different means by which it can be attained.
He tells me, “There are a lot of people who think that it's important for intellectual integrity to be really, really skeptical. I think it’s appropriate to have some skepticism, but it’s also really essential not to just be attached to being a skeptic. In the face of evidence to the contrary, one needs to have the intellectual integrity to consider it.”
“Once we learn the facts about our physiology, and what’s really possible. That’s a whole new world.”
Some people have years of sexual experience under their belt. Some don’t. But no matter where you land on the path of sexual self-exploration, it’s never too late to rewrite certain standards, and never too soon to start experimenting with different points of pleasure, no matter how obscure they may seem. 

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        Tuesday, 2 June 2015

        Masturbation: All the Ways Self Love Is Good for You

        Photo Credit: Shutterstock

        Masturbation: All the Ways Self Love Is Good for You


        As we get better at self-love, we get better at making love to others.

        In 1995 Jocelyn Elders was fired as Surgeon General of the United States for suggesting that masturbation should (maybe) be taught in schools. That same year, sex-toy company Good Vibrations launched National Masturbation Month to help break down stigmas surrounding the practice. Twenty years later, National Masturbation Month has grown into International Masturbation Month. And while things are slowly starting to come around, there still doesn't seem to be enough love surrounding the act of self-love.
        As Susan Block once told me, “You are your own longest term lover.” Now that masturbation month is drawing to a close, it’s important to be reminded of that. While partnered sex is certainly a thrilling endeavor, a little solo practice can go a long way in enhancing the experience. Listed below are 10 examples of how.

        1. It helps you get acquainted with your orgasms.
        If we were to compare sex to an ice cream sundae, orgasm would be the cherry on top. And while failing to reach that end certainly doesn’t discredit the experience, it can leave you craving something more. Masturbation is an easy way to get acquainted with your orgasms, and more importantly, where to locate them. Of course, some people have an easier time finding their pleasure centers than others. It’s not like guys have to go digging to find their sex organs (unless of course, they’re looking for the pleasurable prostate, but more on that another day). Women, on the other hand, do. But just as the trip to the liquor store gets shorter once you know the route, orgasms become easier to attain the more time you spend looking for them. There are certain things in life we like to leave to chance. When and how you experience orgasm doesn’t have to be one of them.

        2. It helps layer the the sexual experience.
        Masturbation can take different forms. Some people like using their hands. Others rely on toys. Preferences will differ, but, hey, variety is a good thing. And the more comfortable we become with solo-sexual activities, the more likely we are to bring them into a partnered environment. Masturbation is a pretty reliable way to experience orgasm, so it makes sense to introduce masturbatory activities into other areas of our sexual lives. As clinical sexologist Kat Van Kirk told You Beauty, “Sex begets sex." She added, “The more often a woman is sexually aroused – even by herself – the more likely she is to not only want more sex with a partner, but also be more orgasmic when she does.”

        3. It can work as a sleep-aid.
        Having an orgasm is a great way to relax. That’s what makes it such a perfect note to end the day on. But while most of us can relate to that feeling of post-pleasure laziness, not all of us have the science down to explain it. And that’s okay, that’s what the Internet is for.  Shape magazine reports that the hormone prolactin is released in the brain following climax. This not only leads to a refractory period after orgasm, but an increase in drowsiness as well. Oxytocin and vasopressin are also present in the cocktail of chemicals released during climax. As LiveScience explains, their “release frequently accompanies that of melatonin, the primary hormone that regulates our body clocks.”

        4. It makes being single that much easier.
        One of the most obvious perks to being in a relationship is that you’re having sex on the reg (and maybe on the rag, too). Not that single folks aren’t getting laid. Casual encounters can be wonderful experiences, but they can also be unreliable and leave you less-than-satisfied. When that turns out to be the case, it’s nice to know that you’ve got a helping hand to turn to – your own hand, that is. As the late George Carlin once said, “If God had intended us not to masturbate, he would’ve made our arms shorter.”

        5. It puts you in a better mood.
        WebMD reports “Masturbation increases blood flow throughout your body and releases feel-good brain chemicals called endorphins.” Nicole Prause told the publication, “That may explain why there’s a clear mood benefit, even if you don’t orgasm.” She added, “It takes your mind [off your worries] while activating areas of the brain associated with pleasure.” That all sounds pretty promising. If that doesn’t sell you on the act, maybe a piece of information from clinical sexologist Gloria Brame will. She told Men’s Health magazine, “An orgasm is the biggest non-drug blast of dopamine available… A brain scan of someone having an orgasm looks like a heroin addict’s.”

        6. It can relieve pain.
        Most people would agree that maturbating is a lot more fun than popping a few Tylenol. And the list of ailments it can help cure is impressive. Medical Daily explains how having an orgasm can help cure anything form headaches to hiccups; menstrual cramps to morning sickness. Back in 1985, famed sex researcher Beverly Whipple conducted two separate studies to help prove the ways in which female masturbation can actually help increase one’s tolerance for pain.

