How to Get Over Someone You Love | 5 Steps to Freedom
There's no sugar coating it, being in
love with someone when they no-longer love you back is one of the worst
feelings in the world.
Ideally when you break up with someone
you will both feel that the relationship has come to a natural end but that
doesn't always mean letting go is easy.
Holding onto something that can only
hurt you and stop you from moving on just isn't worth it and although how to
get over someone you love might seem like the impossible question, there are
answers.
We've asked eHarmony’s relationship
advice expert Jules Filsell to give us her five steps to getting over true
heartache.
Step 1. Lady sings the blues
The feeling that you experience after
a break up is horrendous, no question.
But don't think that you're being
ridiculous, those feelings of anger, sadness, denial and grief are all totally
normal.
However, instead of trying to ignore
them or beating yourself up about feeling sad, the best thing you can do is to
just go with them...
Don't be afraid to cry hysterically,
make your way through five tubs of Ben and Jerry's or consume a few too many
bottles of wine - whatever works for you, just don’t bottle your feelings.
Step 2. Don't
torture yourself
The problem with a messy break-up is that you’ll never find the answers
you’re really looking for.You fantasise a million different situations as to why he has broken your heart like this.
Maybe he's just too stressed with work? Maybe he just needs some space to breathe?
Don’t waste your time soul searching over why the relationship ended, texting him for his thoughts and wondering "was it something I did?"
Face up that it’s over, and look to the future.
Step 3. Cut it out
The only way to get over someone is to try and live your life
normally without constant reminders of them around. That means a bit of a cleanse (it's tough love time):
• Cut all ties with him -
no phone, no Facebook, no communication, no excuses!
• Stop reliving your relationship with your friends
on the phone. Thinking about
the ‘good ol’ days’ won’t help.
• Removing all reminders
of them from your home, car, and work space. That includes the little passport
photo of him you keep in your wallet.
If you can’t bear to throw things away, put them in a box, tape it up and hide it somewhere hard to get to - preferably guarded by three headed dogs.
If you can’t bear to throw things away, put them in a box, tape it up and hide it somewhere hard to get to - preferably guarded by three headed dogs.
Step 4. Rediscover
your single side
Although some aspects might be best left in the past, there will be some things that you will want to reclaim.
Time to get that haircut you always wanted but he didn't like, blow a shed-load of cash on outrageous shopping
Start saying 'yes' to every opportunity that comes your way - if you used to turn down work drinks
This will help
Step 5. Take your
time
It’s been said that the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone, but
frankly, we disagree. The quickest way to feel even more miserable is to sleep with someone you’re not really interested in.
Ignore your friends
and their “helpful” advice,
and make sure that you move on at your own pace.
If you want to take a break from the opposite sex for a year then so be it. And equally if you want to get right back out there you have to do what feels right for you.
No one should judge you or push you into meeting someone new sooner than you’d like. The only person who can make you feel better is you!
If you want to take a break from the opposite sex for a year then so be it. And equally if you want to get right back out there you have to do what feels right for you.
No one should judge you or push you into meeting someone new sooner than you’d like. The only person who can make you feel better is you!
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