        7. It can help keep you hard.
        Image result for male modelling underpantsA study published in the American Journal Of Medicine found that men who reported having sex less than once a week were twice as likely to develop erectile dysfunction. The message was the more sex (or at least the more orgasms) you have, the less likely you are experience impotence. Or more simply put, you use it, or you lose it.
        While some urologists remain skeptical of the findings, most agree that experiencing erections can help maintain sexual function. Men’s Health magazine writes “Regular sex or masturbation works out your pelvic floor muscles to prevent erectile dysfunction and incontinence.” As Gloria Brame told the publication, “It keeps the angle of your dangle perky.”

        8. It makes your hair look better.
        Michael Roizen, co-founder of YouBeauty writes, “Each hair follicle has a blood vessel to it, and your blood flow is a major determinate of both internal and external beauty.” As we know, orgasms help increase blood flow. Self-induced orgasms are no different. The more blood we get pumping through our system the more oxygen and nutrients reach different parts of our bodies – the scalp included. So every time you head south of the border during a moment alone, remember, you’re not just giving your genitals some love. You’re nourishing your hair as well.

        9. It helps mediate the effects of menopause.
        Gynecologist Judi Chervenak explained to Web MD that during menopause, “The vagina can actually narrow, which can make intercourse and vaginal exams more painful.” She added that masturbation – especially with a water-based lubricant can “prevent narrowing, boost blood flow, relieve some tissue and moisture problems, and increase sexual desire.”

        10. It can help keep you (and your junk) healthy.
        Jennifer Landa, a specialist in hormone therapy told Men’s Health, “Masturbation can [produce] the right environment for a strengthened immune system.” She explained that ejaculation can elevate cortisol levels – a hormone that can actually help regulate and maintain immunity, "in small doses." And back in 2003, a team of Australian researchers found that men who ejaculated more than five times week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer. So gentleman, keep at it, and keep healthy. Your families will thank you.

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        Advice on How to Avoid Being Taken in by Online Romance Scammers


        Advice on How to Avoid Being Taken in by Online Romance Scammers
        Image result for couples in love



        Men really are capable of the most atrocious behavior, aren’t they, er, we? On behalf of my gender, I apologize.

        I’m assuming it’s largely men who perpetrate the romance scams that I wrote about last week. Authorities say the scammers work out of West Africa, whence they often imitate U.S. servicemen on online dating services and Facebook, hunting for women whose wallets they can winkle open.

        I heard from several readers who encountered such scammers. One said she was on an online dating site two years ago when she “met” two men who said they were Delta Force guys serving in Afghanistan. “When the second used almost the exact wording as the first, I copied and pasted it into a search engine to discover that pretending to be overseas in some type of special forces unit is a commonly used and known scam,” she wrote.

        A 73-year-old reader from Woodbridge, Va., met a man online at Meetup.com. He said he lived near Dulles Airport and even mentioned a favorite restaurant nearby. “Weeks passed as we exchanged e-mails, some rather risque,” she wrote. “We even talked on my cellphone number.”
        The man explained that his job involved shipping construction equipment around the world. He was on what he said was an emergency trip to Amsterdam when his shipment was held up in customs. “Lo and behold, a call came 16 or so hours later,” my reader wrote. “His wallet had been stolen and he needed $1,300 for lodging via Western Union.”
        Her offer to call an Amsterdam hotel and pay for two nights of lodging by credit card was refused. The man wanted cash. Scam!
        “I’ve learned a valuable lesson,” she wrote. “Never give out your e-mail, phone number or address to anyone you have not met face to face. And when you do meet, make it a public place.”

        Barb Sluppick lives outside Branson, Mo., and has been following romance scams for as long as anyone. In 2005, she was sitting at her computer when a stranger popped up on Yahoo Messenger. He said he was an English businessman living in Phoenix but working in Nigeria. They flirted online for three weeks, at which point the man said he wanted to come visit Barb but couldn’t cash a check. Could she front him the money?
        When Barb said no, he called her on the phone. She asked why he seemed to have a Nigerian accent, not an English one. “He said he got it from living there for a couple of months,” Barb said.
        Barb didn’t fall for the scam, and in 2008, she started what became www.romancescams.org, an online resource for victims.

        In the years since then, scammers have gotten more sophisticated. They work in teams, perfecting their online patter, responding to cues they glean from would-be victims, love-bombing them in a manner that approaches brainwashing.
        “One of the big fallacies people have is that if you don’t have money, you’re not going to get scammed,” Barb said.
        But, she said, scammers can take advantage of victims in different ways. Since many U.S. retailers won’t ship to countries in Africa, scammers purchase items with stolen credit-card numbers, have them delivered to their victims and supply shipping forms to send the merchandise on. How will you explain to police why a flat-screen TV paid for with a stolen credit card was sent to your house?
        Some scammers actually send money and ask their victim to set up a bank account with it.
        “The problem is, they’re basically laundering money,” Barb said. “They’re stealing money from someone else. The person who opened the bank account is the one left holding the bag.”
        Criminals have another tool up their sleeves.
        “If I had one thing I could tell everybody, it’s keep your webcams off and your pants on,” Barb said. “You wouldn’t believe the people who will get on a webcam with a scammer and disrobe.”
        Some do more than disrobe, if you know what I mean. Barb said scammers then threaten to release the video to friends and family of the victim unless blackmail money is sent.
        On her Web site, Barb has info on how to spot a scammer. One useful tool is to learn how to do a reverse image search. Plugging in a profile photo may reveal multiple phony accounts using the same picture.

        If you’ve been contacted by a scammer, you can also file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission. Visit www.ftccomplaintassistant.gov and click on the “Other” category. The State Department also has information. Go to www.state.gov and search for “international financial scams.”
        I asked Barb whether people could protect themselves simply by being more skeptical.
        “It’d be nice if we were more skeptical,” Barb said. “But our lives are based on words. Words are powerful. If they’re good words, they’re even more powerful. . . . Everybody likes to hear positive things about themselves. The scammers are very good at doing that.”
        Barb said victims are often demonized. “They get so much flak. They’re blamed for what happened: ‘You deserved this. You were stupid and fell for it.’ When in reality that’s not it at all. These scammers are very, very good at what they do. This is their life’s calling.”
        They’re so good that even admonitions like “never send money to someone you don’t know” don’t always work.
        “As far as they’re concerned, this is a real relationship,” Barb said. “They feel like they know this person. That warning just kind of goes over their heads.”
        I asked Barb whether she ever found that special someone.

        “To be honest, I’ve been so busy the last 10 years I don’t have time for a relationship,” she said. “Nobody’s going to sit still for me spending all day on the Internet helping people.”

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        Monday, 1 June 2015

        10 Tips for Debt-Free Dating

        © iStockphoto.com / Tatiana Popova

        10 Tips for Debt-Free Dating

        By Andrew Housser


        For those who are dating, summer can be a wonderful time to enjoy activities together. But dating can be costly. Today, dates can cost upwards of $100 if you include a nice dinner out, wine and a movie. Some estimates put the cost of fine dining during a two-year relationship at about $8,000. Yet it's possible to get credit for dating creatively – without overusing the credit card and overspending.



        1. Give dinner a theme. 




        Cooking in is much more affordable than eating out. Try a new cuisine, and perhaps try shopping at an ethnic market for ingredients if one is available in your area. Accompany the meal with a related movie or music.



        2. Stargaze. 




        Go for a walk or a drive away from city lights. If you are not an astronomy expert, look for an app to help you identify planets and constellations. Or consider checking out astronomy groups in your area. Some meet at observatories or other locations to give people a closer look through a telescope.



        3. Watch for free days. 



        In many areas, cultural institutions have free days. Whether you learn more about what you and your date have in common, or how you differ, it is a good opportunity to follow up with a cup of coffee or cocktail and conversation.



        4. Make a picnic. 



        Picnics are classic date destinations for a reason. They can be romantic, take you outside, and help you get away from day-to-day activity. Choose a nearby park, or drive to a remote spot. If weather is not cooperating, you can even spread out a feast on the living room floor.



        5. Play games. 




        Whether you choose a board game – an old favorite or something new – or a video game, you'll have fun. It's simple, too. At the minimum, you simply need a deck or two of cards and a copy of Hoyle's – or an Internet connection.



        6. Visit open houses. 




        Especially appropriate if you are saving up for a home of your own, visit open houses in an area of interest. For couples who are in a serious relationship, it can provide a good forum for discussions on future lifestyle.



        7. Walk a dog. 




        Even if you do not have a pet of your own, you and your date can help a friend, neighbor or family member and have a fun experience in doing so. Some services, like Rover.com, even make it possible for qualified people to earn money while taking care of pets. Many animal shelters host programs for volunteers who would like to walk and care for pets, too.



        8. Get your hearts racing. 




        Many couples like to sign up together for a walk, run, bike ride or triathlon. Training and participating together will give you a shared goal and activity. 



        9. Go shopping. 



        There are plenty of interesting shopping experiences beyond the mall. One popular activity for couples (or groups of friends) is to check out a thrift store or yard sale (or string of sales) with $5 each and see who can find the best bargains.



        10. Geocache. 




        For this popular, growing activity, use your phone's GPS to track down one of the 2 million geocaches around the world. Once you are experienced, set up your own cache. Find out more at www.geocaching.com.

        Ultimately, you and your partner will have the most fun when you have honest expectations of what you can afford. Love is priceless, but it is not worth going into debt on a date.

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